Doesn’t ever work out with the OW

[Wishiwasjapanese]

Just that really. When your husbands have cheated and left you for the OW has it ever worked out?

I will continue with my opinions, you don't have to agree.

She absolutely was and the entire saga was a complete shitshow and very cruel to all three of them.

I sincerely hope that family has finally learned it's lesson.

It’s almost like a badge that they’re trying get ‘champion shagger’. One guy had settled down with his ex secretary and had kids (don’t think he knew what hit him - when he was drunk he said they been dating weeks and she was pregnant). He spends his time working his way around the office. I feel for his DP, but I wonder if she knows. His lifestyle is exactly as described - but he’s been seen around town with various women is compromising positions.

I don’t think he’s been faithful in their 19 years together. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Rife in these professional industries!

But don't most people think they're in love when they marry?

Please be quiet. You’re not learning anything from any responses and are just proving again and again you’re not that bright/thoughtful

It works out more often that not. Men are quite good at risk assessment when it comes to OW.

This.
I actually WISH my exH was still with the OW (lasted a poxy 5 years- nothing to our 20-odd), because I might feel less bitter about how he's dumped his kids and all the pieces I've had to pick up by him leaving for her.

We've been together 33 years here. We met, we had feelings but I told him nothing could happen unless he left his partner of 5 years. He was desperately unhappy with her.

He did leave her but she thought he was taking a break, housesitting for a friend and working on his latest book. I am still appalled at how this played out (and bitter that I got blamed and lost friends over it while he didn't).

She actually rang the night before our wedding to ask him to come back to her.

My ex H is still with the other woman 12 years later. They have a child and are now married.

Years ago I read similar.
And in real life I've only seen this once.

Once a cheat always a cheat

Most affairs never come to light before one of the partners files for divorce. The only 2 couples I know quite well that began the relationship while married to someone else, have very solid marriages to their OW/OP - they've been married for 20+ years.

I agree with this. It’s not always known.

I know a lot of long term marriages that started from affairs. Often, people marry the “wrong” person to start with, and then find the “right” one.

No one ever got dragged out of a happy marriage. 🤷‍♀️

I don't think anyone disputes that cheats might stay with their flings, the question imo is do they stay faithful and I bet in a lot/most cases the answer is no. Once they've experienced the thrill of a novelty shag it can be addictive.

Many do stay though because once they've gone through the expense and upheaval of divorce they are reluctant to repeat it and they have also learnt that the grass is not always greener.

That is obviously true.

However, some cheats cheat once and never again.

And some stay because they are happier.

Yes until they inevitably get bored and someone catches their eye.
They've just learnt from their previous mistakes and are better at not getting caught.

Nope. Not always. Despite you being desperate to think so.

With regards to the Karma question: you could say that it is good Karma for the person who is cheated on because a cheating lying bastard is removed from their life leaving them in peace.

I admit to knowing absolutely nothing about the real philosophy of Karma.

Wow
Do you know why?
I read this half a dozen times and still can't work out the time scale... surely this make him late 70's...
I hope he's got his 'memoirs' hidden somewhere...

I was technically the other woman. Although nothing ever happened until they had split. Husband refused to marry ex, was a general big grump and very selfish. We’re married with kids and I struggle to imagine him as anything but wonderful (has his faults don’t get me wrong, but nothing major)

this actually isn’t true. I cheated on my ex, I had accepted that was the type of person I was tbh. It makes me sick to even imagine cheating on my husband. I think there are 3 categories of people. People who would never ever cheat (my mum being one of them), people who’ll cheat no matter what and (and I think most fall into this one) people who will cheat if they aren’t with the right person

My best friend had an affair. She and her partner had been together for 15 years then got married. In reality she was pretty unhappy and instead of splitting, they got married. They both knew they weren't right together. No kids.

A year later she had a coup de foudre with someone else who was also married. They started an affair but she never told her by then husband. OM never told his wife but left one day and moved back to family. He had been deeply unhappy and his wife had become violent and there was an incident (long back story). Also no kids.

My BF split from her then husband and moved out into her own place. 6 months later her OM moved in.

25 years on, they are married and completely happy and still friends with ex-H. The ex-W has moved on too. Their original relationships were just wrong and their own relationship is just right. It's very very obvious.

She isn't delighted about the story but life can be messy and they came through it to the other side and a much happier, supportive and loving relationship.

Neither of them would ever cheat, they have no need to find anyone else as they are the complete package.

I like that message - so true
About 30 odd years ago my ex had a very short exit affair.
I was sad , as I was lonely and he looked like he was living the life ...
Even when I met and married someone who made me a 100 times happier
Eventually I dropped the bitterness, and it was then I realised I was actually choosing to be happy or not.