Help settle something - did we offer something weird?

[Lwrenn]

DP and I and our kids have come to BiL and SiLs for lunch with our brood of kids. Anyway earlier SiL needed a few bits so mr Lwrenn and I popped up the shop for them, leaving our kids with BiL for convenience. They said take our time and go for a coffee in the Starbucks because we never get time alone. Anyway the shop next door to the supermarket is closing down so we went in for a wee mooch, it’s sells everything from furniture to plants. A couple had bought a big piece of furniture and DP helped the man carry it out of the store to his car. Anyway this man’s wife kept scowling at us, but her husband was very nice. I am quite friendly but I didn’t want to ask her anything too personal in case Christmas was a tough time so I just complemented her new sideboard and she ignored me. I didn’t continue the chat. Just did that awkward British smile and shut up. Anyway their new sideboard was not in a box or wrapped etc it was a sold as seen display piece. Had they have fought to fit it in their car it would have got wrecked even if it would have fit. We have a much bigger boot so DP said to the couple that we’d stick it in our car, quickly grab a few bits from the shop and then we’d follow them back to deliver it, not a problem. Anyway the guy was lovely about it, asked if we wanted some petrol money and DP said not at all and was about to pick up the sideboard and walk it to our car when the wife refused his offer. Said absolutely not, didn’t thank Dp or say anything just she was going to get someone else. She was rude as hell to my DP and I felt quite bad for her husband. Anyway we went the shop and got our bits and they were still stood by their car with the sideboard, I presume waiting for someone else with a bigger car. Anyway, We’ve just got back to sil and BiL (with might I add lots of bargains from the supermarket for us) and SiL thinks I should have loudly said the lady was rude or something. I wished her husband a happy new year and not her directly which I felt was enough. (Savage as I get these days) but BiL said it was weird of DP to even suggest it. Thinks the wife was scared we’d pinch the sideboard.
So was the offer we made weird or the wife’s refusal weird?

weird wife - yanbu
weird us - yabu

I think it was lovely of you both to offer. To be honest the weird thing is that they bought a sideboard that clearly wouldn't fit in their car. The wife sounds incredibly rude as well.

@Lwrenn You sound lovely OP! Offering to drive their sideboard was ott but definitely kind and I would have declined so as to not take advantage of your kindness but I would have been greatful for the offer. If kindness and generosity is weird than go ahead and be weird, we need more of you in the world! 💚

Think you were both being lovely!!!
We’re off to Ikea at Lakeside next week any help much appreciated @Lwrenn and dh

I'm going to guess that you're from the North and are visiting in laws further south 😁

Oooo 😳
you might have started a detail there 🥴

Might just quietly back away now 😁

I think it depends where you are from tbh. Us Welsh wouldn't think that anything was untoward in offering or accepting help!

I’m sorry but you were weird to offer.

I’d have thought it was a bit much for strangers to go to this effort and possibly been a bit suspicious but the wife sounds like a miserable sod - probably her dh has dragged her to the sales on New Year’s Day - enough to send anyone into the depths of a depression!

Really? It’s weird to offer help to someone who is visibly struggling to manage a heavy object?

Would you help someone put out a fire that endangered their safety or help them find a lost child? Or would that be weird?

Jeez: I thought I was pretty sharp elbowed but I am shocked at how self interested and suspicious people are.

Well, the whole scenario is weird to be honest. I think the weird bit of your offer was 'we'll put it in our car and continue with our shopping...' That could be any amount of time! Then following you back to their house with it - yeah, what's to say you wouldn't drive off with it? Maybe you were thinking one of them could go in your car too to make sure you don't nick it. But I would feel weird being in a strangers car.
Sounds like she was sus of you from the get go, hence she was rude to you. So I guess once you were going to put their stuff in your car it made her sure you were up to something dodgy.

I think it depends what area you are in. Some areas of the country are more friendly and helpful than others.

Well you might be weird, but you sound marvellous, and I want to be your friend.
I am however very weird 😂😂

I’ve done very similar when I drove a van, never crossed my mind that people would find it weird. I do wonder how some people manage with such a cynical view of the world. I find it really sad.

I completely agree. The idea that offering to help strangers is a faux pas or a red flag is really quite disturbing.

I have lived in London most of my life and consider myself to be fairly worldly and cynical but this mindset seems paranoid.

Who hangs around in suburban car parks waiting to nick furniture off unsuspecting shoppers? Some people must struggle with ordinary day to day interactions with this state of mind.

I can't remember the exact circumstances now, but my husband (a tradesman) was working on a house renovation and a very nice woman arrived to pick up a cooker which had been uninstalled during the renovation. She said the homeowner was her son and he was giving her the cooker because he was getting a new one. She couldn't get it in her truck, so my husband took it to her house in his van, for which she was very grateful. It turned out she was the homeowner's mother, but he had not given the cooker to her. She stole it, unwittingly aided by my husband. My husband doesn't do good deeds for strangers anymore...

I'm surprised at most of these responses, can't you do anyone a favour these days?

I'd have taken you up on your offer OP and been very happy about it too

I thought you were going to say your DP had accidentally broken it!

It's a funny one, she was a bit rude but equally offering to go so out of your way for complete strangers is pretty odd.

Liability. What if the item was damaged in the car or afterwards, or it scratched the interior of the car, or what if the item was mishandled causing either party to injure their back leading to loss of income.

Why I don't go near such offers.

But then have been burnt by having friends help with a house move rather than professionals.

They've been scammed like this before. The reason they had to buy a new sideboard was because the gullible husband ended up locked inside the last one because a random guy bet him he couldn't even fit in it. Then all their stuff got nicked...

Hockey stick through the handles?

Absolutely! 😁

Many, many years ago, some acquaintances offered to help me transport something unwieldy to my home. It was so kind of them that it would have been terribly rude to decline. So I accepted.

However, I knew that the favour would involve them coming into my house. I travelled with them but knew that I'd had some post that morning which included pornographic mags that I hadn't ordered. I'd opened the post the left it on the dining table in bafflement. I'd gone out to work and not been home since.

So the two acquaintances were about to come into my home and see porn mags on a table as bold as brass. There was nothing I could do about it.

Given the benefit of hindsight, I'd have declined the favour to spare my blushes at having to give a ridiculous and implausible explanation for the porn.

Perhaps sideboard lady was in a similar predicament.

Kind offer. I understand why they said no. No one was weird.

I dont see the issue!

You offered and all it would take was you and her to go have a mooch while him and him take it back to theirs and come back for you.

Bit of a faff for you but a kind gesture. Less faff for them than hanging around waiting for someone else to be put out by leaving their house, loading it up etc.

Sounds like she was in a foul mood and you got the full force of it. They are probably having a row about it as we speak.