To complain about a GP calling me this?

[lolit]

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

My mid wife called me darling twice today - I couldn’t care less as long as she was doing her job well.
did chuckle when she went out of the room tho

I’m usually pretty thick skinned about this kind of stuff but I think it would be reasonable to bring it to the attention of the practice manager by way of feedback, without making a formal complaint.

I took my 15 yo son to the GP recently and he had an examination of his genitals. As DS got dressed and came out from behind the curtain, the GP said “good lad”. I thought nothing of it. He was, as intended, putting a teenager at ease.

The difference is that you’re not a child. You may be much younger than your GP (I’m guessing he’s an old man) but he should treat you as an adult and address you as such. “Good girl” is condescending if not misogynistic.

@SilenceInside Also amazed at how many responses here are excusing this kind of comment and berating the OP for daring to have a problem with it.

Probably because these kinds of issues are raised by people who need to look for problems. Oh how I wish my life was so problem-free that I could spend time looking for problems in how people address me.

@shuggles no... pretty sure that's not it.

Anyway, this thread was very helpful, even the comments telling me to get over myself helped me see how normalised this is, which is exactly why I need to put in a complaint. I need to do my small part in changing this because it is NOT OKAY.

I have written my complaint and will send it tomorrow. I will not be returning to this thread because I need to spend my NYE doing something positive instead of thinking about this.

I’m a HCP and regularly listen to peoples chests, examine them, etc - I will generally ramble niceties and reassurance when I examine children as they’re often very nervous, and try to move through the examination as fluidly and casually as possible, so I’ve checked everything before they’ve really even realised i’ve done a great deal. So while I do the examination I’ll chatter away to them in this soft and gentle, sort of continuous motherese, along the lines of “I’m just going to have a little listen to your chest, is that okay sweetie pie, lovely, shall we get mummy to lift the back of your top up for me, good girl, this might be a little be cold on your back, there we go, nice work, you are so brave, let’s just pop this little machine on your finger, lovely, can I check your temperature, brilliant, there we go, all done”.

So I definitely use “good girl” sometimes in my clinical practice, and I’m sure on a particular busy day it could slip out to slightly the wrong age patient. But I’m a woman, and if another woman said that to me accidentally - I’d probably take it in the warm and motherly way it was intended (whether chronological age made that a bit odd or not) - but from a man to a woman/girl - I agree that it has some different connotations or possible extrapolations.

Don't complain. Do email the practice manager saying that calling adult women "good girl" is something that should not happen in a professional setting, and please could he/she have a word with colleagues..

Why is that so unusual that it made you laugh? Do hospital staff not normally use such terms of endearment?

I've been called "sweetie" and "love" by healthcare professionals many times.

Yes, I imagine it’s quite deliberate.

@lolit Anyway, this thread was very helpful, even the comments telling me to get over myself helped me see how normalised this is, which is exactly why I need to put in a complaint.

Dear lord.

I suppose the clinic isn't busy enough already and they need more stuff to deal with.

Do they still use a lollipop stick on the tongue when checking the throat?

Well done! There is a depressing underbelly of society who try to shame people who stand up for what is right.

if more people are prepared to call this short of shit out then it will get harder and harder for people to get away with it.

Everyday sexism is depressing - and hopefully by the next generation women won’t have to tolerate and
excuse this sort of nonsense.

This was my first thought when I saw this. It struck me as potentially having sexual connotations. I agree you should complain.

Same. Not a hill I would choose to die on.

Well done!

The OP doesn’t seem to suggest they are making the complaint because they thought it was patronising or misogynistic. To
me it reads as though the OP thought it was a sexual advance (may not be the right term but that’s how it’s coming across) in which case a complaint would be justified.

100% report the comments here are mad

Oh fucking hell.

I have been called more “ offensive “ stuff than this. 🙄

It's not a hill anyone would die on. It's a straightforward situation where the GP surgery will deal with the complaint/feedback in their normal way.

That’s awful. By your GP? What did he/she call you?

Don’t send it as a formal complaint until you’ve taken a pause and decided that it’s a really good use of at least 8 hours of GP practise time to deal with your complaint.

You might feel it merits that.

Or you might feel that some informal feedback might be more balanced.

Or you might decide that viewing it in the context of several commenters who could see themselves making the same comment that it’s not actually a big deal.

Or that you feel vulnerable during examinations and may benefit from requesting a chaperone in future.

How old was is? And how old are you? I'm just wondering if he was viewing you as somebody similar to his daughter.

Bad but outing. .

That would make me puke. I’m bolshy so I would have asked him why he uses that term with patients and do the male patients being called good boy accept that?

I thought all GPs had to have another person in the room when carrying out intimate examinations, to protect themselves as well as patients.

I had a breast examination by a female GP and she asked another female staff member to be present.