to bail on NYE plans?

[clotheshorsess]

I made plans today with friends for NYE. They had loose plans to just hang out at a friend's flat. I was very enthusiastic. I agreed to make brownies and spinach dip.
I now don't feel like going. Is it horrible to just make up a random excuse and not go? I already made the food and I was thinking of dropping it off early tomorrow for the group. There will be 9 other people there if I do not go.

Just go. You'll probably love it. You're in a rut. They'll be so happy to see you.

You've misunderstood. Surely the poster means "don't drink, and then drive home"?

Please can I have the spinach dip recipe? Sounds lovely!

There will be 9 other people there if I do not go

What make you think that? Suppose they are all like you?

If I've said I'll do something then I do it barring proper illness or emergency. Partly because I feel really upset, paranoid and rejected when people cancel on me and partly because I am so socially anxious/awkward that if I went with my gut I'd never go anywhere. It works for the best (imo) on two levels - it ensures I have a life and also I just think it's the polite/right way to be.

So, while I agree it's up to you, I think you should go because you said you would and you'll probably have fun. You can always leave fairly early if you don't enjoy it.

Flaky. What if everyone did that? I hate people who bail for no or pathetic reasons, you’re letting people down. Don’t agree to go in the first place.

Not fair on your friends to just bail.

You don't have to stay the whole night.

Don’t start a new year doing stuff you don’t want to do.
Everyone gets a few ‘I’ve got the flu’ cards in life and if you don’t want to go, NYE is one of the times you’re well entitled to use one. Do what YOU WANT to do.

Yep that's totally weird. Lying and food giving 🤷‍♀️

Well it is rude and unfair on the host to drop out last minute once you've committed, but IMO even worse to then lie about it. Have some respect for them and say you're just not feeling like going out if that's the truth of it.

It seems like a common trope on MN for people to advise 'say you're sick, say this, say that'. Just grow a backbone and tell the bloody truth!

What has happened in the past when you agreed to go to something, then didnt feellike it but went anyway? How did that pan out?

Go for an hour and leave saying you are tired if you don’t like it. Last minute cancellations are miserable for the host.

It's awful to make commitments and not go. Only doing what you want is fine up until you say yes. You'll soon have no friends left if you continue down this path.

Go, try to enjoy it, it'll probably be good unless a load of the others are flakes too. Next year say no, then maybe you can have a last minute change of heart.

It seems like a common trope on MN for people to advise 'say you're sick, say this, say that'. Just grow a backbone and tell the bloody truth!

I agree. Keeps relationships authentic.

It is exceptionally rude to cancel plans for no reason.

Just go. You are anxious that’s all and you need to go even if just for an hour. Things get even harder if you don’t face them.

go for an hour and see how you feel. Then go home if you want to. Then you’ve kept everyone happy including yourself x

I can lie at the drop of a hat if I don't want to go to something, but if I say I am going then I go. People who bail at the last minute are flakey - unless there is a good reason to do so. If it was a huge party then that's not so bad, but with a small group it's really not on.

Of course you don't have to go. But if you don't, at least some of the other nine people will think you are flaky and be less likely to invite you to future gatherings. Would that bother you?

I cannot abide flakery. I am fully supportive of people living how they choose & support friends who choose to spend time alone. But
If a plan is made. Other than severe illness or unforeseen emergency I would find it a dereliction of friendship to drop out.
It's bloody rude & selfish & far far too common in these days of WhatsApp & texts.

I wouldn't forgive or forget

Go and drop the food. Stay an hour and see how it’s going.
You could leave at 10 and just be honest .. say you’re exhausted/hate NYE or whatever you feel is really happening inside. I am entering 2025 with a new belief that you should do what makes you happy

I hate it when people cancel at short notice so i’d go if i committed to it, and would probably have a good time. Can you go for a few hours, come home before midnight?

Just go. Leave early if you're not feeling it.
You may be at the age where these kind of invites are regular, but if you don't make an effort they soon drop off. If you're feeling anxious about going out, giving in to that feeling will only make the anxiety stronger in the long run.

Yes op deleted their response.

Really flaky to bail at this point for no good reason

I would make the effort to go, even if just for a little bit.