Help settle something - did we offer something weird?

[Lwrenn]

DP and I and our kids have come to BiL and SiLs for lunch with our brood of kids. Anyway earlier SiL needed a few bits so mr Lwrenn and I popped up the shop for them, leaving our kids with BiL for convenience. They said take our time and go for a coffee in the Starbucks because we never get time alone. Anyway the shop next door to the supermarket is closing down so we went in for a wee mooch, it’s sells everything from furniture to plants. A couple had bought a big piece of furniture and DP helped the man carry it out of the store to his car. Anyway this man’s wife kept scowling at us, but her husband was very nice. I am quite friendly but I didn’t want to ask her anything too personal in case Christmas was a tough time so I just complemented her new sideboard and she ignored me. I didn’t continue the chat. Just did that awkward British smile and shut up. Anyway their new sideboard was not in a box or wrapped etc it was a sold as seen display piece. Had they have fought to fit it in their car it would have got wrecked even if it would have fit. We have a much bigger boot so DP said to the couple that we’d stick it in our car, quickly grab a few bits from the shop and then we’d follow them back to deliver it, not a problem. Anyway the guy was lovely about it, asked if we wanted some petrol money and DP said not at all and was about to pick up the sideboard and walk it to our car when the wife refused his offer. Said absolutely not, didn’t thank Dp or say anything just she was going to get someone else. She was rude as hell to my DP and I felt quite bad for her husband. Anyway we went the shop and got our bits and they were still stood by their car with the sideboard, I presume waiting for someone else with a bigger car. Anyway, We’ve just got back to sil and BiL (with might I add lots of bargains from the supermarket for us) and SiL thinks I should have loudly said the lady was rude or something. I wished her husband a happy new year and not her directly which I felt was enough. (Savage as I get these days) but BiL said it was weird of DP to even suggest it. Thinks the wife was scared we’d pinch the sideboard.
So was the offer we made weird or the wife’s refusal weird?

weird wife - yanbu
weird us - yabu

I think it’s normal - where I live it would happen but not every area is friendly. I have made friends from accepting help and offering it - you are the kind of people we all need more of in our lives.

It was very nice of you to offer, but I imagine she was thinking of scenarios like you disappear with the side board, you suddenly ask for lots of money, the side board gets damaged in transit and what would happen about that. So she's having all of these thoughts, while perhaps being cross that her husband is going along with it willy nilly.

OP, this would be a totally normal, kind hearted gesture where I come from. I didn’t grow up in the UK, so realise my opinion isn’t “the norm” but I’m genuinely astonished at how many people think this was weird. I think you and your DH are lovely, and that the wife was incredibly rude.

You should have said to the wife:

'Just jump in the boot luv, and hold onto the sideboard, then you know we won't steal it!'

Followed up with:
'And we aren't serial killers either' 😆

She was rude AF. I'm rural cornwall & honestly this kind of random help is kinda normal here, most ppl I know have driven total strangers around cos their car broke down or they missed a bus or can't get a taxi. Ferrying furniture is a standard request on fb pages & offering help on the spot somewhere might be met with a 'ah don't worry, going to ring X person to come help' but not outright rudeness!

It’s the kind of thing i’d have offered, but guess some people are more suspicious but don’t think its outrageous to offer. Just a nice friendly gesture

No, follow it up with "let me just move the dead body onto the roof rack first".

If the wife didn't want the sideboard then you'd have been doing her a favour stealing it.

You did a kind thing and offered to help.

There no point saying something mean.

unless it was a local delivery (OP's DP might have asked first) then yeah its weird. Husband could have got in the car with DP if he was so friendly and glad for the free delivery just so he knew it got to the destination.

I can understand someone being sceptical of accepting a stranger taking their item to deliver it but sounds like this woman wasnt even happy with help to move the item to the car. Either she had taken against you both for some reason or she was already annoyed about something and this was really nothing to do with you.

We live in a strange world, where, in one place, the worst of humanity is on display, while, just along the street, kindness and compassion abound. Some people are kind, open and trusting, while others are misanthropic, reserved and suspicious. In this instance, it sounds like both were on display. Don't try to overanalyse or get upset about what happened. Just accept the situation for what it was.

It was an incredibly kind offer, but I don't think it was weird.

I've been in the position of trying to wrestle large items into my car on many occasions and would have loved somebody to make that kind offer.

It would never have crossed my mind that somebody would go to all that trouble to steal an ex-display sideboard!

That's madness.

Also, the woman was bad tempered even before your husband offered to deliver it for them.

No idea what her problem could be.

All she needed to do was ask if she could come in your car with it..

Hardly going to kidnap her even if @Lwrenn was on the nick!

I think that's lovely, I really do. I also feel that such kindness towards others is more offered, and accepted, in smaller rural communities, at least, that's been my observation for many years.
The larger the city, often there is more mistrust of strangers offering to do something that the offeree wouldn't dream of offering others themselves.
It's the result of a tighter community and spirit, as opposed to people not knowing, or wanting to know their neighbours, looking out for themselves and not entirely trusting of strangers offering too good to be true, offers.
However, there are exceptions in every case as MN tends to prove.
I too think the woman with the furniture was annoyed with her husband when OP and her DP involved themselves. I imagine she's still annoyed!

See, if you're Scottish then this is completely normal.

This is a bloke thing, in DIY store I've seen men give each other a hand loading stuff into cars and a man in a van offer to drop it home if it doesn't fit. (In the case of Mr Pinkrawbit, the van driver did exactly that and dropped it to his home, it was a few sheets of plasterboard.

I wouldn't have allowed you to either, in case you'd damaged it or drove off. But I wouldn't have been rude.

Where is this shop so full of desirable sideboards? (misses point of thread entirely)

I would have most likely declined, but politely and graciously. I’m quite security sensitive but wouldn’t dream of being rude to someone being so kind!

I think your DH sounds lovely.

When at university, I bought a flatpack bookshelf from Argos. Didn’t really think about how I was going to get it home: I didn’t have a car. Waddled it out of the shop and cursed myself for being such a tit. Anyway, a lovely lady saw me struggle, asked me if I needed help and then offered to run me home with my purchase (about 12 minutes in the car) I always remember her kindness and try to pay it forward.

Last week I saw a mum with a small boy miss a bus as I was pulling out of my road on my way to town (I now have a car!) so I gave them a lift to the bus station. It was cold and wet and I had a spare five minutes. They would have had to wait 20 for the next bus.

It’s nice to be nice. 😊

A bit weird.

The woman was scowling at OP before they'd offered to put it in their car though

I would think you were a weirdo trying to steal my stuff. You sound a bit over helpful and wouldn't take no for an answer and the other person eventually had to put their foot down.

Find the lady in the OP. She has loads.