Should she replace it? Part 2

[Langarg]

Starting the new thread ahead of hopefully having an update soon!

Do you think it was stolen from the hotel room? Surely they'll have cctv?

Not aimed specifically at this poster as I’ve seen others warn she may keep it if she drops OP as a friend - but I don’t get why it’s a seemingly accepted response that if a friendship ends the borrower gets to KEEP the item belonging to the lender 🤷🏼‍♀️ it wasn’t a gift, it was borrowed for her wedding - a finite loan that had a clear start and end date, it wasn’t to borrow it until she could buy something herself which could drift on and on. If this was a romantic relationship I get how ppl would be on the fence over the returning of an engagement ring or birthday handbag etc - I don’t understand why anyone could possibly imagine just bc a friendship ends they get to keep a high end item like this that was never actually given to them. It is THEFT.

My father had a pair of very expensive hand-made shoes stolen from an upmarket Knightsbridge hotel. He simply told the management that he would be going to the police to report it and the shoes re-appeared, beautifully polished, overnight.

Honestly . I’ve just left a friend in 2024 .
Years ago I wouldn’t have noticed the manipulation when calling someone out on something .
If they can’t sort it out like adults then not worth worry about .

She is trying to get sympathy “poor her”
Always about them never you .
Friendships work both ways. .

Get your dyson back from her then block. Hardly a wedding if it's just 4 people 🙄

And let me guess… the only way to have kept the “shine” on her wedding would have been for you to overlook £500 worth of your property that she failed to return?

If you lose or damage something worth £500 then yes it will take the shine off an event to some extent. So be more careful.

A wedding is about two people committing to each other. Not about the number of guests. I find your comment unnecessary and judgemental.

Sorry you feel that way.

I did the same after thread 1, researched both and went with the dyson as the dyson is quieter, less hot (yet holds the curls better) and is easier to use with the buttons being in a better position. The shark seems to be better for the hairdryer function but everything else the dyson sounds like it's better.

I don't think you sound cynical, sounds like a big old guilt trip to me. I detest it when people use guilt trips. Have you sent the 'Happy New Year, where's my hair dryer' message yet? Or did I miss something on the last thread and you already have it back?

While the 'friend' is clearly out of order, I'm surprised the number of people who think she's stolen it. Not noticing a blue item on a blue carpet and walking off without it, then not realising for a while is exactly the sort of thing I would do.

How she's dealt with it is another matter!

"Dear (friend).

After your message sent to me this morning I have spent today reflecting on our friendship. I considered you to be a good friend, so much so that I lent you an expensive item that you lost. Your refusal to transfer the £ to buy a replacement or offer to buy a like-for like replacement leaves me to conclude that you don't value our friendship at all which has saddened me. As far as I can see you now have 3 options 1) transfer the £ so I can buy a new one, 2) you buy me a new one, 3) I take you to the Small Claims Court. You have 7 days to do either option 1 or 2. If no replacement (or £ for one), is received by then, I will begin the process of starting option 3. Whichever you choose our friendship is over."

Or summit like that anyway.

How she's dealt with it is another matter!

And it’s how she has dealt with it that has shown that it’s very likely that it was not innocent. If you had genuinely forgot it at the hotel then you would have went back before now or asked for someone else to go for you if you couldn’t. Not left the owner of the item hanging for days/weeks and sent a message hinting that the OP is at fault for pushing for it to be returned

She has form. She borrowed it, decided she would try to keep it and now the owner is pushing back which the CF borrower didn't expect. We know it's not been left or stolen at the hotel. It's in her house. Most of us on this thread just know or have known people like this.

Well no, I don't it follows that her attitude must mean she stole it, just the she's selfish, inconsiderate, lazy, cheap and a crap friend. You can be all those things without being a thief.

Don't think I've shamelessly placemarked before but this thread warrants it 🤣

I'd be taking a look to see if a Dyson was suddenly going cheap on the local selling sites Op- I'm sure you'd recognize her phone number. I'm afraid I don't believe someone forgets a £500 hair dryer and doesn't go back to get it.

This would be me at this stage.

This awful woman has obliterated the friendship and is continuing to treat you like a fool with her whiny shit.

I wouldn't trust her to replace it - she's shown she is dishonest and self-serving. You'll get a second hand one or a dupe.

You need the original that she'll magically retrieve from the hotel, or £400 (I know it was £500, but you can buy new for the lower amount right now - she should count herself lucky).

One thing to note is to keep all your messages to her factual and polite. If she doesn’t replace then the small claims process is fairly straightforward and those messages between you both will essentially be your evidence. You don’t want to go off on one if it has to be read out…good luck!

Bumping this - screenshot everything incase she deletes her messages

So she treats an object lent to her , worth 500 pounds as a toy to steal, forget or lose? And the friendship also and meaning she still deserves someone to praise her wedding ...also why you have not been invited to the wedding...

if this was me and I’d genuinely done this I’d of bought a replacement and then gave it you explaining what had happened
I do wonder the significance of the 2nd? Has she kept it for NYE and is now going to say she’s drove there tomorrow and now has it.
or she’s just plain decided to keep it.
I definitely don’t think she’s genuinely lost it but even if she had she is obligated to replace it ,even if she apologised profusely and had to save to replace it that would be better than this rubbish!
it’s awful.
and now she’s trying to guilt trip you.
shes a shameless chancer.

I think if you borrow something expensive, lose it, make the owner chase you for two weeks before telling them, suggest the owner themselves pays for a cheap 2nd hand replacement with an offer to pay them back later, tell them the hotel has it, yet the hotel when contacted directly say they've heard nothing about it, then send drunken messages at 3.00 am saying lets leave this in 2024....
Then that is stealing it. Borrowing something and not returning or replacing is stealing, even if the item is lost. You can't hire things from hire companies and not return or reimburse.

I think the "Friend" is hoping that OP is so soft that she will write it off as a wedding present, if guiilt tripped enough.

@anothermnuser123 Dyson it is then! I'm going to invest in one and never let anyone 'borrow' it.

OP I have a feeling yours is going to miraculously re appear.

The fact is, if you have some basic human decency, you don't steal, don't behave like a stupid moron not keeping an eye on your belongings in a hotel and definitely if you broke it, you say Sorry, give it back as it is and pay for the replacement. Even if you had to go into debt. This is how real life works.