Help settle something - did we offer something weird?

[Lwrenn]

DP and I and our kids have come to BiL and SiLs for lunch with our brood of kids. Anyway earlier SiL needed a few bits so mr Lwrenn and I popped up the shop for them, leaving our kids with BiL for convenience. They said take our time and go for a coffee in the Starbucks because we never get time alone. Anyway the shop next door to the supermarket is closing down so we went in for a wee mooch, it’s sells everything from furniture to plants. A couple had bought a big piece of furniture and DP helped the man carry it out of the store to his car. Anyway this man’s wife kept scowling at us, but her husband was very nice. I am quite friendly but I didn’t want to ask her anything too personal in case Christmas was a tough time so I just complemented her new sideboard and she ignored me. I didn’t continue the chat. Just did that awkward British smile and shut up. Anyway their new sideboard was not in a box or wrapped etc it was a sold as seen display piece. Had they have fought to fit it in their car it would have got wrecked even if it would have fit. We have a much bigger boot so DP said to the couple that we’d stick it in our car, quickly grab a few bits from the shop and then we’d follow them back to deliver it, not a problem. Anyway the guy was lovely about it, asked if we wanted some petrol money and DP said not at all and was about to pick up the sideboard and walk it to our car when the wife refused his offer. Said absolutely not, didn’t thank Dp or say anything just she was going to get someone else. She was rude as hell to my DP and I felt quite bad for her husband. Anyway we went the shop and got our bits and they were still stood by their car with the sideboard, I presume waiting for someone else with a bigger car. Anyway, We’ve just got back to sil and BiL (with might I add lots of bargains from the supermarket for us) and SiL thinks I should have loudly said the lady was rude or something. I wished her husband a happy new year and not her directly which I felt was enough. (Savage as I get these days) but BiL said it was weird of DP to even suggest it. Thinks the wife was scared we’d pinch the sideboard.
So was the offer we made weird or the wife’s refusal weird?

weird wife - yanbu
weird us - yabu

Nought as strange as folk!

I would have been so grateful for your kind offer. Unless you give off a certain vibe that most street smart adults would be able to pick up on, the wife was being the weird one in this scenario. Not you.

@alwsysri

Where’s the eye roll reaction when you need one.

Go on then: if you can be bothered to post something snarky at least explain why? Money where mouth is etc.

Well it’s settled we were weird. We usually are so it’s not a surprise!
BiL just informed us DP looks untrustworthy at the best of times 😂

Off to eat more bargain pate and party food, have a lovely day everyone!

Maybe she didnt like the sideboard, didnt want to buy it and had been badgered into the purchase and moving it by a problematic DH who wouldnt be gainsayed.
She could minimising the conflict with him over the item, as she knew it wouldn't fit in their car anyway, so he would have to bring it back into the shop and abandon the idea.
And your lovely offer spoiled her plan of getting out of having an ex display sideboard in a colour she didnt like foisted on her by her DH, because it was cheap.

I did similar yonks ago with a very chap in homebase car park. He had bought a circular toughened glass patio table in the sale. It was about 4cm too wide to get in his car. I had a Fiat multipla, the ugliest car known to man but was like a van. I watched him for a bit, asked him if he would like to put it in my car, but the difference is, I offered him to come with, with his wife driving their car. It was a good deed.
You can only offer but some people
assume you are after something.

I imagine she was hoping for
"oh no Darling, it won't fit. Better take it back inside and ask for a refund"

I thought you made a nice offer 😅 but my first thought was maybe she didn't want you knowing where they live?

🙄

I once bought something in a garden centre that wouldn't fit in my car. A kind couple with a van drove it to my parents house for me. Very kind of them and not at all weird.

I think you sound like lovely people and we need more of them in society.

I come from a Latin culture where not offering would be unthinkable, but I've also lived in UK long enough to explicitly suggest that one of them rode in the car with me.

Aww, I think it was a really lovely offer. I'd have been most grateful and not weirded out in the slightest.

No offence, but some (not all) Mumsnetters will have found it strange, as their people skills aren't always the best.

You clearly don’t live in rural Ireland where offering to take the piece back for them would have been viewed as completely normal and acceptable. 😂

I think it's more a reflection on the world we now live in, that strangers offering a good deed could be viewed with suspicion.

I'd rather have met you than the couple who sat laughing watching me fit a real potted tree into my small car last week though!

where i live this would be completely normal (your husband’s offer). Dont stress about it. Just be glad you have such a lovely partner!

Oh Lordy I am guilty of 2 of the ‘weird’ actions on this thread. I took wood home to a chaps house for him because it would not fit in his car and I had a trailer on and I gave away an expensive bottle of perfume because someone really liked it and it smelt horrrible on me. No ulterior motives 😂

We would probably have done similar but I can understand why some people would be wary these days.

You both sound lovely and I would have taken you up on your offer, but some people are worried that they are being scammed but the wife shouldn't have been rude to you.

She wasn’t fooled by your smiles and saw through to your stripy costume, black mask and sack marked SWAG.

I would have felt this was a tad misogynistic tbh. Oh the poor weak woman can’t carry the furniture.

And then I would have suspected you were trying to pinch it.

But I do suspect the worst most of the time and have a lot of shit going on so maybe less inclined to see genuine kindness.

She sounds absolutely riddled with issues. Hint, it wasn't you OP.
I would have taken up your kind offer gladly and given you a tenner for petrol. Job done, you were just being kind and some people can't receive kindness because they're weird

I think certain types would see this as involving yourself in a furniture delivery on New Year’s Day or New Year’s Eve day even is a bit odd. It suggests you aren’t prioritising your own friends and family and rare alone time. It sort of looks like you don’t value your own lives.

This isn’t a situation that requires your charity, they’re presumably a middle class couple buying a nice new sideboard.

It’s not an emergency situation like an old lady stranded with a flat tyre.

If there’d have been an accident with the sideboard getting it into their car then what ? Or what if you’d damaged it delivering it ?

You and your DH sound lovely and kind. When I think of all the decent men I know, they would have all offered to do this.

His wife was an uptight misery. I agree with your SIL. I might have just put my hands in the air and said ‘ok ok, no problem, we were just trying to help, it’s a lovely sideboard, you have a Happy New Year, Cheerio!’