I’m scared of using new/nice things

[thecherryfox]

Ok, the title sounds a little strange but I have anxiety over using nice things. I guess it stems from not having much money and if it breaks, I can’t afford a replacement. But it’s like I buy new clothes and I always think ‘I can’t wear that, I’ll save it for best’ and years later I never have an occasion to wear it and it just sits there unworn going to waste. I end up wearing ‘crap’ clothes whilst my good clothes sit untouched because I’m scared to wear it. This also applies to household items too, I have a food flask in the cupboard that I’m too scared to use incase I ruin it, so I keep that for best whilst I put leftover food in bowls with clingfilm or tatty plastic pots.

Does anyone else relate? Please share your stories so I don’t feel alone or crazy

I am also like that, but I've tried to change because a lot of clothing I saved because I really liked it ended up no longer being my taste and I should have just worn it until it fell apart rather than saving it for 'good'. Try to think in terms of cost per use, the more you use or wear it the better value it is.

I'm the opposite of this. But wishing I wasn't right now. I bought a £450 jumper for £50 from Vinted, it arrived today. It's beautiful. Tried it on and dropped ketchup down the front within two minutes.

Absolutely. Choose a notebook and use it proudly.

I used to be like this but my turning point was when I used a perfume I always 'saved for best' and it didn't smell as strong as it used to, I didn't realise perfumes could stop smelling nice after time and since then I now wear or use things I would have previously saved for best.

You've only got on life, use the things you buy!

I used to be like this until one day I realised a perfume I adored had been discontinued. I went to the bottle I had and it was nearly scentless because I’d had it so many years. My friend gave me a molten brown shower gel and I started using it daily and felt fab! No I couldn’t afford it again for some time but I was thrilled I hadn’t wasted it!

thaisweetchill

oh my wow, snap!! (Yours wasn’t Gucci was it?!)

Oh goodness yes, the notebooks! That one upsets me most because I truly love them; I have to force myself to just open a page and write my name to get it started. Feels like I'm marring something, until about two pages in and then I finally enjoy it. But it's not easy!

I absolutely agree. I think 2025 should be the year we're kind to ourselves and let ourselves enjoy these nice things. I have a beautiful new perfume (it's only Lush, so not crazily expensive), and I'm going to put it on when I get out of the bath tonight. In my pyjamas. For bed! We deserve to feel nice.

I got married in 2000 and was given a set of Wedgwood cutlery that came out at Christmas. This year I thought, ‘sod it’, threw out all my mismatched IKEA/TK Maxx/Tesco knives, forks, and spoons, and installed the good stuff in the day to day cutlery drawer. It’s so nice to use 😁

I knit a lot of gifts for people and nothing gives me greater pleasure than to see the recipient in a year’s time wearing the threadbare, much loved and worn gloves I made them, or to see their baby wrapped in a blanket I made that’s covered in mashed banana and fluff and clearly gets used every day.

For the same reason, toys in museums that are still in their packaging make me sad - to paraphrase both Plato and Toy Story 2, they’ve never had a chance to BE what they were meant to be.

Wear the nice dress. Put the cashmere cardigan on. Pour that expensive wine or beautiful bath oil with a generous and joyful hand. Enjoy the small pleasures that make up our brief and wonderful time on this earth.

Mr Monkey is a bit like this. I tidied a cupboard over Christmas and found three unopened boxes of running shoes and some shorts still in their wrapping. I tend use stuff immediately, regardless of specialness, generally because if I bought it I need it/want it.

Well I could be like this with some things I suppose but I'm not

I wear the best make up and clothes and eat the nicest food I can afford. I open new things immediately and use them or wear them

The only things I tuck away are my great grandmas wedding ring as it's loose on my finger and my mum's gold Tiffany bracelet which is also loose - I cannot replace these items so I don't chance it

Anything else is fair game though.

However it's a bit of a mental condition, to not use your nice things and walk about in old clothes or whatever. So you either give yourself a talking to or seek therapy or, if you can't , resign yourself to this being how you live

Same. I wear/use my ‘best’ stuff every day. What’s the point in owning it otherwise? It’s just stuff.

I managed to break this habit by designating Friday as nice clothes day. It gave me permission to wear clothes I have saved for nice occasions because it was their designated day. I still struggle with nice drinking glasses and nice table clothes etc, but its step by step

Think of them as consumables, not ornaments. Why should you not be deserving of wearing or using the best you can afford? Nothing worse than when you see items given away after someone's death and they've never been used, as they were kept for good - what the hell is 'good' if not now?

There is a great Ted Talk on this subject x

I've posted about this before and yes this is me.

I'm really bad. I actually put nice things people give me away in the cupboard for someone more worthy (in my mind).

I'm managing to get better with my children. To start the beautiful things we're out away for best. In lockdown. No best. Now I force myself to use those.

But I dress like a bag lady and no chance of me opening even twenty plus year wedding gifts.

It's absolutely, for me, a worth thing.

I've always been like this too. I got a great deal on some skincare that cost hundreds. It was too nice to use do sat in the wardrobe for years, until it was past its best. Clothes never worn etc. My DH is the opposite and that's helped a lot. I remember the two of us buying new boots. Mine were in the box, kept for some future occasion, and he ripped the label off his and put them on to go to the shop. I was horrified and said "but they're new, you can't wear them out to the shop". He said "But that's what they're for...to wear". It actually made sense. I've been trying to do better and it is working.
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This thread has really been an eye opener.I could have written so many of these posts.My wardrobe is crammed with new clothes and what am I sitting in ? Really old sweatshirt and jeans ! .Am going to have a real clear out tomorrow and tonight, wear one of my new pairs of PJs rather than the old warn out comfy ones I normally wear .

I used to do it because as a child I never had anything nice. If someone gave me something nice, Xmas for example, I'd keep it hidden away so my parents couldn't use it.

What stopped me was when I started buying stuff for my flat after being homeless and losing everything, so I was getting it from charity shops, and so many things in charity shops have obviously been kept "for best" by people who died without ever using them.

I relate as I was in care and the kids in the family would just take anything I was given which wasn't much. These days if I buy something to wear I do try and wear it within a couple of days.

I have spent £70 on a new silver ring, it arrived today and I was thinking it's too nice to wear everyday and I am worried about scratching it

This thread has made me realise I will love it, wear it everyday and admire it becuaee that's why I bought it.

I grew up in poverty and spent a portion of my adult life poor. It turned me the opposite way.

I buy the best food I can afford. I buy decent clothes from quality brands, and wear them! If I buy something nice I use it. I work for it and I'm worth it, as they say on the ad!

I don't necessarily "waste" money. I mean I could buy cheaper but if I can afford xyz then I'll buy it. If i had to go back to poverty I would manage. I do have frugal spells sometimes when saving for something in particular. So I know I can still do it if I have to. But while I do have the funds, I'm going to enjoy them.

I used to be like this.
Now I wear the nice clothes, always wear my jewellery, I use my nice bath products and perfumes and I light posh candles etc etc. These things bring me happiness.

I used to be like this but then I think of Kevin talking about his roller skates in Home Alone 2, how he kept then because he didn’t want to break them, then he never got to use them because he grew too big for them. But daft but it reminds me to use the nice things!

My parents had nice plates in the cupboard for decades while we ate off chipped, discoloured ones.

I buy beautiful china from the charity shop for my reception classroom play kitchen. It's so cheap and there's always loads. It's fairly robust overall but things get smashed all of the time. I find it sad that people have not used their things and now children are using them to make a mud soup in.