To ask the worst things your parents have said to you?

[BradleyGreenToes]

I’ll start -
I’m a slut
I’m a failure without any friends
I’m irrelevant to the family because I don’t have children

I always got “don’t tell lies” if I tried to raise anything that had happened with her. I’ve given up trying now as I don’t think she is capable of an adult conversation without her getting hysterical, crying and saying how hard everything was for her. I’ve always had to be the adult in our relationship and she expected me to look after her from when I was a young child.

My dad's always been a bully - never physical but verbally. The day after my darling husband died from cancer he told my teenage daughter that id "bumped" him off to get my hands on his money.
I very rarely see him now - I can't bear to even look at him.

Good grief! I was going to post a couple of things my dad said to me which hurt and stuck with me my whole life and might have just been insensitive but they are nothing compared to some of these!

I cannot understand how a mother can say such things to a child even in anger let alone her own children. A couple of times in amger I have crossed a line with my children but I have always apologised if it was something I didn't mean.

Hugs to everyone 💐

My dad talking about an old man who SA'ed a child 'You'd have liked that'
I was SA'ed as a child by an old man.
Posted on here about it at the time, believe it was early onset dementia/confusion. I let it slide eventually as I genuinely think he never meant it.
He's terminally ill now and even more confused but I've never quite got over that. I still look after him and have a good relationship with him.

[When I returned home after being rushed to hospital where I’d had failed ventouse, followed by an emergency c-section, followed by not knowing (despite asking) for nearly an hour whether my baby had survived, while he was in neo-natal care having intravenous antibiotics]:

“Stop crying or you won’t be able to breastfeed either”.

Was well-meant apparently haha!

Post them (if you want to), it's not a competition. Just because they might not be the worst things on here doesn't mean they aren't hurtful and damaging or that you haven't got a right to say it.

I'm in my sixties and the product of a shot gun wedding and rapid divorce. My mum never ceased reminding me that I had never been wanted and having me had ruined her life. If abortion was freely available back then she would have taken that option without hesitation.

When I was (single parent) struggling with post natal depression, a baby that didn’t sleep and a toddler that has since been diagnosed with autism, my dad told me I shouldn’t be upset that my baby was crying for me ten minutes after I put them to bed (and had just sat down for tea), that it was nice the baby wanted me and I knew what I was getting into by having a second. It’s been 5 years and I’m still bitter now

The gaslighting is the worst of it all. I too was "the responsible" one and then got my DF mocking me for this.

Context: I was 21, my mum had died 19 days previously. My father was due to visit me for the weekend as I'd called him to say I'd been feeling sad and lonely.

My father: "I'm not coming through this weekend as I have got a date with my new girlfriend. I did my grieving before your mum died and her passing was a relief really. If you don't accept this then you're going to lose your dad as well".

I love you but I don’t like you. The feelings mutual. Haven’t seen them in 9 years.

@JHound my mum routinely said to me that I shouldn't have children because they'd ruin your life and because all men are bastards (both would be said cheerfully) and that she hated having children and that it was my fault my dad left, and that no man would ever want me if even he didn't (said in anger)
It was such a normal routine part of life that I honestly had a realisation when I was in my twenties that I could have children if I wanted to, and that it was a choice. I can only compare it to a friend of mine who was brought up conservative/religious with the expectation that having children was a duty and aspiration and her having the realisation that she also had autonomy over her own body. It's weird but it really was a shock to me because it was so, so normal.

My mum was from the post war working class era where she had no choice. She was one of the last to go to a comp school (rather than grammar) where they were taught to iron shirts and hoover, left at 14 and started work in jobs that wouldn't be enough to live on - they had to find husbands who would look after them.

Thank you for your kind response. I'm still getting my head around it! Greiving for the life I should have had, with a diagnosis years ago. But now I feel safer with my amazing husband who is also my carer and keeps me safe. In my whole life, this is the longest time I've ever gone without being sexually assaulted or r*ped. Which is great :)

It really is the worst. My mother likes to think of herself as the most devoted, loving mother and I still feel everything is my fault. It is only through decades of therapy that I have been told that I was emotionally abused and that my MH issues are a consequence of my childhood. To the outside world we were a nice respectable middle class family.

My mum called me and my sister sluts when we had crumpled up clothes on ( I was 11, can't remember how old my sister was)

"If you'd been another boy I would've had you adopted". From my mother. Also, when I was put on the pill by the doctor at age 16 because of crippling periods- "You're obviously sleeping around".

She also used to tell me that she was sure that the brother that sexually abused me when I was 10 was sorry (he wasn't and isn't).

She used to go on and on about how my Dad used to like 'dipping his wick' all throughout their marriage (aka having multiple affairs. He denied it to the day he died.) She was tremendously bitter about their divorce until the day she died.(30 something years after the event). She always thought that she'd be able to alienate us from our Dad- it backfired stupendously though. We actually came to understand why he left.

She blamed me for a huge phone bill at a time when I was only ever allowed access to the phone after 6pm. She accused me of being an 'alcoholic' because I had a couple of drinks at a party.

She was not a nice woman and the peace since she died has been wonderful.

I miss my Dad though. He was my no.1 fan.

I’m so sorry. What a selfish bastard. Are you still in contact with him now?

DM called me a bitch when I was 12 and said she wished everyone knew what I was really like. I'll never forget it.

Another one that my mother denies happening is her laughing with glee when telling my brother that my father had just hit me. I was about 14 at the time and it hurt so much that she took such delight in it.

I was told multiple times my mother wished I'd never been born.
When I finally disclosed SA at the hands of my dad she told everyone was lying (despite him writing a confession... she burnt it) and then told me "you and your father have ruined my life".

“I hope you have children like you you’ll get what you deserve”

except I do have children like me and they are so wonderful and so so easy to love. They made me realise I wasn’t the problem.

Oh so many things...

She said 'Go on cry let's see how much you hurt' (my ex was violent and I'd just split with him, thankfully)🤬
Your house must be crawling cos noones been in it - my friends have but she is scared of dogs, we have 4 of them, 2 are big guardian dogs and dogs are great judges of character so they would be sizing her up the whole time. Best not to upset my dogs.😁
Your DD needs to get a job and stop asking you for money (DD has just been taken off the red list ref suicide) she works for my company when she is well enough.
There's something wrong with you - all the stuff you're doing to your face - I have lost about 10kg so my double chin is almost gone 🥳 I have a facial every 4 weeks, Korean products and have just got into facial yoga so my face is changing but not due to botox, fillers etc 🙄.
She is so toxic even my old school friends have told me they were scared of her as children. 😱
I have many times not seen her. I had to drive 125miles to pick my dad up and take him for a meal so he could spend time once a month with me and the kids. He had a 5 valve bypass surgery and I had to visit him when she wasn't there!😤

We can't choose our family. I am blessed to have good friends.😍 I hope you too have good friends and your own family around you x

How wonderful ❤️

That no one likes me.
She only went to my wedding as she felt obliged.
I'm not clever enough.
I lied about my life threatening illness and treatment.

That's some of the stuff she's said to my face. The stuff behind my back is worse.

-I wish she’d just piss off.
-Oh Blueberrybandana you look like a girl for once! (Loudly in a full restaurant, I was 35)
-You've lost/put on weight (alternate and repeat at each visit)