to bail on NYE plans?

[clotheshorsess]

I made plans today with friends for NYE. They had loose plans to just hang out at a friend's flat. I was very enthusiastic. I agreed to make brownies and spinach dip.
I now don't feel like going. Is it horrible to just make up a random excuse and not go? I already made the food and I was thinking of dropping it off early tomorrow for the group. There will be 9 other people there if I do not go.

Do what makes you happy...and make that your new years resolution! Happy New Year x

I don't go anywhere I don't want to go, but that's me! I equally know I wouldn't enjoy this in the first place so I've found the confidence to say no straight away these days. Often I'd agree,already knowing I'd have to go through the agony of either going or letting down, and I've found the confidence not to that anymore. As an adult, I don't see why you should go if you really don't want to

Drop the food. Go home.

Happy New Year!

I think as a rule most people enjoy these things once they get there, even if they feel reluctant, and regularly cancelling social plans make most people unhappy and isolated.

However, that is just a general rule - if you’d be happier with a quiet night in and your own company, given there’s a gang of people going, you can pull out without much worry.

Oh you might enjoy it once you're there. The thought of going out to me is much worse than actually being out usually. Can you go but say you've had a headache all day so not sure how long you will stay?

What changed so quickly that you suddenly don’t want to? You were very enthusiastic and you made the food… why don’t you fancy it now?

No you shouldn’t, you made a commitment and you should stick to it. If everyone said yes then did what you are planning on doing and just dropped out it would be shit for the host. You read stuff here all the time about people having parties where no-one shows up. What are you going to do instead anyway, just lie about your house. No doubt you can do that most of next year. You’re a long time dead, just go, you might just enjoy it!

When the topic of what is everyone doing on NYE came up on the group chat I was very much YOLO etc. I didn't want to go at all but I've been trying to force myself to be more social and find a balance. I barely see them. I dont mind it I like my quiet life and I have a gym, work, chill routine thats very comforting.

We used to have lots of fun as a group together when we were younger and maybe it's the nostalgia? I also dont fancy getting myself home so late after a few drinks.

I agree. I feel its good character to stick to ones word and not abandon plans because one doesn't feel like it anymore? I just realllllllly dont feel like it at all.

You may feel like making the effort tomorrow?

You want to see them. You hardly see them. It’s NYE. Go!

You don't have to stay til after midnight, I'd give it a go and come home early.

Generally if I commit to doing something I'll do it as I know when people flake on me it's annoying and rude. I think if you put time and effort into your friends then it's returned. It's entirely up to you though. If you are generally reliable and really don't feel up to it then just give them plenty of notice and be honest that you don't want to go. However you probably will enjoy yourself once you're there and be glad that you made the effort.

Me too - rey not to get myself in these situations any more.

Op you may have to tell a white lie as to why you aren't going.

I’d go - if I say I’m attending something, I attend unless there’s a very good reason not to. Some of the best nights I’ve had have been those I forced myself to attend because I wasn’t in the mood.

Then don’t drink and drive hime.

"white lie"?

Either she lies or she doesn't.

If you said you'd go you should. You don't have to stay for the whole evening if you don't want to I suppose. In future perhaps you'd be able to assess more carefully before you commit yourself.

I think it's really crap to agree to do something then bail personally.

And you're a long time dead also.

Have you done this before?

If you're the person who is up for it then bails on the day then you're getting a reputation. You can do this once or twice but after that, you're the flaky one.

If it's your first or second bail, then it might be OK, but I would suggest showing up and if you really can't stand it then leave with a headache after an hour / midnight.

Its obviously up to you but I don’t really get the “barely see them” logic - surely that’s a reason to meet up with them? I don’t really understand why friendships are only deemed valuable if you see each other constantly. You never know, it might lead to more regular meet ups.

If you really don't want to go to the party at least drop off the food you made, be really apologetic and say you're not feeling well.

That way the rest of the partygoers will be aware that you made some effort, instead of just not showing up at all.

.

@clotheshorsess Ah I think you should go, OP! I mean, what you gonna do instead? Night in, in front of the telly? You could do that any time! Go and enjoy yourself 🥂 🎉

@Starseeking

who wants to eat food an ill person has made though??

It's a bit weird to go to all the effort to drop the food off, especially as it's not anything that's major you've done. I'd just eat it at home and say I thought I was coming down with something and didn't want to risk making everyone ill.