To think it’s uncommon to both work full time with small kids?

[workingFTM]

I’m on maternity leave and thinking about my options for how many hours I’ll do when I return. Among those I know pretty much everyone is back part time after having a baby. Would you say it’s the same among those you know? In all families with young kids that I know, at least one parent has some kind of flexible working arrangement and if they don’t then family usually do all or some of the childcare. It’s a balance as I want max time off with my baby first and foremost but equally want to make sure I keep my foot in the door career wise for all sorts of reasons.

I think nowadays more people work FT than when my children were small.In my circle of friends (Mother's) no body worked FT .I consider myself lucky, feel really sorry for the parents these days and all the juggling they have to do.

I don’t mean to be rude but are you all in families where there’s a decent salary?

We couldn’t afford for me to go back part-time. We managed by working opposite hours so DH was off 2 days per week and worked weekends.

I know of quite a few families with 0-4 kids where they both work FT. There’s no choice really financially and so there is some compression of hours / flexi working etc.

Most of my friends are full time.

I know several people who initially went back 4 days, but all found they were doing the same amount of work for 80% of the pay, and not taken seriously.

This London-based professional-wage types.

Short term cost of childcare is appalling, but the long term consequences of not having two good wages worse.

It’s def the norm in my circle. Thinking of my sons friends (primary) and nursery friends, nearly all have at least one parent part time. It’s mostly the mums but some dads too.

I think it really depends on the jobs women do and the wage they earn. Where I live it's a working class area, where many women work for mw. Most of them go part time or change to weekend or evening working to avoid childcare costs (i dont think we don't have funded childcare hours here).

But where work it's professional women who have spent time getting qualfications and working up the ladder. Most return ft after children

Thinking of DS friends and also my friends, the majority have one part time parent, including myself. I went back part time after ds1 was born, was going to increase when he went to secondary but then had ds2 and am still part time.

Both of us have always worked full time.

I was keen to continue to progress my career and going part time would have made that more challenging.

Thinking back to the families in my DC's primary class, yes I think it's unusual. A sahp is also unusual. I knew loads of families where the dad worked full time and the mum did four days a week. Or some other part time arrangement

As a teacher, I would say it still very rare. Most primary children have one parent either part-time or doing compressed hours. Some have both parents doing that in order to be able to pick up their child from school once a week. The child is in after school club/childminder/with grandparents on the other days.

A very small minority have a nanny who does all drop offs and pick ups. This doesn't always mean both parents are working full time though.

feel really sorry for the parents these days and all the juggling they have to do.

Some people do this out of choice though. I chose to continue to work full time so don't need anyone to feel sorry for me!

Almost all the parents I know work full time, with the exception of a couple of freelancers, but they're so busy that they must be doing close to 40 hours a week.

I always feel like the underachiever when we have mum drinks because I work for a charity and the rest of them are consultants, bankers, partners in law firms etc.

We are both full time and so are our friendship group.

Amongst my friendship circle most parents (mum OR dad) worked part time when DC were very young but are back up to full time by upper primary. I only know one SAHM.
….. however I also know that at my DCs primary there are only 40 places in ASC and childminders are rarer than hens teeth so the vast vast majority of the 400 or so pupils are being picked up by a parent/grandparent.

I don’t know anyone who went back part time, all full time. I went back full time after my first (5YO) and about to go back full time after my second. Wish I could drop a day or two but can’t afford it.

In my circles most people have tried to condense hours in some way but are still full time.

Most women I know socially are PT but most mothers at work (big 4 consulting) are FT. I imagine if I worked 4 days a week I’d have a sliver more flexibility but still end up working at least 40-50hrs for 80pc pay.

Why does that make you feel an underachiever. You've chosen your career path they've chosen theirs

My children are now adults, I always worked full time, for two reasons. One, I wanted to have my own money at the time and
Two, I was in a final salary pension scheme and wanted to ensure I had a good pension in retirement. Working part time would have reduced that considerably.

I think it's more normal for both parents to work full time now a days.

Oooh, be careful. You don’t want to fall into the default parent trap or put yourself in a situation where you can’t leave if things go awry/you are reliant on another person financially. Be very, very careful!

Tbh, most parents I know, at least one of them will do a four day week or compressed hours and that seems to work best.

After my first, I went back part time and ended up doing all of the housework, all of the parenting, hardly having any money and my relationship being in the shitter. The only thing that saved me was going back to full time employment. My partner and I both worked full time after our second child and it was pretty tough going - in terms of juggling schedules, paying childcare, keeping up socially/attending school events but this was still vastly preferable to the part time situation (I had greater access to money, it was easier to justify making him pull his weight at home and demand to be treated equally and respectfully. It has also meant that I haven’t fell victim to brain or career rot this time round!).

I did part time in the evening after looking after DD all day. Shattering. I'd almost say I wouldn't recommend but it did seem the best of both worlds to me. Couple time took a serious back seat, and free time was basically nonexistent.

PS schools will act as though there is always one stay at home parent, regardless of what you do.

I went back full time after mat leave with both mine and I'm definitely in the minority. The vast majority of my friends of my friends who have kids are working part time. I'm very envious of them. 😞

I have 3 kids in primary school, so know loads of parents.
Very, very few work full time. Most work part time, but more don't work at all compared to working full time.

Mine are 13 and 8 and can’t think of anyone where both parents went back FT. Lots did when the littlest started school and most are now 4 days. Still don’t know many where both work FT.