To think it’s uncommon to both work full time with small kids?

[workingFTM]

I’m on maternity leave and thinking about my options for how many hours I’ll do when I return. Among those I know pretty much everyone is back part time after having a baby. Would you say it’s the same among those you know? In all families with young kids that I know, at least one parent has some kind of flexible working arrangement and if they don’t then family usually do all or some of the childcare. It’s a balance as I want max time off with my baby first and foremost but equally want to make sure I keep my foot in the door career wise for all sorts of reasons.

Pretty much everyone in my circle went back full time. In the civil service though it's common where I work for both parents to do 9/10 so they get a day off every other week but get paid FT wages.

It depends on your circle. I don't know any mums who went back full time after maternity leave. All well paid professionals with “career type jobs” (so not minimum wage or unskilled roles that you could pick up and drop up in future), but most of them do four days. I think most of them plan to keep the reduced hours (30ish a week) when the kids start school as well, just maybe spreading them over 5 days to make school runs easier.

This is pretty normal where I live. If you’re able to afford a decent standard of living with small kids in the UK whilst working less than full-time, you’re luckier than many.

Me and DH are an absolute minority where we live. I'm PT and he does FT in 4 days, both in professional jobs. Most other parents we know are FT.

It's unusual to the extent that I feel a bit self conscious in social situations! All these Mums careers don't seem to have skipped a beat due to short mat leaves and back FT to amazing big jobs. Me less so!

all My friends work part time after children. At nursery, I think quite a few mums work full time. I work 3 days per week and husband works full time (2 days at home). I couldn’t work full time. There is too much going on. I have my child in full time nursery so I can get things done on my days off.

My husband and I have always worked full time and our kids are now 9 and 7.

I don't particularly recommend it.

I have 2 small children and all of my friends with children have gone back full time (albeit with either condensed hours or flexible working in most cases)

Every family I know except 1, one parent works part time. There are few SAHM in our daughter classes, but the pay off for this seems to be that the Dads work very long hours and don't do any pick ups/drop offs/ school plays etc.

I returned on 3 days after my first, 2 days after my 2nd, now back up to 3.5 days as youngest is in school. For me my priority was for one of us to be there for drop offs and pick ups, school events and trips. DH does 3 drop offs, I do 2 drop off and 3 pick ups, MIL does 1 pick up and 1 day after school club. We had challenges conceiving both, and we were told youngest might not make it, so I decided that my career was no longer my priority.
We build our work around school times and their extracurriculars, we are lucky that we both have very supportive managers who appreciate our skills and knowledge and to keep up they give us flexibility.

I've always worked full time compressed into 4 days. My DH also moved to this pattern when our DS was 2.5 from memory and we could then have him with us 4 days, in nursery for 3.

I know a really mix of families but a lot both work full time or near full time. I think cost of living drives people to do this to pay the mortgage and bills.

Re: your career, it really depends what you do, but I think working 3 days or less will really impact your career. Meetings will happen without you, you naturally will contribute less. You will keep your toe in, but I think it dents your career prospects more than if you were to do 4 or 5 days per week.

Think it also depends how you define full time. I’ve got a number of friends on 35h per week ‘full time’ contracts but that wouldn’t be anywhere near FT contracted hours in other industries (obviously lots of people work beyond their contracted hours).

Lots of people work FT hours over 4days as well because it makes huge financial sense to pay 80% of your childcare bill.

I work pt and DH works ft, I work 2 half days a week in my own business. It's fairly common in my circle but there are also quite a few with 2 ft working parents. We're in London with dcs at a prep, so cost of living is about as expensive as you'll get. The ft workers are always very senior (partners in law etc) and have nannies.

Only two of my friends with young children work FT with a FT partner. One because in London there's no other option and one because she was planning two close together and wanted to maximise mat pay, I believe. I suspect she might go PT after this mat leave.

Most others work 3 or 4 days a week, mostly mum but sometimes the dad too.

I work full time and so does my husband. In my job I'd be working the hours anyway so might as well get paid for them. We have no family but my kids love nursery and they are there till 6pm. My eldest has started school and he does afternoon club. It's hectic but the only way we could afford 2 kids frankly!

I know some of each, and quite a few where the mum didn’t go back to work at all, but the majority I think have one parent part time, 3 or 4 days. And almost everyone I know has some amount of working from home/flexibility in hours.

Just from mumsnet alone you can see it varies so much. Almost all my friends with primary school aged kids work part time and have some degree of flexibility. One of my neighbours is a single mum and her kids go to breakfast club, her mum then does school pickups and cooks an evening meal and has the children till she gets home. Our other neighbours both work full time, one works locally and is able to do school drop off but then has grandparents collect from school. My parents live too far to be able to help in such a way and my mil doesn't wish to so we had to make it work between us. Initially dh worked from home 2 days a week whilst we used childcare, once we had our 3rd child he compressed his hours and I went self employed. We have greater flexibility now but it took some years to get to this position.

I'm still part time and mine are teenagers now. If you can afford it it's a better life.

Vast majority of women I know work full time , although a lot do their hours over three or four days rather than five. Which is the best of both worlds really. Full time wage, more days off. It was my dp who dropped hours when our dc were small.

I only know one couple who both work part time, but they have inherited wealth. Everyone else, both parents work full time both my NCT group and close group of friends. Most could probably afford for one parent to go part time (we could, possibly even for one of us to not work at all for a while), but neither of us wanted that.

We don’t find it stressful, have a good work/life balance and wouldn’t change a thing.

Live in Edinburgh where schools close midday Friday. I am rare for working full time (need the money). Feel guilty for putting the girls in after school club all afternoon but I have no choice. A lot of mums would work full time if we didn’t have such a ludicrous local authority though.

Quite common here but this is commuter land , lots work consolidated hours though. There is also a large hospital and airport so lots of shift workers.

ETA we both work full time but both work 5 in 4 so only need after school childcare 3 days a week

I, and the majority of people I knew at baby club, nursery etc, all worked full time when kids were small, and so did their partners

That’s obviously true for you, but it’s not true for everyone, certainly not for me and my husband, neither of us wanted to go part time. You just have to do what’s best for your family, I don’t think there is a one size fits all approach to things like this. I think our approach is the best possible for us, but won’t work for everyone.

I work full time, because I want to, and I’m the odd one out with friends and among the women at work, who are all part time to varying degrees. When my twins were very small they were in nursery 3-4 days a week and with my mum the other 1-2 days (apart from Covid when they were exclusively at home for almost a year), and since starting school we’ve had a nanny.

We both went part time until DC was 3 and started nursery. Now I'm still part time 2 days and DP full time. I find i need to do part time as i would never get a break otherwise

In my area it’s unusual for both parents to work ft. I’d say one or both are pt until school age.

dc are 11 and 13 and in most families I know, it’s still the case although typically the mum working 4 days a week so not massively part time.

It’s not a wealthy area - but property is cheap ish and it’s easy enough to manage with one car, so that cuts outgoings a lot.