Should she replace it?

[Langarg]

My friend asked if she could borrow my Dyson airwrap for her wedding as money was tight and she couldn’t afford a hairdresser. It was a small wedding with only her, her DH and two witnesses. I reluctantly agreed (bit of a people pleaser).

The wedding was two weeks ago, we exchanged a few messages back and forth the day after her wedding. A few days later I asked if she could please return my airwrap and she didn’t reply. I messaged again saying I really need it back as I don’t have a hair dryer anymore and solely use this to dry/style my hair and she eventually replied saying she accidentally left it in the hotel however the hotel are claiming it wasn’t left there.

She was very apologetic however didn’t offer to replace it or give me the money for it. I raised this with her and explained that I shouldn’t be left without my airwrap or out of pocket for her mistake and she said that she couldn’t afford to replace or give me the money for it. She then sent me a link to a post on Facebook marketplace of someone selling an older model for £150 and said that if I buy that she can pay me back in 3 monthly instalments.

I don’t want to accept this because firstly why should I be out of pocket £150 and risk not being paid back and I don’t want an older model when I had the newer one which cost me nearly £500 less than a year ago.

I explained this to her and she said she is going to be forced to put a brand new one on her credit card which will put her in to debt. I feel awful but I really don’t know what to do?!

Please give me some advice…

YABU = buy the £150 older model and hope she pays the 3 monthly instalments
YANBU = accept her offer of her buying a replacement on her credit card

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Air wraps are better, and can be used for styling hair multiple ways.

No undercover work at the hotel, no ludicrous emails with exclamation marks and guilt-tripping (surely the posters suggesting these are taking the piss, nobody could actually communicate like that in real life) just say ok then credit card it is, here’s the link to the site you need to buy it from.

You probably know by now, OP, that this person isn't actually your friend at all. She has treated you like a fool at each turn and is still expecting to get away with it.

"Please put the replacement on your credit card as agreed and ensure it's sent directly to me. I'll complete the guarantee documents when it arrives (read: you don't want a cheap rip off). Can you copy all purchase emails to me for my records and so I can track delivery? Cheers."

And then cease contact. She's not a good person, OP.

P.s. I also think she's found the thread. Hope it makes sobering reading.

She needs to buy you a brand new one and be very apologetic. Her suggestion is incredibly cheeky and unfair.

It's a no brainer. She owes you full restitution. If she has carelessly lost it (or nefariously sold it!) she needs to replace it like for like. And should be apologising a lot for the inconvenience.

Id be mortified if lost it if that was me and replace even if yes it meant putting on my credit card putting me debt.

I take it you didn't go to the wedding either? She can afford hotels and meals out but not a hairdressing tool? Your friend sounds a bit unreliable I would say yes thank you, it was lent to you in good faith and you've lost it please purchase it and let me know when you have. I look forward to receiving it shortly. I would then check very carefully as you might find it in a brand new box but the old model (which many have said they suspect she has kept inside!)

There’s no comparison between the flimsy bit of tat you get in a hotel room and a Dyson which is the Rolls Royce of hairdryers - and styles as well.

Whether she lost it, kept it or sold it, the dryer was not hers in the first place. The point is that she has not returned it and has offered an old version. Dig your heels in, insist on a replacement by a certain date and if it’s not received then provided you have evidence that she has admitted she lost it, I would be taking it to the small claims court. Accept the friendship is over as real friends would have rung you immediately they realised it was gone and told you they were arranging a brand new replacement of the same model. Disgusting behaviour towards a friend good enough to do her a favour.

I'd have thought that if money were of so little object someone would spend £500 on a hairdryer, it wouldn't be an issue.

Mine was about £30. It does the job. We are extremely comfortable.

She's probably kept it for herself and the older model on marketplace is her old one she wants you to pay £150 pounds to her for.

OK Op I have just seen how much they are. Check with the hotel to make sure she has actually checked with them.

My best bet is that she is keeping it. Make her buy a new one.

As they are so expensive I wonder if you can report it to the police if she ceases contact.

What wouldn't be an issue? If money were of so little object? OP has every right to treat herself to a nice hair dryer/styler.

😲

I bet I know why she’s reluctant to buy a new one. If she stole it, she still has to pretend it’s lost to you. She can’t just pretend that your original hairdryer is the new one, but if she has to spend £500 for a new one she might as well have just bought it for herself rather than stealing from you as she would have technically paid £500 for a used hairdryer 🤣

She won’t buy you a new one, she’ll either claim that she can’t afford it or she’ll claim she’s suddenly found the original

Would you be saying the same if someone borrowed your diamond earrings? It would be so easy to say it wouldn’t be an issue if they were lost, after all cubic zirconia is just as good.

An airwrap isn't a "hairdryer". It's a styling tool. It's basically a hairdryer, curler, smoother, and hot brush in one. It's also completely irrelevant and there is no logic at all in an attitude of "you paid £500 once so obviously can afford it again".

Op treated herself to something expensive. That doesn't mean she could or should have to spend the same again because she was kind to a friend that then either lost or stole it.

Out of interest, if Op had loaned her £500 cash, would you be saying the same?

£500 wouldn't be an issue on the basis that one must have far more money than sense to spend £500 on a hairdryer.

If a person can spend £500 on a hairdryer, surely money is not an issue and there must be plenty of it. That's fine, but for the very wealthy £500 matters no more than £50. If it does for the op then she has tiddled money up the wall and shouldn't have lent the item in the first place.

Bonkers!

She’s an absolute twunt. I too think she stole it. And if she did lose it, it’s her own fault for approaching you and asking to borrow a £500 appliance, then not looking after it properly. If I ask to borrow a Porsche on my wedding day because I can’t afford a car and chauffeur, I don’t get to wash my hands of any responsibility if any harm comes to the car whilst it’s under my care. This “friend” obviously can’t be trusted.

I wouldn’t lend my diamond earrings to anyone. Not even dd.

Are you the "friend"?

It’s not your business how OP spends her money. The “friend” is bonkers to borrow something she can’t afford to replace, then not look after it properly.

Jealous, much?

The mental gymnastics you’ve done here are incredible.

It is quite clear that your posts are ‘bonkers’. Utter nonsense.