Husband never getting up with kids!

[idubo]

He's off for a couple of weeks and I literally have to beg for him to go down with the kids, otherwise he just won't.

I had to go to work yesterday and he still only got up, 3 minutes before I left the house and also said I was only going to the office to get away from him and the kids and I could have worked from home. It's like he thought I was going on a jolly..

Today is another day and again, I've been up with the kids since 6-6:30 am and he's still not up.

It's been like this almost every single day. It's like this at weekends too. How can I change the pattern ?

I'm sick of doing most things around the house and being responsible for everything child related.

Kids are going to grandparents house today for her night stay and I just know that I will be getting them ready, I'll be cleaning the house before we leave ( from yesterdays absolute tip he left it in ) and all he will do is get himself ready.

The other day we went out with the kids and I got myself ready, the kids ready and cleaned the house in the same time it took him to get himself ready and I was still needing to wait in the car for him.

I am just sick of the dynamic. Then when he does get up, he moaps around in his dressing gown. I hate dressing gowns. The other day he came down, had breakfast, left everything out ( often happens ), never empties the dishwasher either. Then his brother came, he had some breakfast. My husband went upstairs to get ready and they both left, leaving everything out on the table.

They came back 6 hours later. I just don't know how to change it, without constantly fighting.

This reminds me of the (good) advice I got for handling toddlers.
"Do you want to go to the park and feed the ducks or visit the library and pick a book". Limit choices to make them feel in control.
It seemed fine for children, but I might resent having to do this for a grown man.

My ex was like this and I often felt like his mother.. he was so lazy, always got kids to school late etc. However he was never late for his own events/work.

Life is easier without a man child.

Make a list of the positive and negative things about staying with him or leaving.

When it's there in black and white you may feel better informed about what is best for your mental and physical health as it sounds like or you continue as you then a breakdown of some kind will inevitably happen.

You still haven't got rid?!

Sorry, you seem to have married a man baby. If he cant sit with you and have a reasonable discussion about your marriage and sharing of the responsibilities you have both created I would suggest relate. Being married is to be part of a team.

What would happen if in the morning rather than you getting up with the children and going elsewhere with them, you get yourself ( not him!) a cup of coffee and just get back into bed to drink it there, letting the children play with toys in that room with both you and your husband? Might be hard for him to sleep through? Then perhaps he’d be more interested in thinking about a turn taking system for lie ins? Just a thought.

I think relate have gone bust!

Tell him you don’t want a third kid and if he doesn’t change you’ll send divorce papers. Then he’ll be forced to do 50% of everything.

Hi Op. My children are the same age and I have the same issue. I think in 4 years, DH has done the morning 4 times-
each Mother’s Day.

I am at breaking point. I’m exhausted. Every day I wake at 5.45 with the children and do the morning madness to get the children to nursery and then I work full time.

DH always says I like mornings , he will help ( but never does . He is always quite calm and acts like I’m over the top asking for help. I realize now it is because I am constantly exhausted and he is not.

i honestly feel like I am ready for him to leave.