To be disturbed by 11yo girl with piercings and pink hair in IKEA

[lover99]

How can anyone be so unhappy with the way their daughter looks that they would wish to change everything about her?! She must be homeschooled as well (which I also disagree with) as I can't imagine a school permitting it.

She had 2 cheek, nose, lip and eyebrow piercings.

She can't have been older than 10, and no, she was not a young-looking adult. She was 10 or 11 and 100% pre-puberty. The smoothness and porosity of a child's skin was unmistakable: she was under 11. I work with children and know how they look.

This is so desperately sad, it's just another parent-influenced performance of adult femininity on a young child, to me. This is why females will never be free. Why would you want your daughter to look so adult?

I try really hard not to judge mothers as parents, but I am tested daily.

I don’t see how you can be so sure of age though

Try harder to mind your own business.

I expect she was older than you think and it’s the holidays so she could presumably dye her hair in any way she likes.

You have no idea how old she was.

How can you be sure of age?

There's all sorts of medical conditions which make someone look very young and small

It’s the school holidays so dye may not be permanent.

How do you know what age she is, and not what age she looks?

Piercings could be fake and I think a lot of children, teens and adults want to experiment with hair colour which does no harm and isn’t permanent.

I am really amazed by how many adult friends you guys have that look 10 or 11. Fascinating as I know not one such person.

So many assumptions and judgements here. God forbid she be allowed to express herself in whatever form she wants, and why would it be her mother’s fault automatically?

Bound to have been older than 10 or 11 but a 10yo is criminally responsible so probably could reasonably choose a hair colour if it’s not permanent.

I try really hard not to judge mothers as parents, but I am tested daily.

This says more about you than anyone or anything else.

You really can have no accurate idea or how old this person was.

No just no. Piercing leaves a mark. Fashions change. Remember those ridiculous large holes teens were putting in their eat lobe/stretching them. I remember seeing a German girl on holiday no more than 14, her ear lobes touched her shoulders!!!

Those piercings arent even legal at that age and cheek piercings are complex to do.
I would guess your age assumption is either way off or it's clip on/stick on piercings.

You have absolutely no clue how old she is , my daughter is petite and at 15/16 without makeup could easily have passed for 11/12 , very often when we were out people would query when I asked for 2 adult tickets to things / places . MYOB .

How do you know she is homeschooled ?
How do you know this is the parents' fault ? They may be despairing at what their daughter is doing to her appearance.
Maybe they have accepted it as she has troubles in other areas of her life and this makes her happy.
Maybe she was adopted from a very neglectful and abusive birth home and this is her way of coping.

Basically, you have no idea.

I was in a nail salon the Saturday before Christmas and there was a small girl (I’d guess about 6) having a set of false gel nails put on with nail art.

The judgey part of me thought how sad little girls can’t be little girls and she’s too young.

I'm not sure how you know that the parents are unhappy with the way she looked or that they have done anything to change her. Perhaps these are her choices.

The Mum had the same sort of style so it was likely influenced from her.

I expect they where clip ons and semi hair dye as it's the holidays. None of your business

Can you link me to where one would find a clip on cheek and lip piercing?

It could easily be an older child, my dd was short, still is fully grown, so easily passed for 10/11 at 15/16. Her face didn't really start looking like at adult until recently, mid 20's (she took full advantage of child travel tickets )

This.
Can't think there are many piercers around who would risk their business to pierce a minor.

An abused child is everyone's business, this attitude is what causes cases like baby P.

You are not being unreasonable not to like them. You are very unreasonable to make judgy assumptions with no evidence! You can't possibly know about homeschooling, or how much input the girl had into what she looks like, or even if they were real or temporary.

She probably is a bit older than 11 but also I'm not sure a punky look is really about femininity 😂

I have an 11 year old with hair and piercings that probably wouldn't be allowed in school too.

They are all over Amazon