Am I being too sensitive or would this bother you?

[Privateeye34]

My boyfriend of 1 year and I went to a little family gathering last night for the new year. I’m nervous of dogs and the dog kept coming over and sniffing round me (as dogs do). I said to my boyfriend about it and he said “that dog knows a bitch when he smells one”
??

Long term relationships can be healthy and beneficial.

But length does not equal health.

But to reiterate I have not encouraged anybody to break up. I have supported OP holding whatever boundaries she sees fit and said if she chooses to end the relationship over this that is perfectly fine.

Yep. My experience of dating a red pulled douchebro was it started with a “joke”.

Which I overlooked. And then the jokes continued and his real character came out.

I don’t know what the case is here but OP should assert her boundaries and say this is not the kind of humour she appreciates and see how he responds.

Jokes are often a play on words using the fact that the English language contains many words with multiple meanings depending on context, but this was a hideous example.

Is it necessary to be perfect to call anything out?

OP, this comment is a gift - he's showing you relatively early on who he is. It's a clear red flag. Leave now or leave after plenty more red flags and more upset - the choice is yours.

Not always necessary to consider breaking up. Making a mistake and hurting someone is one thing, how they own that mistake and learn from it is another. You can forgive someone if they acknowledge they cocked up, apologise sincerely and promise to do their best to avoid it in future. If they try to project the issue back and victim blame/insult, then the narcissist warning siren goes off and it is a case of fuck off out of my life.

You may be right, but he has utterly rejected her communication.
I wonder how he would have liked it if she had responded in kind:
”I wonder if they have a sow, and we’ll see if she can sniff out a pig?”
”Maybe they have a heifer to sniff out that bullshit your yakking on”
”Well both of us know the donkey would be drawing a blank around you, don’t we.”

I'd be teempted to give him the benefit of the doubt although I wouldn't like that comment to be made about me either.
We've all said something we regret

when I read the first few words I thought this post was going to be about a joke your in laws made that could be taken either way not an out right insult from your own DP. LTB. He’s a twat.

A bitch is a female dog.
Dogs are seen as wonderful companions for people and some view them as superior to people.
If dogs are seen as intelligent wonderful loving animals and a bitch is a dog, why is calling someone a bitch an insult?

I can't imagine any nice, decent, kind person would even consider this is to a remotely funny 'joke' or not understand how something like this would offend someone.

I'm a police officer and the only time I've ever been called a bitch is by awful, horrible, nasty individuals who are trying to upset me and degrade me and generally have a low opinion of women.

I have never been called a bitch by any of my partners who are meant to love and care for me. Even as a 'joke'. Think on that OP.

Absolutely this.

There is a reason some women end up with twats and some don't.
I have met both.

There is no coming back from that remark IMO.
Sorry OP.
An unbelievable remark to make.
Decent guys don't say shit like that.
Twats do.

Jokes are supposed to be funny. This isn't. It's nasty and misogynistic. If he can't see that it's an offensive thing to say and hasn't apologised, he's not a keeper. Even if he's does apologise, it's questionable.

This. Dump him, you can do better.

I'd be teempted to give him the benefit of the doubt although I wouldn't like that comment to be made about me either.
We've all said something we regret

There is no way a man who really likedl and genuinely respected the woman he was with would say such a thing.

Misogynistic twats love testing the ground with what they can say and get away with.

This won't be the last time you get a flash of who he is.

Up to you how long you want to waste your time on someone low class.

I sometimes joke that I am the biggest bitch in the house - we have several female pets - but its the kind of thing which is only ok if you say it yourself. So no, it is not ok. Although a lot of people refer to women as bitches habitually - is he one of those?

He called you a bitch. End of story. Dump him. That's how he sees you, and probably all women.

Witty?? Seriously?

It wasn’t funny or clever and it was pretty rude.

I think that his response, to how you responded to his comment, is important. If he said "I'm so sorry. I meant it as a joke and I completely misjudged it" that's one thing. If he said "It's a joke! You're taking it the wrong way", that's another thing entirely. One response acknowledges that HE is in the wrong. The other shifts the blame to you.

I'd give him a chance if he accepts blame and sincerely apologised. I'd dump his arse if he blamed me for his nasty comment.

Has he been that unpleasant before? What’s he like if you row? I think that’s a really shitty comment to have made. I can’t 8magine s9meone who loves you making such a remark, it’s weird.

I agree - from experience.

this is EXACTLY the time line for someone to begin to let the mask slip. he is showing you who he is, and the female dog vs bitch is just as bad.

This was a test of how much crap you will be taking from him. he will do more in the future, it' only a year, it's nothing in the scheme of things, bin him off and don't settle for anything like this again.

Yes, him apologising and saying “yeah sorry” would be a good start though, no?

If this is the case, then address it (tell him and get assurances it won’t happen again) and move on. Good relationships are always a work in progress and many men are too!

If he ticks all your other boxes given him a chance to learn from this and be a better person.

Dump him. Misogynistic jokes aren’t funny.