To break up with him for love hearting a bunch of women's pictures?

[Kthnxbye11]

We've been together less than 6 months so it's still all very new but I had a gut feeling that I've been trying to push down for a few weeks which came to a head last night.

It came to my attention he was 'liking' half naked pictures of women on instagram, both onlyfans creators and 'regular' women. I noticed but didn't say anything at the time. One of these women is the one that has been in the media lately for sleeping with 100 men in a day 😔 big red flag right?

Now over the past week or so whenever he posted a Facebook status he'd get quite a bit of engagement from women I'd never heard him mention in a friend / knowing them context. Curiosity (or maybe insecurity) got the better of me and I did click to see who they was.

He has been 'love heart' reacting a load of their pictures, continuously. Normal selfies, bikini pictures, lingerie. Everything.

It feels like a deal breaker for me as that's everything I dislike about mens behaviour on social media.

My children's father was a serial cheat and ever since leaving him I've told myself I would be zero tolerance about anything like this and would leave at the first sign of wandering eyes.

I sent him a WhatsApp message before I went to bed saying I have seen how he uses social media and it makes him look like a creep, I'm ending things here.

He has read it this morning but hasn't replied yet. I fully expect he will contact me at some point today to downplay it and tell me I'm over reacting.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Have I done the right thing or is it me who is coming across badly here?

FWIW I know for a fact he would be upset if the shoe were on the other foot.

Feeling sad and a bit confused this morning and would benefit from some MN wisdom 😔

I'd love to have been a fly on the wall when @MonkeyVsBunny was having the boundary conversation with his significant other, explaining how he thinks with his balls and sometimes looks at "hot" women.
And as for algorithms, I have a male name on Facebook, but I never get any semi clad women popping up to titillate my lady parts.
And I don't know of any women that get streams of hot men in skimpy briefs either.
@Kthnxbye11 bloody well done!

Jesus. How patronising can you be? Setting boundaries? Nobody should have to set boundaries in this regard. The minimum expected behaviour should surely be that your partner doesn’t perv over women on his phone and intentionally interact with those women. Any man who needs someone to give him direction on this has a fair bit of growing up to do himself. If that’s even possible once the addiction to ogling other women sets in.

@NotAnotherPylon

And what makes our resident Man Here's posts even more ridiculous is that OP already did the thing he's accused her of not doing (and in the process called her immature and said she won't be capable of a deep relationship 😂) and she has already told him so. He just hasn't bothered to read her posts properly.

ODFOD 🙄

She did, he crossed it - she told him to fuck off

So he emailed me.. 🥴

"Are you okay? I'm sorry if I've pissed you off"

Would you reply? I don't think I'm going to for now. He clearly doesn't get it does he?

I think I'd reply: "I meant what I said last night. It's been fun. All the best."

Especially as you're going to see him often. I'd want to know he'd definitely understood, but also be civil about it.

If he feigned ignorance after that I'd not bother with further replies.

No, I'd leave it for now, you've told him.

I think best be civil and polite esp as you will be seeing him on the school run. Even more important is that your DC(s) are not caught up in any animosity on his part.

Perhaps:
"Are you okay? I'm sorry if I've pissed you off"

”No, you haven’t, it’s just that unfortunately I don’t think it’s working out, which is a shame.”
Or something like that.

I think I'd just say "I think I've made myself clear in my previous post. We have different values. Let's leave it there." Then I'd get my stuff back as quick as possible. Draw a line under it. If it is things you won't miss just tell him to bin whatever is of yours as you don't need it.

In light of the fact I will have to see him on Monday and him having some valuable things of mine at his house, I replied with:

"I'm fine. I don't need an apology. If you really couldn't see anything wrong with that behaviour we are just too incompatible but I don't want to end on hostile terms. I'll call you next week to collect the ipad and bits. Happy new year"

You get to set whatever boundaries you wish for yourself and the relationships you wish to engage in.

If this is a dealbreaker for you then it’s a dealbreaker. End it and find a man who shares your view on this.

Sounds good. Be prepared for him to try and wear you down, rationalise it then when he sees you won't cave he might turn the tables and say you're uptight etc so I'd minimise contact with him as much as you can.

No, it isn't.

It's the same as seeing a woman in the street and wolf whistling at her. You are completely in control of whether you click the ♥️ or scroll on by. Clicking the heart invites more images into your feed and shows the world that you are the kind of guy who does this.

Great reply. Any further communication from him can be deferred till next week. Onwards and upwards!

I think both the tone and content of your reply were perfect @Kthnxbye11. I hope all goes ok.

Oh no, I didn’t mean that facebook was on the decline, it’s just liking posts and adding in what your up to on a status is a bit sad from grown adults

And I guess the number increases because of users that have accounts that they no longer use and of course people die