To complain about a GP calling me this?

[lolit]

He called me a good girl while examining me. Should I complain or am I overreacting?

It was someone saying something that made them feel uncomfortable - about my GP that saw him imprisoned for catastrophic abuse against female patients. Just saying. Before everyone days you’re hysterical - you’re not. They at least need training.

It's a bit weird for him to say it but I have been guilty of saying things without thinking!

As a teacher I have called kids love, sweetheart, mate, good boy ... I don't mean to say them and don't do it often but sometimes my mouth works before my brain ... I don't do it often but sometimes they slip out.

@surreygirl1987 It's not misogyny though it's at best, a difference of personality type and at worst, two words said in the heat of the moment! On one occasion! Not repeatedly ffs!

@lolit How precisely was he sexist?! 😂

This 👆 A grown up conversation at the time would have educated him.

Do you think he would have said good boy to a man? Be serious

What more detail do you need to deem this inappropriate? He’s a doctor and called her ‘good girl’ in a sexual way whilst examining her. That should be enough.

If you're young, then that's likely why he perceived you as a "girl"...

It's benevolent sexism. Trivialising women by calling them girls.

I have never called a work colleague, a direct report or a boss good girl, mate, sweetheart, love, pet, or good boy. Because they aren’t children.

i see children as lesser - i don’t see adults in the same way. I respect adults and use their names. Children are entirely different and how you relate to children in your class should be entirely different to how a GP relates to adult patients. I am sure you can see the difference between adults and children.

Why didn’t you say it to his face, op, instead of hiding behind an arms length complaint?
You still haven’t explained what sort of “vulnerable position” you were in that precluded this.

He might have said ‘good lad’!

Congratulations

You see children as lesser

I think it's highly likely that he would refer to a young man as a "lad," yes.

Men are referred to as "boys" all the time. I've worked with women in differing contexts who referred to male colleagues as either "boys" or "lads." On TV, I hear various football managers refer to their players as "the boys."

I'm not sure why any of it is offensive.

Sounds like he is 90 😂

Because in that moment he made me feel uncomfortable so I shut down and just needed to get out of there. I was in a vulnerable position because it was during an examination.

Yes - in that I am the adult and they are the child. It’s not patronizing to call them affectionate phrases and to stop them from doing things that may cause them harm.

I would step in to stop a child playing with a knife for example but I wouldn’t do the same for an adult. I believe society has a significantly greater responsibility towards children because they are vulnerable and need our care.

Lesser was perhaps the wrong phrase. But they have less capacity to cope in the world and aren’t independent. So they need adults, need guidance, need supervision. Competent adults don’t so we as a society treat them differently. Don’t give them the same freedoms and rights.

Also amazed at how many responses here are excusing this kind of comment and berating the OP for daring to have a problem with it.

Of course it's ok to contact the GP surgery and make a complaint about this. Of course it's ok not have said anything in the moment, when something like this takes you by surprise it's totally normal not to have a reply immediately to hand. Of course this kind of comment is patronising and sexist.

My male dentist held my chin and jaw in a way that made me feel very vulnerable. I raised it about 10 minutes later at the time and he said I should have said something. But I had a meltdown because he put all the responsibility on me. It was awful. I completely understand why you didn't say anything at the time.

It is absolutely the case that guy should make a formal complaint as your situation is way worse than mine. I won't be seeing him again.

So you admit to saying a wrong phrase it's funny how humans do that isn't it. Oh the irony 🙄

Are you deliberately evading the question of which part of your body was being examined he said this? Because he could have been examining your knee! Which would be totally different from him examining your breast then saying it.

But my point remains - we treat children differently than adults because they have less capacity.

and I have have three glasses of wine sitting at home. I am not a GP seeing patients😊and edited to say you comparing a GP’s comment’s to an adult to your comments to small children also makes my point😂😂😂🍷

A mysterious "examination"

Not really. The kink community is larger than you'd think. Obviously people don't talk about it. And it's become more popular since Fifty Shades/internet porn.