To break up with him for love hearting a bunch of women's pictures?

[Kthnxbye11]

We've been together less than 6 months so it's still all very new but I had a gut feeling that I've been trying to push down for a few weeks which came to a head last night.

It came to my attention he was 'liking' half naked pictures of women on instagram, both onlyfans creators and 'regular' women. I noticed but didn't say anything at the time. One of these women is the one that has been in the media lately for sleeping with 100 men in a day 😔 big red flag right?

Now over the past week or so whenever he posted a Facebook status he'd get quite a bit of engagement from women I'd never heard him mention in a friend / knowing them context. Curiosity (or maybe insecurity) got the better of me and I did click to see who they was.

He has been 'love heart' reacting a load of their pictures, continuously. Normal selfies, bikini pictures, lingerie. Everything.

It feels like a deal breaker for me as that's everything I dislike about mens behaviour on social media.

My children's father was a serial cheat and ever since leaving him I've told myself I would be zero tolerance about anything like this and would leave at the first sign of wandering eyes.

I sent him a WhatsApp message before I went to bed saying I have seen how he uses social media and it makes him look like a creep, I'm ending things here.

He has read it this morning but hasn't replied yet. I fully expect he will contact me at some point today to downplay it and tell me I'm over reacting.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Have I done the right thing or is it me who is coming across badly here?

FWIW I know for a fact he would be upset if the shoe were on the other foot.

Feeling sad and a bit confused this morning and would benefit from some MN wisdom 😔

Maybe you’re an unusually testicles -led, basic type of individual?

But while you're hitting 'not interested', he's liking them and liking women on his FB, too. Not every man does this. Otherwise, I'd have a lot more likes when I post a photo in relation to my male followers.

Not all men do do this OP, my partner, who's social media i have access to (he also scrolls threw it next to me all the time), does not get OF models pop up nor likes other women's photos. His algorithm is cycling and football. Not all men are like this.

I don't think it is the same at all.

It's one thing noticing an attractive woman in the street and thinking she is attractive, it's another thing broadcasting that fact to hundreds of people including me.

I see it as disrespectful and embarrassing. Why would I want my family and friends to see any partner of mine behave like that? What impression would that give my daughter?

It's also not only OnlyFans creators or celebrities it's ordinary women on his Facebook who he could have access to if it was reciprocal.. and I assume it must be because they're putting love hearts on his status updates.

Fuck that, he's for the streets not for me.

Blaming the ‘algorithm’…Not your own search tendencies and base view of women…how convenient. 🙄

😂
You can try to convince yourself that you are not a sleaze but the rest of us don’t buy it and neither does the OP.

I only look for, and post, warhammer - and yet every few weeks, the algorithm tries out new stuff on me. It always. Always includes hot girls in bikinis. That’s literally how it works to find new subjects.

Yes but @MonkeyVsBunny you're not pressing love on them are you? So not what the ops twat ex was doing and a pointless anecdote.

Your life, your choices of course.
I do wonder if he knows other people can see the likes? It does seem weird to love heart actual people you know on Facebook like that, must have missed that in the original post.

a lot of break ups in relationships seem to be about people having mismatched expectations about what is and what is not acceptable. I’d certainly be having a frank chat about what is and what is not so you bother understand what you need from each other, first. Even as a courtesy to his next partner :)

It’s creepy and pervy. Fine if he’s a 22 year old, single lad at uni. But it’s just ‘off’ to do this in a relationship.

When you see him at school just say a quick Hi and head down.

Good on your for having boundaries and sticking to them OP. You will thank yourself a million times over when you meet a decent man down the line who doesn't do this.

Not every man does it.

It's disrespectful and completely gross. I totally agree with you, I know a guy quite well who I noticed was interacting with a lot of this kind of content online (he's married) and instantly thought 'ew' I wonder if his wife knows and I wonder if she minds? Because I would.

Later it comes out that he's been having affairs for at least 2 years behind his wife's back.

You have actually just reminded me about something.

A couple of months ago, before I started seeing all of this, the topic of men doing this on social media actually came up.

A female relative of his was dealing with more or less exactly the same thing.

I made it clear, whilst talking to him, what I thought about men doing it (more or less exactly what I've expressed here - it's embarrassing and disrespectful) and he AGREED with me!

The audacity that man has.

Yes he sounds awful, but I am suprised people still update their Facebook status?!

Fair point then - and (I may have missed it) what did he say when you told him what he was doing really upset you and why it upset you?

we should all have very clear boundaries but they often need explicitly stating rather than being implied.

Every man on the planet does this.

No they don't.

Every man on the planet really does like the occasional hot picture on social media, yes.

This is also gaslighting. The comment not the response.
Doing something sleazy and then making out the woman is in the wrong/not cool for questioning it.

He has replied to my WhatsApp message

"Are you alright?"

Completely bypassing the message I sent last night.

I've blocked him for now so I don't get drawn into the inevitable minimising that would come my way if I replied. I'll worry about my belongings next week when the kids go back to school.

What a shit start to the new year but I'm determined to reframe it as a bullet dodged.

To the poster who ignored her gut and stayed with the creep partner who does the same thing, it's not too late to kick him to the curb. You (we) deserve a lot better than this rubbish 💐

Sat next to my husband this morning while he was scrolling social media and the algorithm didn't throw up loads of hot women for him, it was mostly about sport. He's not some kind of saint, just a normal man and not a creep.

Awww when your balls are doing the thinking do they sprout thumbs and interact with the big boobed reel too?

He hasn't said anything.

I ended things via message last night and told him why. He read the message this morning at around 7 and didn't reply to it, then messaged about 10 minutes ago saying "are you alright?"

I've blocked him now.

Every man on the planet really does like the occasional hot picture on social media, yes.

Would you like to bet your house on that.....

They really do NOT!! Maybe you and your friends do, real men do not feel the need to like strangers' half naked photos...

Good for you, OP. YANBU at all.

Massive red flag. I wouldn’t be with anyone like this.

You don't need permission to dump him.

You can end a relationship for any reason you like, even if it's just that you don't like the colour of his socks.

The whole point of dating is to see if you are a match, you aren't so it's a "Thank you, next!" situation.

Just for the sake of clarity and so he doesn't think it's a drunk NYE text last night, I would reply to his "alright?" Text with a "Hi X, as said last night I am no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with you, please don't contact me again and I wish you luck in the future". Then block.