To think it’s uncommon to both work full time with small kids?

[workingFTM]

I’m on maternity leave and thinking about my options for how many hours I’ll do when I return. Among those I know pretty much everyone is back part time after having a baby. Would you say it’s the same among those you know? In all families with young kids that I know, at least one parent has some kind of flexible working arrangement and if they don’t then family usually do all or some of the childcare. It’s a balance as I want max time off with my baby first and foremost but equally want to make sure I keep my foot in the door career wise for all sorts of reasons.

When I had my first child I went back full time but it was only three days a week as I was a nurse. My husband did the childminder drop-off and pick-ups on those days

When I had my second child I dropped down to two days a week (25 hours) because working three nursing shifts with two young children would have exhausted me!!

Nearly everyone in my professional circle one parent works part time when kids are preschool, makes it much easier for roles to be flexible I think

I returned to full time when my youngest turned two. Before that I’d done 4 four days a week which as a PP suggested was pretty rubbish as it was essentially compressing a full time job into part time hours for a 20% pay cut.

I earn double what DH does so it makes more sense for him to be part time. He’s finally agreed but his work declined the request so he’s having to appeal.

My DD is in year 2 and very few of the mums are full time. Even the ones who only have school aged children and no preschoolers. Definitely feels like we’re in the minority with two professional working parents. The only way we can manage it is because DH gets lots of holiday and we both work from home most of the time.

I work in healthcare so it’s easy to get part time hours so for my circle it’s actually pretty rare to work FT with little ones. Most of us with young kids are 2-3 days a week.

More mums in my daughter and sons years at school are PT than FT (year 1 & pre school). In pre school I'm one of around 5 parents out of about 20 who send their child in the full 5 days a week and work. The majority are only in two days a week and mum's are SAHM's.

I think it mostly depends on your social circles and where you live. Our social circles mostly live in the home counties with professional careers or expensive areas. Where we live is a part of rural west midlands. Our mortgage is sizeable but not huge like a lot of our friends. My career also isn't professional and I can easily move across sectors to progress if needed. I'm mostly the odd one out to be honest.

In my circle, most have at least one parent who has gone part time. I would have liked 4 days or compressed hours but that wasn't an option where I work - it was full time or 0.5, no other option. My days are long and I didn't want full time nursery all week so opted for 0.5 and will go back up once kids at school. It's not ideal financially but I love my days with my toddler.

Yanbu. In the offices I've worked in the vast majority of women have been part time until their DC's were settled in primary school.
I can't think of a single couple that both worked full time with young children.

Among my professional friends and acquaintances, it's usual to be back full-ish time, but maybe not taking on as much work which involves travelling to other parts of the country, etc. I went back part-time when each of mine was 3 months old and full-time by 6 months old, and that's pretty normal in my area of work. My sister, in a completely different line of work but also self-employed was roughly similar, I think.

I only have one friend who went back FT and she is a company director.

Everyone else in my circle worked PT when their babies were little. Actually most worked PT until DC at senior school. I do live in a very popular area where people tend not to move away. So we all had the benefit of grandparents and didn’t have to pay for childcare. The friend who did work FT has both sets of GPs living abroad.

Depends what your definition of full-time and part time is...I am classed as a full time employee because I work over 30 hours, but I work less than the majority who work 35 hours

In my social circle the vast majority work a 4 day week if not freelance, although some with older DC or working in academia do FT or a nine day fortnight, or compress hours. A few work less that 4 days, and some not at all although that's uncommon and usually down to their health not being great.

It's mostly mums although I do know a few dads - including my DH - who don't work FT.

Most parents I know both work full time - expensive lifestyles mean both need to work full time.

In my area lots have grandparent support to work full time and part time. Some work shifts so they don't need childcare.

Some can't afford to work because of childcare costs/ no available childcare/ sen/additional needs children.
It's mostly mums I see this affect not usually the fathers.

Every family needs to do what's best for them. Minimising family stress is always a aim but can be a hard balance as it often means the women usually is placed in more of a vunerable situation.

I think it’s very common. Im in highly paid industry and I know almost noone going PT after kids in all adjacent industries too. Either you are a career housewife from the beginning or women go back after 1 year

Completely mixed in our area tbh!! Definitely a good number of PT/compressed hours and juggling between parents for pick ups and drop offs. I know a few both FT but most have a lot of help from one or both sets of grandparents.

My DH works at sea for weeks at a time and we have no family support so we made a decision before TTC that I would only return PT when we had children. I purposely moved into a new work role close to home before TTC and we moved to a cheaper house in a nice area within walking distance of nursery/school/my work. I returned 3 days a week after DC. House is smaller than we’d like ideally but we can afford to cover all our bills on DHs salary and DC now get fully funded nursery for the hours I’m at work which is amazing.

For me, I didn’t like the idea of returning FT when my DH was also away for weeks on end and DC only seeing a parent during the week for an hour in the morning and an hour before bed outside or work/childcare. I realise we were incredibly lucky to be able to make that decision though.

My career has definitely taken a hit though, I don’t work in an area that my qualifications are in and earn less than I could. But I’m ok with that. Career will take another hit when DC starts school as my work won’t be able to accommodate school hours and there is no decent before/after school club here so I’ll need to find a new role when that time comes.

Where we live there are 2 fairly small creches and a handful of childminders covering 4 primary schools in the group of villages. I can't think of a single family where both parents work without a lot of family support.

We have zero family support now so I'm currently not working. It's not ideal for me, but we only run one car and through sheer luck have a tiny mortgage compared to most so I consider myself very lucky over all. Plus the kids have a good life, and that's all that really matters no matter what the set up.

In my social circle I only know one mum who works P/T, everyone else is FT. No SAHPs. Even at work, the people who are pt or work compressed hours are not the ones with young children but the ones with other care responsibilities or who simply want to take it easy.

I think you have to be really clear about whether it’s full time with set hours or full time with lots of extra expected. Former is doable but hard, latter is really challenging.

I’ve done 3 days, 4 days, full time and full time with a 9 day fortnight. We found both of us doing full time really hard as too much was slipping at home. 9 day fortnight is better. I found 3 days much harder than 4. 4 was my favourite working pattern.

If your child is nursery age, everyone at nursery is generally working so it feels like you’re doing what is normal. School can be a wake-up to what you’re missing when you suddenly realise there are lots of sahms or very part time mums and the pta/school admin starts flying. Nursery is better for logistics by a mile. You generally don’t need anywhere near the mental headspace as you know they will be fully fed and cared for without any requirements of you as a parent. There were times I cried at how hard it was working during the early years but I don’t regret it at all as I have options now that I wouldn’t have done if I’d quit.

Live in East Anglia so things not as expensive as in London/SE. When I had DC1 12 years ago, of my NCT group

4 of us went back FT (including me)
2 went back 3 days a week and have remained at 3 days a week
1 was a SAHM until the baby was at school

Would say that when children were under 5 and in KS1, most mums worked part time or SAHMs. Very few FT.

I worked in the charity sector when I had my DCs and most other female colleagues who had babies in that time went part time afterwards. I was the only one who stayed FT. I have known lots of other women who became SAHMs and are now working, often part time or termtime only, now their DCs are all at school. I don't know any dads who work part time.

We didn't have family support nearby when DCs were under 5 so used a childminder. Most people my DCs know at school have grandparents nearby who help out with pickups etc.

Most of my friends worked part time. I'm the only one that still is, I'm waiting for my youngest to go to secondary school and then I'll be increasing my hours to 4 days.

Edited to add I was full time when I'm I was studying to be a midwife but I was doing three long shifts a week or uni lectures where each day wasn't necessarily a full day but we had a lot of study time to do at home.

DH and I did it from when youngest started Y1 until they left home really. Didn't really have a lot of choice financially but also I had a career I loved (teacher) and DH was a high earner so we just cracked on with it. Used a childminder for before/after school which worked for us.

At work (university) there are lots of parents of young DC and we all work FT, mostly using nursery rather than family.

At nursery/school I would say most of the mums are somewhat part-time, but they haven't dropped many hours for the most part.

Now eldest is at primary it's hard to tell - some WFH while the kids are home during term time, others flex hours so even though they're full-time they're there for plenty of school runs.

We both always worked FT and used nursery, luckily we had a very good nursery and both DC have always been happy there. These days we flex our hours and each finish early one day a week to do school pickup and homework.

It's all about finding the balance that works for you and your family - we like having breakfast and dinner together as a family every day so compressing hours wouldn't have worked for us as those days then become so long.

Just don't let guilt influence your decision making - your DC has loving parents and will be fine.

I went back to work full time when DD was 9 months and DH has always worked full time too. There are a few other parents in our circle who are the same.

We’re the only couple in our friendship group who both work full time! I work full time out of the home and my DH does 2 days wfh. It’s hard with DC!

I am still on maternity leave, my LO is 1.5 years old.
My DH took 2 months paternity leave when our DC was born, but is otherwise working full time (very full on job, no traveling though so he is mostly at home for bedtime).

I am suppose to go back to work when LO is 2yo, part time probably 25 hours. We can live comfortably on my DH's salary, so I am considering staying at home longer. We would like a second child at some point. I am not sure if it makes more sense to go back to work for 6-12 months part time and then go on another maternity leave or stay at home.

Most families I know have one parent working part time, we are not in the UK though. SAHMs are not as common here.