This one is illustrative of how difficult situations like this can be and how they can perpetually enhance the loneliness of people who may overstay their welcomes because they're lonely and unhappy, as people have mentioned upthread.
If any of you are reading-overstaying might give you a bit more of a fun day for a bit longer but it is not helpful to you long term!
Different friend to previous overstayer, this one invited to stay for three nights. I had all three days off work plus an extra one the day after she'd leave. Said friend doesn't work, and doesn't have much going on in life which I feel is especially relevant. I don't judge her for this, in fact I am sort of envious of it, but anyway...
On the day she was due to leave she was looking at her phone.
'Oh no! X (friend who is meant to pick her up from her local train station) can't pick me up now! My car's broken down!'
I asked why was X picking her up in (friends) car, why can't she pick her up in her own (x's) car?
Apparently because friend's dog was too large to go in X's car and X was looking after dog for the time she was away.
Fine, I guess but surely there's other ways around that? Why does she need to bring the dog when she picks you up?
'Because she's got dog at her house and train station is on the way to my house from hers and It's a long way'.
I had a sneaking feeling that friend was lying, and there was no car issue, she'd decided this tale because she didn't want to leave. She didn't have many friends it seemed, just me and the one picking her up and she'd had a good ol' time.
This was sort of confirmed when my face must've said it all.
As it was, I'd had a nice time having friend to visit but I was also looking forward to her going! This is what some overstayers seem to not 'get' and they'll guilt trip you-throw in politeness and having weak boundaries and it's a disaster.
I was looking forward to having that evening to myself to recharge, and a day off once she'd gone, to refresh myself and relax and get things sorted before returning to work. I had now been robbed of it. And this made me angry! It didn't mean I didn't like this friend nor that I had not enjoyed her company, but I knew how long she was staying and when she was going and that's what I was okay with. She had now stomped all over this boundary.
As this was also not long after previous overstayer friend situation, which this friend knew about and knew how much it had upset me, I was really, really annoyed.
She kept up the pretense that the car situation was real and she'd just have to stay another night, but (I think becuase I was quite quiet and 'all hosted out' -then she began guilt-tripping me that she'd just leave, it was fine, she could spend the night at the train station, she'd be fine on her own there, she was sure X could pick her up the following day (why was she so sure, car issues getting fixed aren't always so simple/timely are they?!)
I since learned that friend doesn't actually drive, or have a car. And the dog, albeit being a huge one, fits fine into X's car. I know she was lying and I am pretty sure she KNOWS I know she was lying.
I think she just wanted to stay longer for reasons mentioned upthread.
-She didn't get to go many places
-It was 'different' being at mine
-I'm a decent host-we'd had good food, good conversation, good wine, nice walks, a nice time-she didn't want to go back home!
The trouble is, it caused a problem between us;
-I was upset that I had been robbed of my 'me time' and day properly off.
-She was upset that I wasn't jumping for joy/delighted to have her company for longer.
-We had to have an awkward conversation of me having to try to tactfully explain why I wasn't delighted-this was just a shame and unnecessary!
-And it was sad-we had had a really good time.
I guess people who are lonely and not busy and don't have a lot going on just simply can't understand that people who work and have busier lives appreciate time, rest and days of doing nothing.
With her, yes she was a decent guest and we'd had fun but that didn't mean I wanted her there forever?
But I was very reluctant to have her back after that.
She did acknowledge that she'd over stayed, on a conversation some months later which to me just was admittance that there was no issue with the car.
My boundaries are better than this now, but it still gets me worried and I still think of this situation whenever I see her. It's a bit unbalanced as we both still do stay with one another a couple of times a year and I know that if I decided to doss at hers for an extra week she would be happy. But much as I love her, that's just not me.