My take as someone with a lifelong social anxiety disorder, who can not predict how I’ll respond in a social situation from being able to mask how I’m feeling and take social confidence, to basically being unable to talk and wanting to run out of the room.
But I still occasionally venture out into social situations, sometimes cos someone I care about wanted/needed me there, or because I was trying for the 17,472nd time to be a functioning human.
If I’d been the person you’d approached (unlikely as I have a massive RBF, which my wife knows is actually Scared Shitless Face, bot others would see as Go Away Face) I might have been able to sync up and go through motions to please the social norms, but equally I may not have been able to and could have been as limited in my responses as he was, or worse.
As I said I can’t always predict how I’ll respond, thinking that someone (I’m not saying you or them mean to) is judging me on how socially skilled I’m not being, will always make worse.
The thing is, as difficult as you found it, I would have found it 100 times worse. You didn’t, OP, doing anything wrong, but equally I dont think he did either. You both didn’t match up in regard of social interaction, and went your separate ways. No home, no foul.
Where I disagree completely with you, is in the judgement and ‘fuck of’ nature of your appraisal of the encounter. In those sort of situations I have no right to expect people not to talk to me or ask questions, but equally you have no right to expect a particular response from me.
You asked for a tip or ice breaker, well I can’t give you that, but I can share what’s more likely to make things easier for me, if you really do care about engaging with ppl with social anxiety disorders like me.
Ask fewer questions, and talk more about yourself, the pressure is lowered for me to ‘engage and share’ and I can learn about you, which I do genuinely enjoy, and warm into the interaction, and gradually share more of myself.
if you don’t want to, fine, I don’t think you should, I don’t expect that, but for me, and I’m sure others like me, that would have the best chance is success.