AIBU to think husband ruined NYE?

[Chummychoos]

Last night for the first time ever we went out to celebrate NYE.
We bought tickets to an event, along with a couple of friends, and were really looking spending NYE at a party altogether but I feel like my husband ruined the night.
Both my husband and my friend’s husband mixed their alcoholic drinks and ended up in a bit of a state. However while her husband quietly retreated to a corner of the room mine was on the dance floor bumping into people, stumbling about and getting progressively more and more irritating and embarrassing as the night went on.
We left promptly after midnight as most of us were no longer enjoying ourselves, plus I felt like I had to keep a constant eye on what my husband was doing to make sure he wasn’t bothering/falling into other guests etc but I am really annoyed with him and feel that he ruined what should have been a good night out.
I don’t even want to talk to him today, although I imagine he isn’t going to wake up feeling too bright so hopefully won’t try to talk to me, but I am also wondering if I am BU to be so annoyed particularly because I didn’t drink alcohol (driving) so my perception will be somewhat different

He was only dancing!

If it was a one off, perhaps you can look back fondly on it when the disappointment has worn off. We all do stupid things from time to time. You're both responsible for making time to socialise. Seize the opportunity to book another event together sooner rather than later - turn it into a joke that 'you owe me' and it could be just the catalyst you need to embark on a very social and sober 2025.

Don't listen to all the bitter ppl calling him a child or belittling him. He was having fun with another bloke at the party and it sounds like they both got carried away. If you launch into anger and berate him it will probably descend into negativity dragged from 2024 into 2025.

If he does it again or you're not happy with him all round and this is just another notch against his poor behaviour then it's time to think about options.

You're in a prime position - don't waste it

I think you’re over reacting. It was NYE and you hardly ever go out … he was enjoying himself. Bet nobody else even noticed.

Why don’t you go out more often?

I personally think it’s no big deal. He got drunk, you said you rarely go out. He didn’t really do anything wrong. Every drunk person looks worse when we are sober so I’d let it go and let him pay for it with the hangover he’ll inevitably face when he wakes up.

If most people were drinking, they won't have noticed your husband, and his hangover today will be its own 'punishment' so I don't think you need to add to this.

My answer would be different if he was doing this kind of thing regularly, but it was an isolated case of bad judgement.

My dad rarely drank anything more than a couple of pints of shandy, but every NYE he would be totally rat-arsed, mixing drinks, singing and dancing. It was always at big house parties with family and good friends, so it didn't matter. My Mum never drank, and despite being quite a controlling person, never really treated it as anything more than something to joke about.

Unless he does this regularly, I'd let it go, OP. He'll be paying for it today, and everyone deserves to let off steam occasionally.

Sorry you didn’t have the night you wanted to have OP - it must have been frustrating as it was your 1st time out ina while and you wanted to enjoy yourself not feel like you were babysitting your partner. I think YANBU to feel annoyed and could just explain that he massively owes you one - next time you go out he’s driving or whatever you think would be a reasonable request.

It does sound like there was no malicious intent and in the grand scheme of things no one was hurt. Obviously it depends on your feelings about people being drunk and how they should behave and everyone will think differently but from what you’ve said of his behaviour I wouldn’t have thought anything of that as an outsider at all NYE bash! Sounds like DH also needed to let off steam and

Having had a baby 6 months ago I fully get how irritating it can be when you’re the sober designated driver and everyone else is having an alcohol fuelled fun time. However I have also been the person who’s had one drink too many or drunk too much too quickly (this can definitely happen unintentionally if not been out or not drunk for a while) and made much worse of a fool of myself. If he’s anything like me he will feel rubbish and might have some beer fear anyway when he gets up! My husband has always laughed it off but also given me the “you shouldn’t drink that much / you should be more careful” chat rather than ignore me the next day and I am very grateful for that

I think it sounds like your husband was having a good night out. Fair play to him.

Oh come on, the poor guy. Had a few too many at a NYE party? Lighten up, and let him off his leash a little 🙄.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all OP. I don’t drink at all, I used too when I was younger and would go our most weekends and binge drink, but I got bored of it and went the other way entirely. I haven’t had a proper drink in about 10 years apart from a glass of fizz at my own wedding and any other wedding I go to as a show of respect for the toasts.

As a result, I am always the designated driver and I have witnessed as a sober person being around every kind of drunk going. Just because your DH wasn’t sick or violent, doesn’t excuse his behaviour in my opinion.

Most people can enjoy themselves without getting to the point where they loose control of themselves enough to stumble and bump into people and I always think when it’s gets to that point, it is embarrassing for the sober person they are with because it then starts to effect other peoples nights as well, and because you are sober you start to take on the responsibility for them.

There is nothing more annoying than a drunk person constantly bumping into you and stumbling all over the place. You kind of expect to see it on the student drinking streets etc, but not at an event you’ve paid for.

I think sometimes people forget that just because you are the driver doesn’t mean you aren’t there to enjoy your evening too. He probably felt he could really let his hair down because he knew you would get him safely home but he shouldn’t have put you in the position that you felt like a babysitter.

Don’t blame you for being annoyed but he probably feels like a bit of a fool now. And sick as a dog. So it’s not like he got off scott free.
Also if you were sober then it would have seemed worse to you than it would to anyone who was merry, so maybe no-one noticed. Did anyone say anything?

Unless he does this every time you go out I’d just draw a line under it and move on.

Ah he was just letting his hair down, cut him some slack. I’d be roundly taking the piss out of him today though! Oh and loudly clattering about near his head!

I think sometimes people forget that just because you are the driver doesn’t mean you aren’t there to enjoy your evening too. He probably felt he could really let his hair down because he knew you would get him safely home but he shouldn’t have put you in the position that you felt like a babysitter

To be fair it’s got to be rather difficult to enjoy yourself at a party if you’re sober. Taxi’s are the way to go.

It is cringey when middle aged people over drink and are falling about and I don't I'd want to be in a relationship with someone who did this regularly. It sounds like this was a big venue setting rather than a small gathering someone's house, so I do think there could be an element of you over noticing his drunk behaviour (probably due to this being out of character for him).

Massive overreaction to someone just getting a bit pissed at a party. Next time get a cab and unclench.

Do you know, I would actually prefer your suggestion myself!
😉

This doesn’t sound like anything to get too annoyed over – though you’re allowed to find it irritating of course. He didn’t sound that bad, and the other drinkers there likely wouldn’t have thought anything of it.

After reading all the responses and reflecting I will definitely speak to him about how I feel and explain how his actions affected my night. Will then aim to get 2025 back on track as it should have been.
Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year 🥳

I was commenting on people’s responses, not specifically the man himself. Some nations have an unhealthy attitude with alcohol; the UK is one of them. It’s well-known, not something I have invented!

I'd have just left him to it if the bouncers weren't throwing him out he obviously wasn't that bad.

Jeez it's just one night and he got a bit too drunk on the night that people get a bit too drunk.

Does he have form for drinking too much and acting like a dick? If so I'd address it with him as you have bigger issues than just one night.

If he doesn't and just went a bit mad because he doesn't get out much I'd make clear you feel his behaviour was embarrassing but then let it go. Most of us have overestimated our capacity to hold our drink at one point

Only on MN is someone being drunk on one of the days of the year most people enjoy themselves a problem

If this was a one off I wouldn't be angry I think giving silent treatment is over the top their would have been loads of drunk people their without a doubt so I wouldn't be overthinking this I have been in places where women have fallen into me while standing in a que at the bar and I'm female for context yes it was annoying but it is what it is

Drunk people are annoying when you’re not one.

I don’t know why you stayed until midnight if it was so bad though.