To ask what you do on nights when you don't have a glass of wine

[Stuffisperplexing]

I have a glass of wine every single night

Just one (or two)

But I think the reliance on it is unhealthy and I'd like to not drink for a bit

It doesn't help that I have anxiety and low mood and wine gives such a nice dopamine rush

It sort of blows my mind that some people don't drink it at all - I'm quite envious of the self reliance

https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/red-wine-benefits-linked-to-better-gut-health-study-finds

Similar evidence for champagne

That sounds perfect relationship with alcohol, that you can take it or leave it

I discovered 0% beer a few years ago and it's been a game changer for me. This Christmas I also discovered 0% Guinness which is enjoyable to drink in its own right. Non alcoholic gin and tonic is nice too. In answer to your question about replacing a glass of wine specifically - i sometimes have a single alcoholic drink e.g. a sherry or g&t and have that with my food along with water, then move on to tea or coffee - so not 0 alcohol but there's no bottle open so no temptation to have a second glass or see the semi drunk bottle the next night and think, better not waste that!

My OH works in the wine industry so we have (very good!) wine in the house all the time.
I have cut down massively, and basically live off squash. In the evenings, I’ll have a peppermint tea which helps me unwind before bed.
I heard that if you can make it to 7pm without having a drink, then you’ll unlikely want to drink after. I was finding I was having an alcoholic drink around 5:30pm straight in from work most nights but if I didn’t bother, I usually managed to abstain for the whole evening. Wine really helps me relax, and definitely relate to the dopamine hit.

Ah nice! It's from the mint family so it grows like crazy though it isn't as invasively rooty as mint, so easier to control should you want to. I'll get some growing this year.

When it's fresh use double the amount. Dried herbs being very much shrunk, though fresh is better - more potent.

I just went looking for harvesting tips for you. Best to harvest just before it blossoms. If you like it, you can dry some out for Winter use.

You can use it for cooking too or add to salad.

There are more tips on harvesting on the following link & also a sun tea recipe. It also mentions that it's protective for the heart & against cardiovascular illness, which i didn't know:

senchateabar.com/blogs/blog/how-to-make-lemon-balm-tea?srsltid=AfmBOorRWL3_9m-Hbilh0Om5rVw9krRaperSc-KYwvtizVQ7M59N0YLc

Frankly, I can't understand how people "need" to routinely drink, as in nightly glass or two of wine? Like, why?

I drink hot drinks and water.

The last sentence was ample.

I don’t understand the need to constantly criticise people for their life choices…like why?

My comment was hardly a mean girl comment. I just don’t understand. Anyway, who made you the MN police?

I gave up alcohol last year after doing Dry January, only broke it this New Year's Day and realised I didn't miss it at all.

I drink water, occasionally if it's really cold, I'll have a hot chocolate. During the day it's water, cordial or coke zero. I tend to stick to water after 6pm.

No one! I didn’t say it was a mean girl comment, I just said why do people feel the need to criticise life choices. The OP was asking for advice not criticism.

whatever you say…

I liked a glass of wine every night while making dinner. I think because I don't really enjoy cooking and it made it more fun 😄 But now that my partner and son do most of the cooking my alcohol consumption has reduced dramatically! It was just a habit with me, something I associated with boring cooking! I still like to make the Sunday roast though..and of course have a glass of Merlot while doing it!

I'm basically tee-total. I shared a single bottle of wine with my mum over a couple of days of Christmas, and that's very likely me done with alcohol until I go on a cruise in April.

I understand the "just want something nice to sip" that a glass of wine gives. Instead I'd do a hot chocolate or a cuppa soup. Something you can "nurse" than takes a little while to get through. Or one of the higher-end brands of squash, served in a fancy glass with a fruit garnish on the side?

I actually think it's similar for me. I don't mind cooking but it drags on a bit.

There was a really interesting documentary (panorama I think) about how the profile of those with liver savage is no longer old men….its now likely younger successful women. apparently this is down to the changes in how the alcohol industry targeted its market around end of 80’s / early 90’s due to women attending raves. Someone cotton on that there was money to be made targeting women….. so alcoholic drinks were made rand marketed very successfully to young women / girls. Those debates are now in their 40’s / 50’s and many have unknown liver issues as the drinking habit were formed young and associated with feeling good…eg ‘wine o clock” . Program is worth a watch. Quite eye opening. What was shocking is how little drink is considered binge drinking and damaging to health. It’s called ‘binge drinking and me’ and us still on the catch up app.

Have a cup of tea or a cold soft drink (I like lime cordial and sparking water or soda) or water. I only have wine with food these days. It's quite strong stuff really to have as a regular drink on its own.

You could try grape Juice in a wine glass or non alcohol wine. Is it just the thought of a nice relaxing evening makes you reach for the wine or do you actually feel it helps with your mood drinking it? Try alternatives or only drinking on certain nights, not every night & see how you feel then.

I do agree with @Supergirl1958 . OP, wasn't asking for a therapy session.

@2024CUNEXTTUESDAY I've just tried the TRIP Peach CBD - no idea why I bought it as I hate sweet drinks - but it was fantastic. I've just discovered Kombucha in the last few months, so between them, I should manage to not slip back into having an odd one!

7 years sober here.
On a night out I will have either a soft drink or 0% lager or Cider.
At home, it is usually juice, diet coke, irn bru or water.
Hot drinks I'll have tea or a hot chocolate.
On an evening I will spend time with family/friends, go out for dinner/cinema/theatre or read or go to the gym/play Badminton. I like watching films/series too. Sometimes I'll go for a walk with an audiobook playing.
I love that feeling of having a clear head and I love my sober life.

Drink water..

Konbuca has been hit and miss for me. I’ve had some lovely ones and some rank ones! I agree trip isn’t too sweet. They’re 45% off atm so I’m gong to stock up!

I only have a drink at the weekend OP. In the week it's water or peppermint tea. Health reasons mainly, and honestly my skin, sleep etc all a lot better.

If I'm out it's 0% Guinness or Beer in the week.

Let my hair down a bit on a Saturday

It’s called “Drink Control” but there are prob lots of similar ones.

I honestly think a lot of it is habit OP. These days I try to have a ‘healthy’ tea such as fresh ginger with rose and camomile flowers instead but if I’m feeling lazy it’s just a decaf teabag. The less I drink the less I crave alcohol; I’m now at a point where I don’t miss it at all.