Should she replace it? Part 2

[Langarg]

Starting the new thread ahead of hopefully having an update soon!

I'd send her a message back to say "It's a shame this situation has taken the shine off your wedding. Unfortunately that's outside my control. It has taken the shine off my Christmas and NY, so please do the right thing and restore my property to me and then I'd be happy to leave it in 2024 but not before".

Just text back.
If you truly valued our friendship you would have forwarded me the money to replace the air wrap you lost . It is you that is stringing this out not me . A simple sorry I lost yours I will forwarded you money for a new one is what a true friend would do .

If she genuinely lost it rather than stole it, surely she would have owned up straightaway, sincerely apologised, and offered to replace it - this is what decent humans who truly value a friendship would do.

The guilt trip from her in your latest update OP - shocking!

It would be the end of the road for me where this friendship is concerned.

Nothing like trying to gaslight a friend. How can her wedding losing its shine be your fault? A small wedding, apparently on a budget and to which you were not invited, yet she felt entitled to borrow and "lose" something of yours.

I think she is preparing to end the friendship over the hairdryer. Either she’s taken it for herself, or simply does not want to spend on a replacement one and so
she’s manipulating an opportunity to leave the friendship. If she does somehow produce a replacement, she’ll remind you about it eternally.

‘I’m sorry you feel your decision not to immediately replace something of mine you were told you could borrow for one day only has taken the shine off of your wedding day.

unfortunately it seems like I am still the person missing out and now you’re trying to make me feel like a bad person for not requesting my property is replaced as it was leant in good faith.

I look forward to its immediate return - I am STILL without my hair dryer and it’s been x days now and my patience is wearing very thin.

if you value our friendship I will have a new one with me tomorrow, whether that’s mine found at the hotel / your boot / in a bag you hadn’t emptied or whether you go to boots and buy one’

I wouldn't apologise at all!

Probably worth clicking to read all of Op's updates on the first thread.

She hopes it can be 'left in 2024'? A New Year doesn't mean that you have amnesia and will forget how she either lost (and didn't care) or stole your £500 Dyson Air Wrap.

Whatever you do, don't feel guilty. Getting married isn't a free pass to behave like your 'friend' has. She needs to replace your appliance, full stop.

Yep; happy to leave it in 2024, once I get my air wrap back!

That sounds like a her problem, not a you problem. She has lost, or stolen, something very expensive belonging to you. Even in the most charitable scenario, she is obligated to replace the missing item at her expense.
She was careless. She has to replace it. Feelings really don't come into it at all.

I doubt you'll manage to rescue the friendship, no matter what the outcome. She's clearly prepared to cost you £££. I couldn't trust her again, not with £3 for a coffee.

Remove the emotion (including irritation with her) and focus dispassionately on the financial reimbursement. Anything else is a distraction, deliberate or not.

I’m off to tell my mortgage provider that all of this debt business can be left in 2024, and hopefully we can all move on.

I’ll report back…

Jesus - she's ruthless!

I can imagine she's going to awake in a sweaty hungover panic about that message. Screenshot it before she has a chance to delete it and don't back down.

Another shameless follow

🍿🍿🍿

Text her back.
"Return the dryer by tomorrow or refund me the full £500 that a NEW replacement would cost. Otherwise I will be pursuing this through the Small Claims Court. "

Utterly shameless! You aren’t being cynical. She is being a manipulative thief. I hope she has read this thread and feels thoroughly ashamed of herself.

How about:

I have valued our friendship, which is why I leant you an expensive piece of kit to make your wedding special. I agree, it is a shame that you have taken advantage of my kindness in failing to return my property to me. I would love to leave this as close to 2024 as possible, when you finally do the right thing and give me the air wrap back. When will that be?
Thanks x

There's cheeky fuckery and then theirs your pal op.

Emotional blackmail via text would make me offer to go with them to visit the hotel

Taken the shine off the wedding"
Nope, she had shiney hair courtesy of the stolen air wrap!!!

I fear another poster is right about her trying to engineer her way out of the friendship so she can flounce off without replacing your hairdryer. Don’t give her the opportunity. You need to be nice as pie without backing down.

‘I really value your friendship too and I can’t wait until this is all in the past. I’m really sad about all this as well, as the hairdryer means a lot to me. Please can you arrange for a replacement to be sent tomorrow so we can move on together from this. Thanks so much and happy new year!’

Then when - if - she sorts this drop her like a hot potato.

Wow, get your hairdryer back asap (new one or original one) then a conversation might be worthwhile, or just let friendship fizzle out.

Firstly she should have been very careful with borrowed equipment she would struggle to replace. Then I can't believe she didnt immediately own up to mistake and sort replacement. Then she tried to suggest second hand one and payment plan!! Guilt about having to put it onto credit card and now ruiming the wedding.

Even if you believe the exact story she has told she is still being completely unreasonable.

Yes she's trying to make you feel guilty.

You should tell her it can't be left in 2024 because it's 2025 and she hasn't replaced it yet.

Because her suggestion to leave it in 2024 is very calculated. You're supposed to drop it.

She's manipulative.

Don't fall for it.

She's a class act this one.

This this this!

a wedding , with two people as witnesses…2 hours away.

doesn’t make sense 🙃

Just read thread 1 and I think I would have insisted that your "friend" should have gone to the hotel yesterday rather than leaving it to the 2nd. If she has genuinely left it there surely there is a risk it will get ditched if the hotel has a policy of doing that with lost property. If I had really lost someone's expensive item I would not be able to sleep until it was found so I think she is lying.

However this is resolved I would never grant her favours or lend her anything again. Off now to check out this superb bit of kit as I had never heard of a Dyson air wrap before today. Hope OP gets it back or a replacement.