To ask what you do on nights when you don't have a glass of wine

[Stuffisperplexing]

I have a glass of wine every single night

Just one (or two)

But I think the reliance on it is unhealthy and I'd like to not drink for a bit

It doesn't help that I have anxiety and low mood and wine gives such a nice dopamine rush

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

I used to drink, (used to work pubs) I hardly drink now, if we are going to friends I usually take polish cordial (herbapol syrop) because they have really good flavors watermelon , chokeberry lemon , kiwi my favourite if ginger which works hot, cold fizzy water or lemonade.
I usually have 4/5 open flavours at home , so I don't get bored of one

I drink water/squash all day and treat myself to fizzy drinks in the evening - coke zero/fanta/irn bru. I'm pregnant so I've replaced my occasional glass of wine/prosecci with nozecco.

Me too! The allergy thing

I just don't drink alcohol .....its not an issue

I think if it were an issue and I craved it, I'd be worried about being an alcoholic

Mug of tea and a good book when I'm at home. The rest of the time, I'm out in the car so there's no way I'd have alcohol and by the time I get back home, I'm straight to bed.

You are drinking for the wrong reasons and it’s become a crutch. I don’t know what the solution is for you other than to stop altogether. Drinking because you’re scared of becoming anxious and depressed is how alcoholism starts, it’s only ironic that alcohol is a depressant.

I don’t drink at all neither does DH. We’re not alcoholics nor do we abstain for religious reasons. We’ve got one alcoholic parent each to thank in part for our decision to ditch the drink. The other reason is that mainly we do not see that it adds to our lives in any meaningful way. We don’t excessively eat either as a replacement. We just relax on an evening, and I sometimes do freelance work in the evenings on my laptop.

Well I've not had an alcoholic drink since 2013 due to migraine so I have tea, coffee, water, or now thanks to things moving up, a zero alcohol drink like a zero wine or zero g&t. I don't miss it at all.

I used to drink but no more. I would also add that my dad was an alcoholic and it really messes your life up. Anyone that 'needs' a drink might want to have a little life audit and think why that is. And have a plan to deal with it?

I never drink so find this a bizarre question 😆
I spend time with my child, cook, watch something on TV/YouTube, relax, have a bath, chat to friends.

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

I'm not teetotal but it absolutely blows my mind that some people sit and home and drink wine every single night. It would literally never even cross my mind to do this. We don't even keep wine in the house, we'd only get some in if people were coming round. Juice, tea and water all the way!

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

I don't normally comment on these threads as I'm teetotal but I just wanted to reassure you that that has nothing whatsoever to do with willpower or any worthy thing - I just don't like the taste of alcohol, never have. In my young days when I was drinking, I would get drunk (to fit in) because I was knocking it back as fast as I could to get rid of it. So ridiculous.

Anyway, kudos to you for recognising and making a change for yourself. I have to do that to with plenty of other crutches. Good luck to both of us!

A delicious hot chocolate.

I have cbd soft drinks or m&s lo/no alcohol drinks for when the urge hits!

Ribena. Not even joking. I have to hide it from the kids!

I think it’s the ritual of it. The pouring in to the glass, the first sip. Humans love ritual and routine - can you find yourself a can of sparkling water and a lovely glass? Or make a Seedlip alcohol free gin and tonic - with either make sure you have with a slice of lemon and ice?

something about the process of preparing a drink, like opening and pouring wine, helps it to feel like an indicator to your whole system that your work day is done + you can switch off

In terms of why... I think maybe because I don't really enjoy anything that much? I don't mean this to be as depressing as it inevitably sounds. But just sitting around existing kind of feels like a general negative even if I'm reading a book or watching TV or doing a hobby so I need to lightly take the edge off. Like everything is a big waiting room and a glass of wine is my sudoku. (Unsure why sudoku can't be my sudoku)

It isn't a huge quantity it's the fact that it feels almost like a big spoonful of Happy Medicine and that feels a bit unhealthy

And I wouldn't mind saving the £

I think a big risk is going to be overeating in compensation

Fancy fruit tea, get yourself a nice selection box

or fancy flavoured tonic like Fever Tree

I can take or leave alcohol and seldom have it in the house.

My own personal downfall is food Too much of it and the wrong kinds.

I do love a hot chocolate though, and have a machine with pods. It's better and frothier than what I could do.

I think that's a big part too

On evenings where I get to bedtime without having had time to have a glass I do find myself thinking oh that evening was just as fun as normal

Get a cuppa and some chocolate and snuggle watch Netflix , read a book , have a nice soak in the bath and some pampering or if I'm not exhausted and kids are settled might do a home work out. Sometimes put headphones in and dance about

Ironically I think of juice as really unhealthy and wouldn't tend to have it

I know I know

It isn't a huge quantity it's the fact that it feels almost like a big spoonful of Happy Medicine and that feels a bit unhealthy

Gently - it's a lot unhealthy

The wine itself might be causing the low mood and anxiety. That's what alcohol does to the brain - alters you chemically to create a need for itself.

You might find that after a while of no booze that your anxiety and low mood improve.

For me a cup of tea and a trashy TV show are a good replacement. Other people fine they crave the sugar the alcohol used to give them so there's always the biscuit option!

Good luck this sounds like a very healthy choice you're making

(I don't drink at all any more and life is much easier in general!)

I honestly don't think it is uncommon outside Anglo culture - in France I know wine isn't much different from water for a lot of families

I think I also associate abstinence with the control freakery of adults in my youth and wine feels like defiance against that

There are a lot of layers I guess

At risk of sounding completely tiresome and trite, it sounds like some mindfulness could be helpful for you, as you describe feeling like "just sitting around existing" is a general negative.

There's so much value in simply existing and doing nothing. There are whole philosophies based around it, in fact. Not saying you have to have some sort of epiphany moment and start becoming a zen master, but there really is a lot you can get out of enjoying non-productive times. Health benefits, too. It could be worth looking into, using your desire to ease up on drinking as a catalyst. I recommend Thich Nhat Hanh as a starting point if you've not already stopped reading 😄

I rarely drink alcohol (a handful of times a year, I will have the equivalent of one unit). I love the non-alcoholic drinks that are available, but again, I will only have those on rare occasions. I tend to just drink water or black coffee/tea/herbal teas. I lay off caffeine in the afternoons/evenings.

What do I do in the evenings? I watch films, or read a book, or catch up on housework. Normal stuff I guess!! I don't tend to go out (I work FT and am a single parent, so normally too knackered!), so I like to chill at home :)