I came out of an abusive relationship almost 16 months ago. We were together 11 years. Sometimes things could be good and I felt like we got on well but I realise how controlling the relationship was, how I was isolated from people. Friends and family. I was criticised and put down a lot.
I had to pretty much tell my ex everything and eventually did do automatically.
I had no privacy.
I won't go into detail. But it was really hard. And I was constantly walking on egg shells.
We have a child. But now live separately.
So we are in contact.
My ex will ask me about my plans or when I haven't had DC "where did you go / who did you see?" Etc. As if it's chit chat. But it doesn't feel like chit chat.
I have recently started dating and have found myself full blown lying to my ex.
I hate it. And I feel like I'm feeling anxious all the time from the lies.
My ex has rang me a couple of times when I have been on a date to ask a random question or ask where I am because they need something. And because my DC is with them, I'll always answer.
But I will lie about where I am, who I'm with. I feel so incredibly guilty. It's eating me up. I am constantly anxious because I feel afraid of being 'found out'. Even though I'm not doing anything wrong.
People say to me I should just say 'mind your own business' but that is impossible for me. It isn't as easy as that.
Has anyone been in this situation before? And what did you do?