to bail on NYE plans?

[clotheshorsess]

I made plans today with friends for NYE. They had loose plans to just hang out at a friend's flat. I was very enthusiastic. I agreed to make brownies and spinach dip.
I now don't feel like going. Is it horrible to just make up a random excuse and not go? I already made the food and I was thinking of dropping it off early tomorrow for the group. There will be 9 other people there if I do not go.

This

You've agreed to go, so go.

If you enjoy it, it will help you get over your aversion to socialising. If you don't enjoy it, it will help you to say 'no' to things you don't want to do in future.

I 'm sure you're not the only who wants to bail out of NYE plans. Grit your teeth. I am! Happy NY.

Can’t stand it when people flake at the last minute because they “don’t feel like it”.

If you have serious MH issues that mean sometimes you genuinely feel too anxious/overwhelmed etc to go out, that’s one thing. But just “don’t feel like it” nah. You said you’d go, so suck it up and go.

Don't go but then don't expect your friendships to grow and deepen , don't come back on 2 years saying you are lonely

It's very rude to accept an invitation and then bail out. And unfair on the host

Rude and flaky. You should go, but make it a new years resolution not to accept invitations if you can't be bothered having friends.

This would be such a rubbish thing to do.
You say there will be others there but there's a good chance at least one other group will have a genuine reason they can't go, and then the host has put work in for only a few people to turn up. It feels shit, I have been there.
Last year friends were supposed to come to ours and canceled last minute and it was the worst nye. My kids were in tears too.

I'm wondering how you see the food drop-off in the morning going?

"Just dropping off this food, I made it yesterday but when it came down to it, I just couldn't be arsed spending the evening with you. Happy New Year!"

Go and have fun OP!

You need to go. It’s rude and unfair on the hosts to bail out at the last minute. I have people in my life who are unreliable and I now don’t take them into consideration when planning anything.

I had some devastating news myself yesterday and the last thing I feel like at the moment is tonight’s festivities but I’m committed. I’ll slap on a smile and host my party.

If you don’t want to go don’t go. But then don’t expect anyone to turn up for anything you organise.

It’s fine if you don’t want friends. But then don’t agree to go to anything in the future. People will soon stop asking you.

I haven’t organised anything in over 15 years. I can still remember the initial excitement of planning a big birthday party followed by the disappointment of people flaking out one by one on the day. All ridiculous excuses. Even a few years back I dreaded my own wedding because I was picturing everyone dropping out. (Only 2 couples did).

People always seem to think they’re the only one who will flake out so it’ll be fine. But what if everyone else feels the same as you then no one goes?

So yeah. Don’t go. But be honest with them why. So then your friends can choose whether to bother inviting you in the future. Don’t keep friends as a back up just for when you have fuck all else to do.

I've been the person who felt like bailing, sometimes I've even been the person who bailed, and I've been the person being bailed on. The last of those feels really shit, and made me resolve never to be the first person unless I really feel physically or mentally incapable of socialising. There'll be nine other people there but what if another couple feel the same as you?

Also, 90% of the time forcing myself to get off my arse and out the door ends up in a brilliant night out, no matter how lazy and tired I feel.

Not so sure brownies and spinach dip are a good combo tho'!

My new years eve plans are up in smoke because my husband has this bug going round and I can start to feel it brewing in me. C'est la vie! Do what makes you happy.

Yeah, just do what you feel like doing at all times and with no regard for anyone else.

I would go but only for an hour - set yourself a time limit, eg I will go at 7 and leave at 8pm. They are my friends so they will understand.

I agree. DD has had a couple of friends bail on her for tonight. She feels very let down.

Unless you’re actually ill I would go.

You may well enjoy it more than you think you will.

You don't have to stay long after midnight.

You will be helping to make society less flaky. Mumsnet is full of threads from disappointed hosts. You don’t know who else will drop out.

I can’t stand this attitude of just “do what makes YOU happy” at the expense of everyone else.

Obviously if you are actually unwell that’s a totally different story.

But just “I don’t fancy it anymore so I’ll bail on my friends” is just treating your friends like crap. And then people wonder why their friends aren’t there for them later on. Relationships take work. In order to have friends you have to be a friend. Sometimes you need to put others first. Not at the expense of your own health or anything. But if someone has put a lot of effort into organising something and you don’t bother turning up because you can’t be arsed anymore then just be honest with them why so they can be sure not to ask you again.

Well said @WatcherWatch

YABU

If you've said you will go then you should keep your word and go. Can't stand flakey people who change their mind at the drop of a hat and let people down.

@WatcherWatch I agree with what you've said.

I think it'd be really unfair on your friends who are probably looking forward to spending their NYE with you. We can't just always justify letting people down because we don't want to do things.

I say go tonight, and then make your new year's resolution to think it through before accepting invitations.

@WatcherWatch totally agree. There's more of this attitude nowadays.

I have a core group of friends who I sometimes see together but 2 I'm very close to. I can totally rely on all. Also have the flaky outer circle. I barely bother with them now.