Who is living life the right way?

[flowergirl24]

Sister A and Sister B met up over the Christmas period. Their lives have gone in different directions and they are both late 30s. They both have 3 DC.

Sister A works 60 hours a week in a stressful job. She manages to take the children swimming at the weekends but they don’t do activities after school during the week. She has invested money in rental houses, and is concentrating on being able to have a better quality of life in the future.

Sister B works 8-10 hours a week. She has ponies and the children enjoy riding after school. She is not focused on a career at all, but does a lot of driving the children to after school activities. Sister B has expensive cars and is living for today, with no concern for the future.

Who is doing life right?

Driving the kids to places. Yuck. Live life with them if you have money for a car and time to drive

I’m hoping to work for another 10 years and then retire.

Yes, that’s is completely normal in my industry.

What...and then buy back the time you missed with your kids working 60 hours a week??

I KNEW IT!!

There is no right way to live anyone's life. There are certain economic resources (each parent's income and hours, family wealth etc) and certain set of lifestyle choices available to different people.

You're jealous of your sister and trying to justify your life choices.

If you're unhappy in your life now, make changes.

"Comparison is the thief of joy".

.... everyone did...

I’m a civil servant. That’s not normal, maybe occasionally for a big deliverable but not all the time.

It might be normal but it’s ridiculous.

If hours like that don’t come with massive financial rewards it’s not worth it.

If you don’t have a nanny and cleaner then you’re just running yourself ragged.

Each sister is living the life that is currently right for her. Sister A must be utterly exhausted though.

And will this be worth it and definitely happen

Including me.

You could have come and sat my round my bonfire instead of pissing on it

I'll pop round and interrogate you by asking your name ...

Sister B is doing the right thing by her small children. Sister A is doing the right thing by her older children 😁 ideally we could all do both - leisurely slow life while DC are young and more money, wealth and financial support for older DC. Alas, most of us must choose one or the other.

I chose the slow life - but their dad is wealthy enough so I'm hoping he'll sort them out when they're older!

I am surprised you have to do extra work in the evenings as a civil servant. I used to work in CS in a relatively professional role and didn't know anyone who took work home.

A and B are both doing right by their children, just differently.

@cherish123 It's never crossed your mind that there might be different types of roles in an organisation that size?

DH works in the CS and often has to drop weekend /night evening plans to go back to the office

I work in a civil service adjacent field now and still often get emails from people (often other mums) working in the evening/at weekends, either civil servants or local govt.

I climbed the career ladder working evenings after the kids were in bed as a single mum in the CS. It transformed our lives, I went from homeless with a baby and toddler to home owner with decent savings and equity within a decade. (Then met now DH).

The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

“This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

The ant and the grasshopper story would point in the other direction though.

We none of us know how long we have left, but building up a sensible cushion of security is also important.

Striking a balance that is right for you and your family is all that matters. Noone's "right" balance will be the same as there are so many different variables.

Sounds like some kind of riddle with a prize at the end for guessing the right answer 🙄

But in your scenario I was sister B but without the ponies and the fancy car. We had low outgoings and a lovely life . Money isn't everything.

It sure does help if shit hits the fan though.

Yeah. Money helps a lot. Those who say it doesn't bring happiness etc have never really experienced being without.

I don't care if it doesn't bring happiness. It pay the bills and affords positive experiences and freedom.

Please hush up now with your money Doesn't equal happiness.

But did OP say that B's family are struggling for money? Maybe they are better off as a family anyway, if B's DH earns more than A and her DH put together?