Should she replace it? Part 2

[Langarg]

Starting the new thread ahead of hopefully having an update soon!

oh my goodness, she is such a cheeky cow.

it's also a great way to take her into argos or boots to pick up the new one, and know you're not getting fobbed off with a fake or refurb. I wouldn't normally suggest something like that, but it's a good way to make it friendlier and less confrontational, so she'll be less likely to just ghost her about it.
just "oh, hi. I've been able to reserve one in the sales so you can get me a replacement and save £100 on the full price, and I thought we could make a day of it to catch up. I'll get us lunch as a thank you for replacing it.
then she can't play the victim. she said she COULD get it on her credit card, after all. and then say, if your one does show up, she can keep it as a gesture of goodwill, seeing as she's replaced it like for like.
what's it they say, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

and then it's like you're offering her an out that doesn't make her look bad. she can save face, and you're more likely to get a favourable outcome

Much more than that. She wants to be seen as a cheeky cow. She lack basic human decency

Yes, good points and I agree. It could definitely be more productive than a confrontational route which makes her resistant.

I just couldn't do this. I couldn't waste my time and money on a lying grifter who had treated me so appalling.

I think it's time to match fire with fire tbh. But politely, for the purpose of a potential small claims action, as a pp mentioned.

I think she’s decided to keep it for herself and is hoping you’ll give up or forget about it. Don’t let her get away with it!!!

I had a similar experience - lent a (now ex) friend a beautiful very expensive hat to wear for her civil ceremony. For two months she never mentioned returning it and when I asked she kept saying she’d get round to it. Eventually I told her I needed it for the weekend and would pass by to collect it myself. She then sent me a long winded text explaining that she’d stored it at her mum’s house, and the cleaner at her mum’s house had stolen it a few weeks ago. She then sent me a link to a dodgy Facebook page selling cheap fake designer hats from China and told me to “pick any I like” as a replacement for the handmade, bespoke French designer one I’d lent her!!!! I told her this was unacceptable and to instead send me £££. She went silent for a few days and then transferred me the cash. About a year later she shared pictures and videos on IG of a family wedding and her mum was wearing my hat! She even tagged the designer of the hat, and captioned it something infuriating like “look at my gorgeous mum’s style”. We have not spoken since.

I think this sounds like a nice resolution.

It's a difficult one as I wouldn't want to put a friend into credit card debt for such an unnecessarily expensive item, but then again I would be ultra careful borrowing something like that. Or not do it. Usually though, with something so high value it would be more a case of an insurance claim and paying a small excess than finding £500 right after Christmas.

@ZforZebra I would have just 'reacted' to your post but I couldn't find the right emoji 🤬

Bloody hell. The expression CF doesn't even cover that.

'Unnecessarily expensive?' Odd. Plus it's not the OP's issue that this woman needs to find £500 after Christmas.

Whose insurance company would fork out for it? The OP didn't 'lose' it. The ex-friend isn't insured for it.

Who are these people! Honestly it's the blatant cheek of it.

Part of me feels impressed they are so brazen about it!!

I don't understand why some are suggesting a shopping trip to replace the item where the OP takes the friend out for lunch as a thank you. OP owes the friend nothing, she's not the one who has stolen something, abused and disrespected the friendship.

As a thank you 😄 oh my dear daisy.

No fucking way. Thank you for losing/ stealing my item and replacing it. Mighty good of you.

At this point I would be totally rude about it. OP has been nicey nicey enough.

Please purchase me a new one and send the tracking info by Monday. Thanks

I agree. It’s absolutely batshit to reward the CF for her dreadful piss taking behaviour.

If she was a genuine friend, she’d be so apologetic and be bending over backwards to replace the item she’s ‘lost’ not making excuses and turning herself into the victim

Because it’s a way of getting the damn thing replaced in a reasonably civilised fashion. I’d invest £20 to get my £500 Dyson product replaced and know I was getting the real thing, not a dupe or second hand one. It’s called pragmatism.

Disagree. It's not pragmatic at all, nor warranted. It's not going to work anyway, the friend has been caught in a web of her own lies and there's no way she'll agree to something like this.

Fuck civilised. The friend doesn't deserve any such consideration. Besides, you think they can be friends after this? Absolutely no, the friend has proved she's no such thing.

This. Most people would be absolutely distraught about losing this item and doing everyone possible to put things right, and reaching out the OP in the most apologetic way.

Her actions and reactions are 100% that she's stolen it to keep or sell, and the OP hasn't let her off the hook as the CF patently expected.

Her whiny, guilt-tripping excuses would absolutely be the last straw for me.

Just to play devils advocate here, a few years ago I genuinely left my much loved Dyson hairdryer in a hotel - I had squirrelled it away into a cupboard and forgot about it when packing to go home. When I contacted the hotel despite me being able to tell them exactly where it was they were unable to find it, so it was clearly either stolen by staff or the next guests. I was gutted! But just to demonstrate that it is possibly to stupidly leave an extremely expensive item behind and for it to go missing.

(However, your friend should definitely replace your Airwrap with a full priced version - I would have done had my dyson hairdryer belonged to a friend)

OP I've just had a thought and I think it's something you need to look out for, there are a lot of posts so hopefully you see it.

There are a lot of fake air wraps available. I wouldn't put it past her to keep your real one and send you a fake one.

I would insist on her giving you the money and you buying it yourself .Especially if there are any future issues with it you'd want to have bought it yourself in case of any warranty/returns etc.

The shopping trip won't happen. The borrower won't go, will be be in a rush, won't have a credit/debit card or enough credit. The early hours message is her trying to guilt trip the op into letting the matter drop. All the borrower has to do is click on the appropriate link. Now why won't she do that?

No I don’t think they can be friends after this. My main concern would be getting a pukka replacement and if this was a way of achieving that I’d do it.

“The only thing that I’ll be leaving in 2024 is our friendship if I don’t get my Airwrap back”

I would definitely do this! Your friend cannot be trusted.

PLEASE send her this 😂

This, 100%.

Is she still persisting with the imaginary road trip back to the hotel? What utter BS. I'd be furious at someone insulting my intelligence to this extent.