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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think husband ruined NYE?

102 replies

Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 06:27

Last night for the first time ever we went out to celebrate NYE.
We bought tickets to an event, along with a couple of friends, and were really looking spending NYE at a party altogether but I feel like my husband ruined the night.
Both my husband and my friend’s husband mixed their alcoholic drinks and ended up in a bit of a state. However while her husband quietly retreated to a corner of the room mine was on the dance floor bumping into people, stumbling about and getting progressively more and more irritating and embarrassing as the night went on.
We left promptly after midnight as most of us were no longer enjoying ourselves, plus I felt like I had to keep a constant eye on what my husband was doing to make sure he wasn’t bothering/falling into other guests etc but I am really annoyed with him and feel that he ruined what should have been a good night out.
I don’t even want to talk to him today, although I imagine he isn’t going to wake up feeling too bright so hopefully won’t try to talk to me, but I am also wondering if I am BU to be so annoyed particularly because I didn’t drink alcohol (driving) so my perception will be somewhat different

OP posts:
Nettleteaser101 · 01/01/2025 06:32

Your DH is a twit and I think he will be paying for it today. I would be annoyed as he had made your night seem longer as you couldn't enjoy yourself.
I would have words with him when he is sober and tell him he had ruined your evening. I hope he isn't like this everytime you go out.

Bigblueelephant · 01/01/2025 06:42

It's a shame but unless he's got form for it, I wouldn't be angry. We all make mistakes and, like a pp said, he'll be paying for it today! All that said, a little gesture to make up for it wouldn't go amiss I don't think!

toastandtwo · 01/01/2025 06:57

I don’t think YABU, it was meant to be a special night and you were looking forward to it. I know I’d be cross in your position (I hate it when DH gets drunk and acts like a fool) but all that said if it was unlike him I would just have a chat with him when he wakes and explain that it spoiled the evening for you - hopefully a quick apology and then you can move on.

ThejoyofNC · 01/01/2025 07:00

Oh come on. You said yourself it's the first time you've gone out for NYE, he got too drunk and acted a bit of a fool. He didn't do anything crazy.

Original poster
Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:03

Nettleteaser101 · 01/01/2025 06:32

Your DH is a twit and I think he will be paying for it today. I would be annoyed as he had made your night seem longer as you couldn't enjoy yourself.
I would have words with him when he is sober and tell him he had ruined your evening. I hope he isn't like this everytime you go out.

We rarely go out which I think is another reason I feel so annoyed about it..

OP posts:
Original poster
Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:09

ThejoyofNC · 01/01/2025 07:00

Oh come on. You said yourself it's the first time you've gone out for NYE, he got too drunk and acted a bit of a fool. He didn't do anything crazy.

This is why I wanted to get some perspective on it. I am really annoyed about how the night ended up but also know that apart from being annoying/embarrassing he didn’t start any fights, vomit everywhere etc

OP posts:
WishinAndHopin · 01/01/2025 07:11

YANBU, there is no need for anyone to be rat arsed. (It’s not a “mistake”, he’s not a teenager). Binge drinking benefits nobody and doesn’t make anything more enjoyable.

crumblingschools · 01/01/2025 07:12

Did you choose to be the driver?

ForOliveOP · 01/01/2025 07:12

What a way to start 2025

any children Op?
marriage otherwise…. healthy? happy?

ForOliveOP · 01/01/2025 07:13

also know that apart from being annoying/embarrassing he didn’t start any fights, vomit everywhere etc

what a benchmark

Zanatdy · 01/01/2025 07:15

Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:09

This is why I wanted to get some perspective on it. I am really annoyed about how the night ended up but also know that apart from being annoying/embarrassing he didn’t start any fights, vomit everywhere etc

Show quote history

Yeah I think you’re being a bit OTT about it. It’s not the worse thing in the world to have a few too many drinks on NYE and be a bit silly. P

creamsnugjumper · 01/01/2025 07:18

I always feel 2nd hand embarrassment when I'm sober and driving when people around me are drinking.

Drunk people are sooooo annoying.

I'd suggest maybe plan another evening where you can both relax and have a few drinks together maybe a meal out or something nice that you can both enjoy to make up for his drunken NYE.

Personally I'd be a bit annoyed but it's your sober eyes that make it worse, I'm sure everyone was equally tipsy, as it is NYE and most people start early, so in this case I think I'd let it slide, and plan to go out more.

ASimpleLampoon · 01/01/2025 07:18

What an idiot and how embarrassing. He sounds like he's acting about 15!

Take yourself out today and don't none kind about his hangover.

Original poster
Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:21

WishinAndHopin · 01/01/2025 07:11

YANBU, there is no need for anyone to be rat arsed. (It’s not a “mistake”, he’s not a teenager). Binge drinking benefits nobody and doesn’t make anything more enjoyable.

Having a few drinks and enjoying yourself is one thing but he clearly didn’t know when to stop and took it too far

OP posts:
Hercisback1 · 01/01/2025 07:23

I don’t even want to talk to him today, although I imagine he isn’t going to wake up feeling too bright so hopefully won’t try to talk to me

Over reaction of 2025 already.

Original poster
Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:26

crumblingschools · 01/01/2025 07:12

Did you choose to be the driver?

I did. I was happy to drive and was just looking forward to seeing the new year in with friends rather then being asleep like most years 😂

OP posts:
CountZacular · 01/01/2025 07:27

Most of us have got a bit too drunk when having fun and gone a bit overboard. It doesn’t sound like he’s done anything really shitty, just been obnoxious and annoying (which is yes, annoying, but not the end of the world).

I think this is one of those situations where if it isn’t the norm, you go out for a bit today and leave him to it but just let it go. Obviously if he has form for this that’s a different discussion entirely.

DreamTheMoors · 01/01/2025 07:30

This reminds of the time my parents and I were over at our friends house and the adults were in one room partying and we were in the other.
I looked in and there was my dad with his hands all over this woman — I was horrified. Disgusted.
They were both drunk and she couldn’t fend him off and my mum just sat there like nbd.
I scolded my mum to get on my dad so she said “Dream says you’re embarrassing her - stop.”
That was 50 years ago and it still disgusts me.
Afterward I got on my dad’s case too - he thought it was funny. It was gross.

AhBiscuits · 01/01/2025 07:31

I think you're overreacting. He drank too much and was stumbling around a bit, so what? It sounds like you were very focused on him, I'd have been too busy enjoying the party.

Original poster
Chummychoos · 01/01/2025 07:35

creamsnugjumper · 01/01/2025 07:18

I always feel 2nd hand embarrassment when I'm sober and driving when people around me are drinking.

Drunk people are sooooo annoying.

I'd suggest maybe plan another evening where you can both relax and have a few drinks together maybe a meal out or something nice that you can both enjoy to make up for his drunken NYE.

Personally I'd be a bit annoyed but it's your sober eyes that make it worse, I'm sure everyone was equally tipsy, as it is NYE and most people start early, so in this case I think I'd let it slide, and plan to go out more.

Exactly this.

There were probably other people that had also drunk too much but the only person I was noticing was my husband.

Anyway, thank you for your reply

OP posts:
EmberAsh · 01/01/2025 07:37

When you're sober, people drinking often seem extra irritating. Next time, make plans that mean you can both drink or come up with something different. And don't start the New Year in an argument.

NOTANUM · 01/01/2025 07:40

If he was impacting other people’s enjoyment, then yes I’d be annoyed. I hate dancing and finding some drunk trying to talk to me or barging into me in an attempt to “dance”.
If neither were true and he was largely just in his own world, then I’d say nothing.

Bustopnumberone · 01/01/2025 07:41

I’d let it go. It was NYE - if it’s a night anyone’s going to have a bit too much to drink, it’ll be then. You probably wouldn’t have been nearly as irritated if you were drinking too - everyone’s more annoying when you’re sober. Unless he has form for always getting pissed and being embarrassing when you go out, personally, I’d give him a break!

Growlybear83 · 01/01/2025 07:41

I think you're over reacting hugely. Your husband didn't do anything awful and I doubt that there are many people who haven't got a bit pissed on New Year's Eve at some point in their lives.

Firenzeflower · 01/01/2025 07:42

He got drunk at an event with alcohol on a night where people all over the world celebrate.
Divorce is the ONLY answer.
Next time go for afternoon tea and make sure he knows to hold his cucumber sandwiches in a dainty manner.