To ask what you do on nights when you don't have a glass of wine

[Stuffisperplexing]

I have a glass of wine every single night

Just one (or two)

But I think the reliance on it is unhealthy and I'd like to not drink for a bit

It doesn't help that I have anxiety and low mood and wine gives such a nice dopamine rush

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

I do housework, or go for a run, or to the gym, or read, or watch tv or play a game with my husband, or have a nice bath.

Friday nights is my wine night, I look forward to opening a bottle and having a nice dinner/games night with my husband every week. Maybe do that instead OP? Choose one night to do it instead of every night?

That’s every night for me so I just live my normal life, watch tv, read, go for a walk, play with my kids, go to work, go to bed. I don’t need alcohol at any time to improve things.

If drink it, I’m sick for 3 days and I can’t be a good mother if I do that so it’s just normal for me to not have it.

Tea, coffee?

If I'm avoiding caffeine, hot ginger - I occasionally make my own ginger infusion, but bottle green and belvoir both make good ginger cordial.

Cold drinks - Kombucha - or find another soft drink brand that you enjoy
I like Dalstons.
In a nice glass or flute, I'll often have this type of drink if I'm eating out and driving.

I only drink 1-2 a month.

the rest of the time I drink decaf Diet Coke or cup of water in the evenings.

I like a CBD drink. The Trip ones. I have one of those in bed whilst I'm reading.
My husband and I have both stopped drinking as we were like you. Too easy to have one or two and if became habit. It'll take a few days/weeks to break the habit but you will definitely feel better. Sleep better. Look better!

The recent new stories of damage to women's livers in their 30s & 40s really worried me.

I drink tea once the kids have gone to bed and enjoy something good on telly for an hour then go up and read with my Trip drink.

I've been tee total for 18 months and can't say it's bothered me at all. I was never a drinker really so I've never experienced the reliance on wine as a relaxant. Plus if you have anxiety it will not be helping at all in reality. Switch it for soft drinks, you could even use a nice wine glass for the soft drink. If you cannot comfortably foresee an evening without wine it sounds like a dependency at best, addiction at worst. Well done for deciding to do something about it and very best of luck to you

Oh yeh Dalston's is so nice. And no sugar or artificial muck.

What do you do while having your wine? I probably do similar just without the wine!

I got into a bit of a routine of having wine over the Christmas period, but began to realise I was getting used to the slighlty sluggish and bloated feeling it was giving me so stopped. I haven't gone teetotal or started dry Jan or anything, just stopped the regular glasses of wine. I still do the same stuff though; watch a film, an episode of something, some journaling, a bath, some housework, whatever. Just without the wine.

I don’t see eating and drinking as an activity, or hobby, or something that occupies dead time. It’s something I do to be healthy, and sometimes if the meal or wine is really good I’ll relish it. But my life has things in it that take up space.

I think probably the boredom (ennui?) is what it is. Are you able to make small or even big changes? Hobbies, exercise, pet, friends, reading, listening ing to podcasts, something with your hands like knitting or crocheting or painting etc? Home projects?

I only drink at weekends and happily drink tea of an evening in winter or water/lime and soda in summer.

But... even though I don't drink a lot, I don't particularly enjoy sweet soft drinks and would love to find something cold that is as enjoyable to sip as wine.

My office always have a selection of non/low alcohol wines when we have drinks (in addition to alcohol) - some are dire, but generally they're a lot better than they used to be a few years ago.

Glad it's not just me that is totally swayed by a drink can taste very different if it's in a nice glass.

Bit like having tea in a cup rather than a disposable beaker I suppose.

Like pp have suggested, it’s best to get to the bottom of why you need to unwind with alcohol every night. And how it ties in with the anxiety/low mood. Otherwise you’re just putting a sticking plaster on with willpower, which never lasts.

I haven’t touched alcohol for two years.
I have a history of terrible anxiety. Lots of therapy, fitness, time in nature, etc have reduced my anxiety to nearly zero and I think the no alcohol also is a big factor in that. Even half a glass of wine would see me irritable and panicky the next day.
Honestly, giving up alcohol has been such a gift to myself (and everyone around me lol)

In the meantime, there’s a non-alcoholic drink called Sentia that is supposed to be amazing-it has some nootropics in it that are meant to give you something resembling that fuzzy feeling you get after a glass of wine. Might be worth checking out?

We barely drink so probably not the best to advise! Maybe once a month or so we will if DH gets a weekend off we’ll share a bottle on a Friday night.

Normally we put DC to bed then have a cup of tea and share some chocolate, it helps that I believe tea and Cadburys if the ultimate combo and chocolate and wine is 👎🏻

Like @TooManyChristmasCards I just don't drink.

Alcohol was never an 'event' growing up in my house, although I did have alcoholic aunts and uncles my parents didn't drink other than a snowball at Christmas or a cider at a BBQ.

Whilst I used to drink as a teen and young adult if I was going out, once I had DD I stopped and never drank when in sole responsibility of her which was 99% of the time until she was about 12. Now she's in her teens Ill occasionally get a bottle of wine if I buy a Dine in for 2 meal and she'll have a small glass with me during the meal but it's just a non-issue. I don't give it any thought and it never became a habit. Chocolate on the other hand....

I never have alcohol at home unless we're having some kind of a party. We just don't drink, it's that simple.

Well done you for stopping at the 1 glass!

I try diluted juice, or hot chocolate, but then tend to find myself going to bed at 8-8.30 to read. I try to have 3-4 nights of no wine, after getting Christmas and New Year out of the way (I am going to be seriously embarrassed putting the recycling out and expecting a pamphlet for the AA shoved through my door) I am going to try to keep it to a Friday & Saturday night.

I don't drink wine because I don't like it. But I very, very rarely drink anything alcoholic at home. I love drinking, and can down what would probably be considered an excessive amount when on a night out, but it just doesn't taste the same to me at home. I do go out quite a lot so it's probably a good thing I don't like drinking at home.

Tea Pigs are nice, especially in the autumn/winter, we have loads of different flavours. In the summer water from the sodastream with ice and slices of lemon/cucumber/soft fruit/whatever you fancy.

I was like this and now haven't drank alcohol for nearly a year. Initially I drank AF beer/ AF substitutes. After a month or so I moved on to eating chocolate but that had to stop! I now drink herbal teas, water or really anything. For me it was getting out of the habit.

My anxiety has been so much better since I stopped.

I don't really drink alcohol. Diet coke is nice and refreshing. But I tend to agree with those saying you need to address the underlying reason for feeling dependent on wine. That may not be easy. Perhaps look up some fun mocktail recipes in the meantime as a substitute or create a new ritual with crafting, reading whatever really.

Perrier water with sliced lemon in a nice glass? Then you have the ritual of pouring a drink without the alcohol (and calories).
Friday night is wine night then, and it becomes something to look forward to.

I go to bed and watch a film or read a book. I can't concentrate on those when I'm drinking. With either a nice cup of normal tea or a fruit tea.

I used to drink wine regularly but stopped several years ago. I drink herbal teas and water in the evening and read, watch something, knit/crochet or try to play an instrument (badly). We often play board and card games especially during weekends. Hard to play Twilight Struggle when drunk 😅, I would always go straight to Defcon 1 in a couple of turns.

I sleep much better and the overall health benefits are worth more for me than drinking so I only drink occasionally now.

I rarely drink, I just drink decaf tea all day and in the evenings. I used to drink a lot, I had a problem with alcohol throughout my late teens and 20s, then I stopped and I hardly touch it except for special occasions or nights out. I don't tend to drink wine though as it's lethal. It makes me really nasty drunk and gives me blackouts.

the Chocolate!
so pleased with myself - I bought a smallish box of chocolates (supermarket post Christmas half price reductions, rude not to) - A week later and I've only eaten about 2/3 of them.