I’m scared of using new/nice things

[thecherryfox]

Ok, the title sounds a little strange but I have anxiety over using nice things. I guess it stems from not having much money and if it breaks, I can’t afford a replacement. But it’s like I buy new clothes and I always think ‘I can’t wear that, I’ll save it for best’ and years later I never have an occasion to wear it and it just sits there unworn going to waste. I end up wearing ‘crap’ clothes whilst my good clothes sit untouched because I’m scared to wear it. This also applies to household items too, I have a food flask in the cupboard that I’m too scared to use incase I ruin it, so I keep that for best whilst I put leftover food in bowls with clingfilm or tatty plastic pots.

Does anyone else relate? Please share your stories so I don’t feel alone or crazy

DH just uses things straight away. New jackets, boots.
Buys quality, never “this will do the job” Tesco version.

I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes, accessories.
And make-up, shampoo, jewellery… Nice chocolates…

Books are another thing, I like to keep them “perfect”.
What I like is “newness” & even keep things in the bag.

When I get back from shopping, I’ll defer opening things.
I wasn’t always like this, but I’m becoming like my parents.

I’d really liked to change… DS is so unlike me, this way!
So, I want him to enjoy things, and see me doing the same.

Books - now they are the one thing my madness has never applied to. My friend never broke the spine of a book because 'then it wouldn't look new anymore'.

I had a great teacher who used to say that she preferred to see an obviously well loved book and it stuck with me.

Hi,
I know so many people who keep things for best and guests, but I don't.

I use and wear lovely things every day and live by the phrase, "Buy cheap, buy twice" so I buy or save for the highest quality but no 'best' things as everything is regularly used as intended. I'm not wasteful or careless with them and appreciate and enjoy them. Some things in my home are older than me and passed through many hands, some will serve their purpose and be used up or worn out.

The most precious thing in my home is people, everything else is for their comfort. Growing up, my family home offered a warm welcome, everyone was, "at their aunties" and made to feel at home. My home continues this sentiment.

I think people who buy things that they don’t use have more money than sense!

Oh god, this is me. Any pyjamas I've ever had have been Christmas presents from my mum. Last summer was the first time I'd ever bought myself pyjamas and it felt so indulgent, although I needed a summer pair.

Someone bought me a very fancy candle for a big birthday, over a decade ago, and I have never lit it. It has a ceramic lid on it and for about 8 years I didn't even take the lid off as I could smell it a bit without the lid being taken off and I didn't want to waste the smell . I have now allowed myself the pleasure of having the lid off. I don’t know when I'll allow myself the pleasure of lighting it.

I do this far too much. Constantly putting off nice things for myself for the future.

Definitely an anxiety thing.

Your time is now, you never know if today will be your last. So wear those shoes right out of the shop!! 🙌🏻

My Mum was like this. She had been poor once so I think it stems from that. A little bit has rubbed off on me. So you are not alone.

In my experience, and some of that personal, this is related to trauma, something in your young experience. Trauma doesn't have to be a huge incident, its more about how we processed it at the time, or didn't. Id say its related to value of yourself and the environment growing up but only you would be able to fathom that. It can be about having some kind of “be perfect” driver

I am like this, I get it from my mother. She saved things for best and I do too. I think that it stems from not having much when growing up.

My dad was like that my whole life. Even extended it to me. He would buy me things for Christmas but I wasn’t allowed to open the box, had to keep them as they might be worth some money. If he got bought anything nice, he wouldn’t use it.

I cleared out the loft when he died. it was boxes of unused stuff that went to the charity shop or the tip. The saddest thing was all the presents I got as child, all packed away as my parents were sure they would be worth something one day and all worthless shit now.

I use everything. We’re all going to be dead one day, what’s the point of not enjoying stuff or money while we can.

I know after this thread I'm going to wear my jewellery, it sounds so silly after all it's only materials

Oh that's excellent!

That's really sad.
It's up there with people who hoard Lego thinking it's going to increase in value. While it might, Lego also watch the second-hand market, and have been known to re-release sets, knocking down the second hand value, things like the Taj Mahal, the first winter village set, the Harry Potter sets, Star Wars death star.
I think about all the wee lego people who are never put together or played with. 🥲

The awful thing was, I couldn’t even give a lot of it to my children as a lot of it was water damaged, covered in mould. It had to go to the tip. And it was all worthless anyway.

I will never do that and I teach my children not to either. Things are to be enjoyed. So what if you get a whole in those lovely jeans, use up the expensive perfume, use the lovely notebook - it shows you’ve used them and enjoyed them.

I am sat hugging the dog and getting covered in hair in an extortionately priced (to us) superdry hoodie that dh got me as a present. I don’t really do anything else bar walk the dog and clean the house. If I didn’t wear it and get muddy dog prints on it, it would sit in my wardrobe. So I’ll enjoy wearing it until it’s worn out.

@Mydogisamassivetwat
I'm at my desk at home with perfume on! Not the best perfume but I've got bottles of the stuff that I just never wear.
DH uses Aftershave every single day. So it's a regular birthday/ Christmas present idea.

Yes, I loved Lego as a child. I’d build great little scenarios!
Love watching DS doing the same. He enjoys all of his toys.

My sister doesn’t allow her DS scribble, sticker etc on toys, books, children’s furniture, so she can sell it on afterwards.

SIL is the same with children’s clothes. No playing in them!
I’m really changing my ways, since having DS, which is good.

I used to be like this when very young but then realised I was wearing the same old crap every day, using naff items, not feeling like me. Because the nice things we lovingly buy are an extension of our personalities and tastes. I'd look at photos of myself and wonder why I didn't like them. Also lost a few people who died young and realised life is too short not to use/wear the good stuff. There are rarely special occasions to wear the nice stuff to.

Now I wear all my good clothes all the time, my jewellery, nice makeup, use the best kitchen stuff, toiletries, furnishings, best coat, and everyday I feel like my true self. When someone snaps a photo of me or someone bumps into me, I'm now happy as I'm looking how I want to look. I'm portraying the image I want to portray and that helps so much with confidence.
You spent the money and effort buying all these nice things. Use them! You are worth it and you will be happier for it. The special occasion isn't coming.

I grew up relatively poor, where us children had 3 sets of clothes: school uniform, Sunday best and playing out scruffs. We used washing up liquid as shampoo, while conditioner, body lotion and deodorant weren't something we had.

Since I started earning my own money, I buy clothes (good quality) so that I have lots of choice with work wear, going out clothes and lounging around the house clothes. I buy lovely shampoo and conditioner, my bathroom has more toiletries than Boots, and I use them all, the same with perfume.

I do have to force myself to use nice stationery though. My daughter bought me a beautiful journal for Christmas and I have started to write in it today, only 7 days late.

I like the quote "Life is short, take the trip, eat the cake, buy the shoes."

Bit similar. Have wardrobe of lovely things for best. My goto everyday outfit is same old jeans and sweater. Never wear the Best bits

@Kashmiri24 I think that it is relatively common for kids to have limited clothes. Unless they are actually going out somewhere they don't seem to need a wide choice of stuff.
Growing up we got new outfits for Christmas which you wore to the church party, school party, Christmas day and any other winter birthday parties.

Kids these days primary just doesn't do parties they have a dress down day and it's all actvites, we don't do church, and Christmas day is more casual than ever.

I'm lucky if they were dressy shirts 4 or 5 times before they are outgrown. Hence they have one each.

Today. Burn it today. It's what the friend who bought it wanted you to do with it, it's what it was designed to do and it's miraculous the that the scent has lasted this long. By the time that hypothetical special day arrives it will probably be long gone.
Over the last few weeks I've watched programmes on the 2004 tsunami and the London bombs. You never know when tomorrow isn't going to come so enjoy life - and with it things like the lovely candle - today. You, and everyone else on this thread, deserve it.

Imagine lying in your coffin with all these gorgeous things piled up around you. Gone to waste when you could have enjoyed them. Also, if they are presents, think how much pleasure people get from you using them.

DH asked for some expensive bath products this year. I bought them, and then found the ones I'd bought last year still in their gift bag. It really upset me. A waste of good money. He thinks everything is 'too good to use' and whinges that he didn't get his share of nice food stuff at Christmas, but if I save it for him, it goes mouldy.

Think of the song lyric: All we have is now. All we'll ever have is now.
You can only ever live right now, so now is the only opportunity you'll ever have to bathe in the best soap, put on your best clothes, get pleasure from them and you'll lift the standard of your every day life until this is normal for you. Because otherwise when the opportunity to use them is 'now' you'll think, 'No, later.'

I buy nice clothes and household things and use them at once in case they get too comfortable in the cupboard and won’t come out.

I love this. It's a brilliant take on things.

Ha ha
Brilliant
Wore my new boots today ( had about 2 months) as the old ones were still wet.
They're brilliant