To be disturbed by 11yo girl with piercings and pink hair in IKEA

[lover99]

How can anyone be so unhappy with the way their daughter looks that they would wish to change everything about her?! She must be homeschooled as well (which I also disagree with) as I can't imagine a school permitting it.

She had 2 cheek, nose, lip and eyebrow piercings.

She can't have been older than 10, and no, she was not a young-looking adult. She was 10 or 11 and 100% pre-puberty. The smoothness and porosity of a child's skin was unmistakable: she was under 11. I work with children and know how they look.

This is so desperately sad, it's just another parent-influenced performance of adult femininity on a young child, to me. This is why females will never be free. Why would you want your daughter to look so adult?

I try really hard not to judge mothers as parents, but I am tested daily.

*most definitely

The person in question is 10, not an adult or teen, who would not be cause for scandal. Hope this helps

You said you looked at her for a few seconds. You have no idea of her age.

Grow up

I know you think you can tell, but there’s simply no way you know from your self-professed three second glance how old this child was, or whether the piercings were real, or any other pertinent information.

I appreciate that it was startling to see, and most posters here would probably also raise an eyebrow at what appeared to be a young child with multiple facial piercings. But you have to accept the limitations of what you know vs the actual reality of the situation, which is something you’re only making assumptions about.

The absurdity of comparing what you saw to Baby P is self evident, and in fact if you did think that what you saw today was in any way comparable to the prolonged torture and murder or that little boy, you would have to report what you saw to the police or else be complicit in the abuse of a child. The fact that you’re moaning on mumsnet instead of calling the police proves how silly a comparison that is.

Here is one of about 500 hits that came up on google

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/335463777091?chn=ps&_ul=GB&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&var=544893361113&google_free_listing_action=view_item

Let people enjoy things.

Sounds like she looked weird but maybe that was the look she wanted. What can you do? Her body, her choice. People have the right to look how they want.

You can get them on amazon, Ebay easy etc. Literally just Google fake face piercings and thousands of results come up. Can also get semi permanent hair dye that washes out after 2 or 3 washes. Not sure why you fond it hard to believe that these exist.
You come across as very judgy. It's not your business how a random child chooses to express themselves.

This is disingenuous nonsense. If you believe this child is being abused then starting a thread on Mumsnet is not the correct response. You should be reporting it. But of course you didn’t and won’t because you don’t think it’s abusive and you are just on a wind up mission here.

As @lover99 is omniscient, I probably don't need to tell them that even the the most basic Google search will show fake piercing options (including dermals).
But, @lover99 is here to judge (if not troll), this info sharing probably isn't their thing.

You're seriously comparing piercings and hair dye to beating a baby to death? What's wrong with you?

Well you’d probably think I’m a terrible parent then. 4 year old DD currently has pink and purple hair (we used hair chalk). She begs me every school holiday to let her have her hair a different colour. She loves it and it does no harm and washes out. It might still be a slightly pastel pink by the time she goes back to school but the school have never had a problem with it before.

The piercings were probably fake, google stick on face piercings. No place would pierce a child’s face.

Conjecture and supposition

The hair I am indifferent to, but I don't think cheek and lip piercings are appropriate for that age, and in my experience most piercers won't do them on children - some won't even do them on 16 year olds. So it could be they are fake.

1. she must have been older than 10/11. I haven’t heard of anyone giving a child those sorts of piercings under the age of 15/16
2. I work in a school that would allow all of that, all they care about is the children attending school. If you worked with teens, like you say, you would know there are teens that look a lot younger than they actually are. Same as teens looking older. Porosity of skin aside.

No piercing shop i know would do cheek piercings on anyone under 18, like nipples and genitals theyre age restricted.

What was the response from the police when you rang to report you’d identified an abused child?

What a bizarre thought process you really have

OP has gone very quiet all of a sudden 😂

I try really hard not to judge mothers as parents
You judged the homeschooling so you don't try very hard.
Was dad there?

Wow

I have seen lots of people over the years, both paediatric and adult, and what I have learned is that it is a mistake to think you can reliably tell age from appearance. Obviously you can tell a baby or a toddler from a 10 year old, and a teenager from a 5 year old, and an octogenarian from a twenty year old, but it gets blurry a lot younger than I had assumed.

There is a massive range of ages for the onset of puberty. Delayed puberty to 16 is uncommon, but it isn’t rare.

One of my daughter’s friends easily looks 6 or 7, even in the playground where you can see her against actual 6 year olds. Another looks like she could easily be doing her GCSEs. 3 months of age difference between the two.

I always looked very young for my age, and had the annoying situation of being asked if my mum was in when answering my own front door and of regularly being mistaken for a student at work into my 40s. My little sister is also frequently disgruntled, as people often assume she is the oldest. She is the youngest by 16 years. It’s just my eldest brother is ridiculously young looking (people still sometimes can’t believe he is old enough to have adult children, but he’s into his 60s).

And alternatively, yes, you could be spot on with her ages but have you seen the multiple links for temporary faux-piercings that people have posted?

I try really hard not to judge mothers as parents, but I am tested daily

Translation: I get a kick out of feeling superior to other mothers because it’s one of the few ways I can feel good about myself.

I know it’s not really acceptable so I try to keep a lid on it IRL but it comes pouring out on Mumsnet.

I think you'll find this treasure of an OP doesn't even have kids but she does work with them and is a champion counter of pores so obvs her opinion trumps everyone 🤣