To break up with him for love hearting a bunch of women's pictures?

[Kthnxbye11]

We've been together less than 6 months so it's still all very new but I had a gut feeling that I've been trying to push down for a few weeks which came to a head last night.

It came to my attention he was 'liking' half naked pictures of women on instagram, both onlyfans creators and 'regular' women. I noticed but didn't say anything at the time. One of these women is the one that has been in the media lately for sleeping with 100 men in a day 😔 big red flag right?

Now over the past week or so whenever he posted a Facebook status he'd get quite a bit of engagement from women I'd never heard him mention in a friend / knowing them context. Curiosity (or maybe insecurity) got the better of me and I did click to see who they was.

He has been 'love heart' reacting a load of their pictures, continuously. Normal selfies, bikini pictures, lingerie. Everything.

It feels like a deal breaker for me as that's everything I dislike about mens behaviour on social media.

My children's father was a serial cheat and ever since leaving him I've told myself I would be zero tolerance about anything like this and would leave at the first sign of wandering eyes.

I sent him a WhatsApp message before I went to bed saying I have seen how he uses social media and it makes him look like a creep, I'm ending things here.

He has read it this morning but hasn't replied yet. I fully expect he will contact me at some point today to downplay it and tell me I'm over reacting.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Have I done the right thing or is it me who is coming across badly here?

FWIW I know for a fact he would be upset if the shoe were on the other foot.

Feeling sad and a bit confused this morning and would benefit from some MN wisdom 😔

Well done @Kthnxbye11 . More women should have their bar this high.

Thank you. I'm really glad I posted. Any niggling thought about whether I might have overreacted is well and truly squashed.

Your gut never fails. Then you saw the proof.

The OP doesn't owe the sleazebag anything, other than contempt.

Honest conversations are for people who are worthy of them. He isn't. Period.

I hope you're ignoring the ridiculous posts from the 'man' on the thread.

His opinions confirm that some men (not all) are fucking dickheads.

IMO this is precisely the patriarchal bs women are sick to the back teeth of. If "all" men continue like this, the only thing left for them to interact with will be those fake images, because real women are worth more than having to put up with childish crap just to be in a relationship.

Oh fuck off.

OP, ignore this sad twat and all his gaslighting bullshit. You've done absolutely the right thing.

My ex did this and he said every man does it, it means nothing etc. Well I believed him and my self esteem hit rock bottom, I was gaslit into believing it was okay even though it made me feel worthless everytime I saw it.

What changed was when I saw my DB doing the same thing, liking the same images as my ex and I felt so bad for his GF. I had a massive argument over it with my brother, told him how it would have made his GF feel, how he looks like a creep to other women especially ones who know him.

I left my ex and haven't looked back and my brothers GF left him and she's moved on and found someone who makes her really happy. My DB is single and so is my ex.

Well done OP for putting you and your feelings first.

I agree the ops boyfriend is behaving inappropriately. However, the Ai algorithm also draws from friends, work, family, phone numbers and what Ai thinks the user might engage with. It's not specific until the user either engages or searches. In this case, he's engaging with this content.
It's pay-per-click.

Welcome to the world of Ai.

Every man on the planet does this.

No they don't.

Hth.

Too funny - the guy behaves like a 13 year old and a gruesome creep and now you come along shaming and mansplaining this awesome adult woman with fabulous self-respect and boundaries ... now what could your problem be ?? 😂

Totally admire your decision! The only thing that counts is whether something is acceptable to you. There is no need to give that bloke a decent send off, ffs, a person deserves the decency they treat you with. He is entitled, immature, creepy, a liar, and sounds like 100% of the countless cheating creeps you can read about on Chump lady. She gives a lot of tips on what she calls "how to fix your picker". Have a wonderful New Year!!

Depending on which stats you look at, FB has between 2.7 and 3 billion users worldwide. Its numbers increase every year, not decrease. There are over 400 million users in the European area alone.
Such an ageist trope that "no one uses fb any more". And wrong.

Oh do jog on with your mansplaining excuses for immature, sleazy , greasy behaviour.

Hahaha

Ladies, shush. @MonkeyVsBunny is going to stop looking at big booby women on social media for a moment to tell us all how to have successful, honest, deep connections 🤭

Bollocks we do. I'm a man and can guarantee I've never "liked" a picture of a half naked woman on social media.

Yes, Facebook still shows me this rubbish, because you see a half naked woman in your feed and your hindbrain goes "Ooh, nudity!" and you stop scrolling for half a second. And social media considers that moment of interaction to be enough to go "Right, this person wants more of that type of content" and I spend 3 months getting spammed with posts about a bikini coffee shop in Sydney. (I'm also currently getting lots of pictures of trains, because I looked at one picture for a few seconds)

But surely it's not difficult to have the self control to not click the like button, which in this context signals "I really enjoyed perving at this person" to everyone on the internet.

Women on Mumsnet have a negative enough view of men as it is without bell ends like you lowering it even further.

the difference is - you hit "not interested ", in OP case, he was sending out the likes.

How you can so confidently say don’t over react. He’s not cheating on you, you don't know this guy, you've no idea what he's doing. Don't be nieve.

Let the online prostitutes have him and his wandering eye. He is pitiful and so are the women he's ogling.

Definitely.

Happy new year, may cheap and lustful men never find me.

This

Also he’s thick as fuck as those Facebook “friends” are male scammers half way across the world who’ve stolen women’s pictures and who will probably end up asking him to pay £2000 towards their flight over, and he will do it

None the less you’ll always be unhappy in relationships until you can clearly set standards and boundaries face to face like a grown up.

@MonkeyVsBunny

None the less you’ll always be unhappy in relationships until you can clearly set standards and boundaries face to face like a grown up.

Before you criticised OP for not doing the above, she already explained she had already done so...

Did you miss it? Here you go. She literally had an entire conversation about this exact topic with her boyfriend and told him she found it disrespectful and embarrassing... and he said he agreed with her!

all of this, the topic of men doing this on social media actually came up. A female relative of his was dealing with more or less exactly the same thing. I made it clear, whilst talking to him, what I thought about men doing it (more or less exactly what I've expressed here - it's embarrassing and disrespectful) and he AGREED with me!

If you're as mature as you think you are, you might want to apologise to the OP for not reading her posts properly and repeatedly scolding her for not doing something she had already done?

Which she did. She even told you directly at 10.24 in response to YOUR post of 10.16. I mean really, if you can't even be bothered to read the OP's answers to your OWN posts, then I really think you have no business commenting further.

Shall we just let the porn-sick incel talk to himself?

Usually I would agree but he's been so confident in repeatedly telling OP she's immature for not doing something she has already explained she has that it would be refreshing for him to apologise for not having the respect to read her posts properly despite making time to continue scolding her.

I'm sure he won't though.