Am I being too sensitive or would this bother you?

[Privateeye34]

My boyfriend of 1 year and I went to a little family gathering last night for the new year. I’m nervous of dogs and the dog kept coming over and sniffing round me (as dogs do). I said to my boyfriend about it and he said “that dog knows a bitch when he smells one”
??

You’re right

Friend said to me once, she had a mate who wanted a cat, her mate got drunk and saw an advertisement for a litter of kittens on FB marketplace, messaged the owner of the post and asked for all 8 kittens,,,,,my comeback to this story was 'that's a lot of pussy for one night'

Maybe it's just my sense of humour 🤔I am sorry you feel offended but then I wouldn't have....but then I also have 6 brothers and I'm from an older generation

💐

I think that’s slightly different though to the joke he made about me

Jokes are meant to be funny, can you explain the funny part of his joke?

@Privateeye34 You should approach him with a roll of 🧻 toilet paper and say “ I know a shit 💩 man when I see one.”

Common ,chavvy misogynist comment. It would put me off

Depends on if this is the way you joke together (do you give it back?)

If out of the blue, nah..bros off

I actually think it's actually pretty witty. People take themselves so seriously these days. It was a silly joke! He loves you and is usually kind, yes? Then he made a joke you didn't like, so be it. You've told him you didn't like it now move on.

Are you perfect? Do you always say exactly the right thing?

Haha I'd laugh at that too!

Can you explain what is witty about it?

It doesn’t matter a whit whether “it was a joke”. You don’t need his permission to end the relationship for being a vulgar mouthed buffoon.
So what if he says you’re “too sensitive”- the implication of that is that you’re not coming up to scratch for him either. Which is a much more serious issue than a badly chosen not funny put down masquerading as a joke.

Dog sniffing, reference to bitches. Jokey put downs are funny to me, as long as they're not too frequent and are made by people who otherwise treat me well.

It would make me chuckle, I'd probably pretend to be insulted and then try to throw him a joke later. It's just not a big deal.

I was raised in a laid back environment though where people were silly (but underneath it kind) with each other.

I don't find your joke particularly funny, no, but I also don't think it's as rude or unpleasant as the "joke" her BF made to and about her. Your joke would have me roling my eyes. his "joke" made me do that thing where you instinctively rear backwards and purse your lips going "whoah".

OP, if it was realy a joke and he was suitably apologetic, I might let it go. But, like most people on this thread, I'm suspicious that it's the first in what will be a long line of similar moments, all dismissed as jokes or as you being too sensitive.

DH hurt me once. It was 100% a joke and the injury was very small. I was absolutely livid and he was abject in his apologies and acceptance that what was supposed to be a little joke was a) not funny b) hideously inappropraite and c) hurt me. I got over it becuas ehis response made it so 100% clear that he really had not meant to hurt me and also that he was absolutely mortified that he had and that I was upset and he'd do anything to make sure it would never happen again.

I think it’s a weird shitty comment unless you have an established practice of insult humour with each other.

Relationships will never last if you break up over a poorly taken joke! If you truly love someone, this wouldn't end a relationship. They just need to communicate, find some middle ground and move forwards.

You can truly love somebody and still have boundaries that you enforce.

It’s also fine for a relationship not to last if it does not serve all parties in the relationship.

@JHound you'll never have a long term relationship that always serves all parties. Relationships have highs and lows and no one is perfect. Breaking up over an unappreciated joke is crazy advice. Unless they're looking for ways to end the relationship.

I don’t fetishise long relationships. I support healthy ones of any length.

It’s fine to have boundaries and reinforce those boundaries.

I did not advise anybody to break up with anybody but if OP chose to do that , that’s fine. Her life, her boundaries.

@JHound long term relationships, if healthy, are beneficial for all parties, including any future kids. Supporting people to have realistic ideas and expectations for relationships is helpful. Encouraging break ups over silly misdemeanours isn't.

He doesn't actually like you.

Exactly this. I stayed with a guy who made a “joke” in the very early stages of our relationship that I found completely tasteless. I excused him because I really fancied him and wanted it to work out (essentially for him to be someone he wasn’t). He wasn’t awful, but he wasn’t good enough for me, and while I was with him I was missing out on relationships that would have been better.

I'm from an older generation and i was in the army. I heard misogynistic shit like this for the entirety of my time in the service.

It was tedious. It wasn't funny, and it was fucking constant. Well done you for accepting it, others of us have higher expectations of the men around us.

Dump him.

That was very rude of him, unless there is a particular context, e.g. you like to insult each other in a jocular fashion.

There ar lots of "it was only a joke" comments on here.

I wonder how many of the women who are found posting on threads about how their partner doesn't do any housework; Christmas is left up to them; husbands have hobbies that they spend multiple evenings a week doing and neglect their parenting responsibilities whilst complaining about "men" would also be saying, "Lighten up, its only a joke"?

Because men who make misogynistic jokes generally aren't misogynistic in only one area of life.