Am I being too sensitive or would this bother you?

[Privateeye34]

My boyfriend of 1 year and I went to a little family gathering last night for the new year. I’m nervous of dogs and the dog kept coming over and sniffing round me (as dogs do). I said to my boyfriend about it and he said “that dog knows a bitch when he smells one”
??

That would bother me. What a nasty thing to say!

What a horrible comment. You are not being too sensitive, he was astonishingly rude and unkind. I would dump him for that.

Ummm yeah, no. I would be so taken aback if my partner said that and I would be thinking seriously if I wanted that kind of man in my life.

This is Mumsnet, what sort of replies do you think you're going to get?

Not that it needs saying but I'll bite anyway (pun totally intended) "No, you're not being too sensitive".

That is a horrible thing to say. Get rid.

Yes, it would bother me a lot. My DH has never called me a bitch.

I’m more than happy to be poked fun at and me and DH have banter all the time, but that comment would have made me very angry OP.

WTF have I just read?!

If a man said that to me he’d be wearing his drink. Fucking nasty arsehole. I hope you’re dumping him today?

I think I'd have got up and walked out. In fact I'm sure I would because I'd have had to be scraped off the ceiling. He'd be history.

I said I wasn’t happy with it and he said he was only joking

He did say it as if he expected me to laugh

It’s only a joke if you and others find it funny. He’s shit. Get rid.

And yet you've been together a whole year?

Why did he not know that his knuckle dragging misogynistic 'joke' wouldn't amuse you?

That’s just vile and unnecessary

A year in and the real him is really starting to show!

He did just say it to me rrather than in front of the whole crowd but yeah I really didn’t like it. Now this morning he’s saying “oh you know I don’t really think that” etc etc

So he was joking and it landed badly. I could understand being pissed off for a minute but you need to let it go now.

Yes but I would say he knows me well enough by now to get my humour

The important thing here is that you didn't like it.

He needs to understand that you don't put up with those kind of 'jokes', especially when at your expense and made to a crowd, and that your boundary is firm on the matter.

It's really poor form to embarrass you like that in front of his family, OP.

Depends on the person and relationship though, doesn't it?

My DP's SOH is brutal, although he gleefully takes it back just as much, but if he dropped that on me in front of a group of people I didn't know I'd hand him his arse.

It does sound like this is out of character for him and that he was showing off at her expense.

Sorry just to clarify he didn’t say it in front of everyone, just to me because I was trying to let him know the dog was making me nervous privately

Well he wouldn't say it in front of everyone because then everyone would know he was an absolute shit.

You need to end it. 'Jokes' like that reveal the true person, and in this case, it's ugly and cruel. Also, jokes like that tend to escalate over time. Don't let that happen, there are better men out there.

I would have said yeah ill go sniff me a better dog.

It’s a no from me

someone who makes jokes like that just wouldn’t be someone I’m compatible with

No she doesn't.