AIBU unreasonable OH being ridiculous

[Weddingbells6]

Competely understand this is a 1st world problem and of little significance to most people but it’s a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ for me.

I was building Lego for our son and had the torch on my phone on. I accidentally shone it in OH’s eyes momentarily. He said ‘you shone your torch in my eyes.’ with a look of complete annoyance and disdain and took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes like I had blinded him.

i told him it was a complete accident and that it wasn’t likely to happen again but honestly he’s made me feel completely crap and useless.

He hasn’t felt very well today but honestly I do so much for him and he’s not poorly enough to not be on his phone / watching TV. I’ve brought him coffee from the shop and taken some of his returns to the shop because he gets anxious about doing it himself. I got up with the kids and haven’t asked him to do a single thing all day.

Would it have killed him to not mention it or seem so annoyed? Knowing it was a one off and a complete accident?

I feel like walking out if I’m such an inconvenience. See how convenient life is without me. Sounds dramatic but I’m honestly sick of him.

Edit: I spoke to him and he said ‘it really hurt.’ Is that even possible? 😂

Take yourself off for a walk and break

Then say if you want to give feedback please ensure it's appreciative as well as critical and angry

Sounds like everyone has spent a bit too much time together and back to work will be much needed!

Do you find yourself saying "oh fuck off" under your breath when he talks...

Your reaction is unreasonable. If you accidentally as a one off hit him in the face with a cupboard door expect him not to be hurt?

Well let’s just say when he said he didn’t feel well this morning my first thought was ‘couldn’t happen to a nicer person’ 😂

My DP buys a new torch every few weeks (no idea why) and tests out every new one by shining it in various directions, inevitably including in my eyes. I know it’s not on purpose, but it is annoying. So I’m wondering if you actually apologised, because in your post you didn’t mention apologising. If you haven’t yet apologised then you should.

There’s clearly a backstory here, because I’d have apologised, even if it was an accident. Same as I’d apologise for treading on DH’s foot or something. It’s just basic manners.

And yes, a torch light in my eyes would actually hurt.

Yes, it does hurt when people shine a torch in your eyes. Did you apologise?

I mean your mad he didn’t like the fact he had a torch shine in his eyes and said it hurt.

yeah it does hurt even if an accident.

Do you genuinely think a torch on a phone momentarily in your eyes can actually hurt? Serious question. If you do then I will accept the comment but if you don’t really believe that then we’re dealing with a very calculated man that wants me to feel bad about something that didn’t actually hurt.

Of course I would feel bad if I believed I hurt him, after 14 years together those things have happened and I’ve apologised profusely.

'The straw that broke the camel's back' says that there is a huge back story to this. I'm guessing that he is always useless, negative, selfish and takes you for granted.

You can leave for any reason you want, and being sick of him is a very good one. Don't let him drain you any further.

Yes, a bright light shining in my eyes can actually hurt. No idea if it’s universal, but it’s not unusual.

I get a headache when someone shines a torch in my eyes. In my dd it can trigger a seizure. To some people it's not just a nothing

It was an accident, you should have apologised.

I get that this weird week between Xmas and New year is prime time for getting on each others nerves though.

I did. But a torch on a phone isn’t as powerful as a normal torch I wouldn’t have thought. I’ve just shone mine in my own eyes to check and it really isn’t worthy of such a dramatic reaction from him.

If he is unwell, a bit fluey, then it's quite likely that a sudden unexpected light in the eyes could have hurt.

But you sound very pissed off, does he generally do his share of the housework and parenting?

I do think it can hurt, yes, and you mention that he wears glasses, so his eyes may be more sensitive.

Yes it does really hurt when you shine led lights in someones eyes. I find it painful.

Thanks. Well just the fact that I’m building the Lego and he’s sat on his bum is enough to get on my nerves on top of the fact that he got a lay in etc etc etc. You basically know exactly how fed up I am and really the post is completely useless because I know what I need to do really.

Maybe some people’s eyes are more sensitive than other people’s. A phone torch is still bright enough to hurt. Why won’t you apologise?

If you’ve reached this level of petty in your relationship you really should just call it quits.

(I still say it hurts.)

He does hardly anything and he knows it. He ought to be grateful I’m still in the same room as him to accidents shine a light in his eyes let’s put it that way.

I did.

I did but I don’t believe it hurt him the way he said it did.

He sounds like an arse..I have a lot of experience in them.

Any point to continuing such a relationship considering your updates.