International Women’s Day

[SeAmableSiempre]

My friend organises an International Women’s Day event every year. I attended once 5 yrs ago and spent the day cringing inside whilst women stood at a lectern telling their hard done by stories, their successes in life ‘as a woman’, their hardships, tragedies and traumas whilst onlookers cried into their tissues and patted each other on the backs.
My friend persistently asks me to attend and for the past 4 yrs I’ve declined. I don’t feel the need to attend an event to fight for my rights as a woman, I don’t need constant praise, I don’t need someone on a podium implying I need to fight for my dignity, and I don’t need a day in a room full of women focusing on feeling hard done by because of their gender. I personally feel that ‘fighting’ to be recognised for our strengths as women diminishes how great we are. We have many skills that men do not have, and men have many skills that women do not have, we are individual and unique, in a partnership, in the workplace or in the home, we all have strengths and weaknesses regardless of gender.
The bottom line is I love being a woman, and I haven’t experienced any barriers in life, at home or in the workplace. I love that my husband looks after me and sees me as a woman. I love that he appreciates my femininity.

I don’t want or care to fix the dishwasher if it breaks, I don’t want to change the oil filter on my car, and there’s many other tasks I’m not interested in that my husband automatically takes care of. And yes, I’m wonderfully happy taking care of the laundry, washing the floor and cleaning the bathroom, I definitely don’t feel put upon or disrespected because we are a partnership using our own strengths within a solid relationship.
My friend turned up this morning asking me to buy a ticket for her event, literally pushing the ticket at me, and when I said I wouldn’t be coming she got quite cross with me saying I should be fighting for my rights and gender and supporting other women.
I’ve probably not explained this very well, and it might sound a bit like I’m saying ‘bugger you Jack I’m alright’, but that’s not what I mean. I simply can’t support a cause or a friend who implies that I need to fight for something when I don’t. AIBU?

Call it sex or gender: I don’t have any “skills” linked to either.

It’s revolting, but the OP does seem to hate women, she has other threads talking about her husband’s ex in the most alarming terms. It’s a wonder darling perfect oil filling husband could make such a colossal misjudgment! Maybe she wasn’t feminine enough and sat with her legs apart?

Well my job is to make people more aware of women’s health and its challenges so please do wing any event info my way people!

Unfortunately my mum didn't managed to escape her abusive relationship.

Women who do should be applauded not sneered at.

Thank you. I’m getting a lot of negativity on here simply because readers are not understanding that my post is about my friend pressurising me. Someone even said that I obviously hate her which is ludicrous.

Your OP isn't about not wanting to go to an event. Your OP and subsequent posts are about how superior you are to hairy legged, feminists with a chip on their shoulder. You also made disparaging comments about women being upset.

If you don't want to go to an event OP, tell your friend you'd rather not go. It's as simple as dusting the skirting boards.

So tell me, how do we fight for women in Afghanistan? I really would like to hear some suggestions or answers from you????
Do you really think that anything we do in the UK on IWD will make one modicum of difference to the dreadful treatment of women in Muslim countries… or are you planning on going to Afghanistan to hold your very own IWD? Well good luck with that because you would be tortured and killed if you so much as suggested it. Get real and wake up, because we can do absolutely NOTHING for these poor women in Muslim countries. You’re living in cloud cuckoo land

Oh you're right. I'll stay home and wash the curtains instead

Oh give over OP. You’re getting negativity because of your sneery attitude and things you’ve said including:

spent the day cringing inside whilst women stood at a lectern telling their hard done by stories

can I ask OP how you’d feel if someone said “CRINGE!” if you told them about your sexual assault?

the attendees will be talking and crying about how they escaped their abusive relationships

you said this in response to why women should apparently focus only on what’s happening in Muslim countries where “real” oppression happens (you’re on of those people clearly)

They will single themselves out to be different whilst they spout about wanting to be equal . It’s contradictory.

Good grief how have you reached the age of almost 70 and still not get it. You sound like - particularly dim Nigel Farage.

Going back to the atrocities to women in other countries, it’s horrific, and WE CAN DO NOTHING, they are under Muslim rule

No we cannot DO NOTHING and it’s not just about Muslim countries, at all

other women will not carry me as you say, I do not need them to fight for my rights because I am already treated with dignity and respect

By your husband because you cook and clean and <checks notes> wash the floor(?!) with glee while he gets away with oil changing and you say “aren’t we a good team!” No wonder he’s delighted he’s married the biggest Pick Me going who sympathises with another man because he isn’t top dog in the house and his wife asserts her boundaries

To answer your question regarding my GP… If I have a health issue I research the symptoms before going to my GP so we can discuss them rather than me going in with a complaint.

Right, so the fact (and it is a fact) that women are persistently fobbed off and belittled is because they don’t smile sweetly and kiss the doctor’s arse. Have you told the research academics about this?? Because they have spent their lives doing VERY detailed forensic research to show it’s actually sexism in the medical community. You need to tell them that women just need to be polite!!

face it OP - you were looking for a viral moment where the women on here went “I feel the same, we ARE equal these feminists are sooooo annoying”. I LOVE it when people come onto MN thinking we are gonna all be silly half wit Stepford types who just want to do dishes and put their hair in a ribbon for their husband. But they come on and have their arse handed to them by women who are smarter than them, don’t stand for sexist bullshit and are happy to call out this nonsense.

It’s not about your friend. So don’t play the victim now. You wanted other women to read and prise your mindset. Ironic really - not that long ago you wouldn’t have been allowed to read. Who do you think sorted that one out for you? Certainly wasn’t the men you adore so much.

TBH there’s a lot going on - but why should anyone tell you about it? You don’t give a shit about women in Afghanistan. But I did actually post earlier about how these events do benefit women’s individual lives, did you miss it?

Also Google is your friend.

But I’ll tell you what isn’t the solution for these women in Afghanistan - smiling sweetly, being feminine and washing floors.

Why do you think only Muslim women experience oppression? You don’t think there’s ANY oppression of women and girls happening in the UK?

I find it most amusing that OP swings between “These events do nothing to help women, not that there’s anything to help, I’m fine so others must be!” and “We can DO NOTHING for oppressed women” but also posted this on another thread yesterday:

There is a phrase… ‘Do what you’ve always done, and you’ll get what you always got’.
Continue in the same pattern and nothing will change.

Unless OP meant “unless your talking about women’s rights”?

Thank you. I’m getting a lot of negativity on here simply because readers are not understanding that my post is about my friend pressurising me. Someone even said that I obviously hate her which is ludicrous.

No you're not.
You're getting a lot of negativity because you've said some pretty offensive things.

I was particularly offended by your comment about women crying about leaving abusive relationships. My mum was killed by her abusive partner. I guess you'd probably say it was her fault or that she had a chip on her shoulder.

So sorry to hear about your mum I’m aghast the OP at nearly 70 hasn’t realised that smiling and being feminine does nothing to stop the 2 women a week killed by their partner in the UK.

@ShesNotACowShesAFox thank you.

I agree. I can't believe someone is that clueless or insensitive

I have to say with the blatant internalised misogyny and clear hatred for her friend, I’m surprise OP has actually retained a friendship with this woman who is clearly a big figure in the feminist community if she organises IWD off her own back. What on earth must they talk about?!

Thankfully women like OP are in the minority. There are many of us who fully embrace these events and make waves to make positive changes, myself included

👏👏👏👏

Thankfully women like OP are in the minority. There are many of us who fully embrace these events and make waves to make positive changes, myself included
❤️

The thing is, the OP doesn't have to go to any events but there is no reason for her to insult other women in the way she had.

That is exactly the point. Nobody cares what OP does or thinks.
Dissing women who support other women is a dick move

Protest is worth doing.

"Thank you. I’m getting a lot of negativity on here simply because readers are not understanding that my post is about my friend pressurising me. Someone even said that I obviously hate her which is ludicrous."

Oh we understand you OP. We see you more clearly than you see yourself. If your post had been about feeling pressured to attend an event you'd probably have received advice on how to push back. Instead, you got roasted because you sneered at women who attend these events, and who feel empowered by them.

So by OP's own reasoning, when that guy grabbed her ass, it must have been because she wasn't submissive enough, nice enough, didn't smile enough, whatever. After all, men only disrespect women because they have "a chip on their shoulder" according to her. She's on record saying it repeatedly.
That much cognitive dissonance would drive me insane.

Yep, that and blaming women for the way they are treated by men. Pick-mes are insufferable.

IKR. Fuck a bunch of some self-centred -insult redacted- rationalizing not giving a shit about others.

Must be because she had an off day and forgot to smile. OP claims men only mistreat women for not being pleasant enough. Funny that reasoning only applies to other women, innit.