Should I ignore this text

[Mulberrytree20]

Please tell me if iabu and a bit cold.

Split from ex 2 month ago. Felt like it weren't working. Felt she wasn't nice to me, constant digs. Her DC caused drama i Felt and I did not like her ex parented her. Dc came across very spoilt and entitled (she's now a young teenager). Felt like me and my DC never came first and it was always what she and her DC wanted first.
Me and ex have been messaged a little but not much. Tbh I felt so relieved and happier after I left. Ex wanted me back. I met up with her a few days ago to give belongings back, we had a brief chat about our Christmases.
I received a text late last night saying she's had to sit with her DC because she's inconsolable that we are no longer together. Ex said she feels we have let our children down and wondered if I could speak to her DC to let her know I'm around if she needs me.
No offence but most of our arguments were because of her DC behaviour. I'm quite happy with the way my life is now. I feel like ex is trying to emotionally manipulate me into feeling bad (nothing new there)
Aibu to just ignore this text?

I would just move on. It all sounds hard work. YANBU

Ignore and block

Sorry for spelling errors!

How long were you together?

Probably yes. However if you did want to reply for the sake of politeness I'd say something along the lines of 'sorry to hear DC is having a tough time, however, given the circumstances I don't think it's appropriate for me to have that conversation. Take care '
Short, sharp and to the point with an ending that implies no response needed or required

Ignore it. Sounds like you don't want to be part of your stepkids life and that's fair enough and something your ex should have thought about at the time of getting together with you.

Yeah that's probably the only text you can send really. To the point. Factual.

4 years

My DC is younger than hers but tbh he doesn't seem too bothered that we don't see them anymore

Ignore it. It’s her way of saying let’s get back together but not discuss any of our issues because it’s for the kids and not me

Text back

you need to be there for your dc and I need to be there for my dc, let’s just leave it there.

then cut ties for at least 60 days

I'm just so fed up on her emotional mind games. I think she thinks ill feel bad when in actual fact I feel angry she's text me that

Block because she's a narcissist looking for her next drama fix. She needs to be in control & you've disarmed her by ending the relationship. She doesn't like this, the narcissistic personality trait thrives on drama & control. She wants to renew the cycle of chaos and is also training her daughter to be similar.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Narcissistic-Women-Concrete-Healing-Abused/dp/B0875YCC8D

You know in your gut what's right. In this case ignore text. You moved on

And it's also highly possible her DC hasn't made any comments about missing you/joined up family. The narcissists I've known have easily lied by pretending their DC said something- always conveniently to their advantage...

I think it’s the ex that wants you back and she’s using her child as an excuse to keep in contact.

I would text back that I was sorry her child feels that way and that it looks as if staying in contact is doing more harm than good as its sending mixed signals to them both. Apologise that it seems to have turned out this way but you think it’s for the best if you have a clean break and cut all ties.

Keep any anger you’re feeling out of it. You can’t control how another person feels and keeping in contact can give mixed signals.

Yeah, ignore. It’s emotional blackmail.

You don't owe them anything and it sounds like you're better off without them. Either send a brief message along the lines of 'Sorry your DC feels upset, but I won't be able do that for her/you. Wishing you both all the best going forward', followed by blocking, or just block without replying at all.

I would text back “I’m sorry you feel like we’ve let our children down but I don’t feel the same way. We’ve demonstrated to them that you shouldn’t stay in a relationship that isn’t working which is a positive thing. I think it’s best we concentrate on supporting our own DC and have a clean break now.” Then block.

or they’ve mentioned it so much that the DC now believes it’s what they believe and feel. I have seen that happen too many times. My sister does it with her own children.

No response whatsoever necessary. Ignore. If she keeps contacting you, then ignore and block.

This is why the block button is there. A clean break is kindest to her too - no mixed messages.

I would block and ignore.

I hope you have a brilliant 2025. 💐

Thanks, I did start to think she had narcissistic traits. I know people throw this word around now but I've seen alot of her behaviours and it's in line with alone of this types of personality

This is the more likely case. She prob mentioned she got the house key back from me yesterday and got upset and in turn upset her daughter. She would sometimes mention things that I don't think she should have in front of her daughter