AIBU unreasonable OH being ridiculous

[Weddingbells6]

Competely understand this is a 1st world problem and of little significance to most people but it’s a ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ for me.

I was building Lego for our son and had the torch on my phone on. I accidentally shone it in OH’s eyes momentarily. He said ‘you shone your torch in my eyes.’ with a look of complete annoyance and disdain and took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes like I had blinded him.

i told him it was a complete accident and that it wasn’t likely to happen again but honestly he’s made me feel completely crap and useless.

He hasn’t felt very well today but honestly I do so much for him and he’s not poorly enough to not be on his phone / watching TV. I’ve brought him coffee from the shop and taken some of his returns to the shop because he gets anxious about doing it himself. I got up with the kids and haven’t asked him to do a single thing all day.

Would it have killed him to not mention it or seem so annoyed? Knowing it was a one off and a complete accident?

I feel like walking out if I’m such an inconvenience. See how convenient life is without me. Sounds dramatic but I’m honestly sick of him.

Edit: I spoke to him and he said ‘it really hurt.’ Is that even possible? 😂

😂 tickled me

Phone torches are crap I know cause just been on an evening walk, little one had head torch on I had my phone torch which did sod all in comparison

It's not the norm and it's obviously not healthy. Most people I know look after their ill partners, and get looked after in return.

Yanbu OP. I would have zero patience for such dramatics over a light briefly shining in his eyes. Ridiculous. What a baby.

Well feel free to cope with your crap marriage by taking it out on internet randoms rather than doing anything about it, no skin off my nose.

I think your reaction is more ridiculous to be honest. I think 'Argh! You shone that right in my eyes!' has always been my response to that happening to me. And vice versa when I've done it to my DH. It does hurt and leaves you unable to see properly for a bit. And the appropriate response is 'oh, shit! Sorry. It was an accident'.

If your response is wanting to storm out and leave your DH I'd say you have bigger issues going on!

He kicked a ball into your chest. He sounds borderline abusive really. I had an ex like this, he shoved me out of the way once because he was irritated am I fell to my knees. Other time he would just go”play fight” with me but I could tell he wasn’t really playing. He never apologized and always undermined my feelings but the same thing never applied to him.

You sound contemptuous of your dh and don't believe him so it's unlikely the relationship will survive much longer.

But you can’t judge someone else’s pain threshold. A phone torch light actually hurts my eyes and gives me stars for a few minutes if it catches my eyes

From only knowing you,from what you've written, I'd say he had a slight overreaction to the situation at the time and you've overreacted to that reaction. If my dh said that to me, it wouldn't make me feel "crap and worthless"....I'd just think to myself "yeah, whatever 😂" and go about my day. Of course I realise we're all different, I just wouldn't give it another thought. Unless it was another 100th dig of the day and things weren't going well anyway??

I know it’s ludicrous! Someone likened it to a running torch earlier but she seemed nice so I didn’t respond to say it’s hardly the same. It’s the same light as the flash when you take a photo of someone but he really was wounded.

The light on the remote control is brighter than the torches on most phones. He’s being an arse.

Ps.. He sounds utterly pathetic and I’d be telling him so too. Ick!!

It really isn’t.

This whole thread is a bit weird. So obviously a lot of back story but you are unwilling to share, so we are going to debate how bright phone lights are all evening? What are you looking for OP? Help with your relationship issues? Validation he was over reacting? Advice on how best to build Lego…?

I’ve had some experience of trying to use an iPhone torch recently and they are shit! Literally no chance it caused him discomfort if he’s a normal person.

The only person who over-reacted is the OP.

She shines a torch in his eyes (which does hurt, especially through eyeglasses)

He says ‘you shone your torch in my eyes’ took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. All a very normal reaction.

OP’s response instead of saying oops sorry was “it was a complete accident and that it wasn’t likely to happen again but honestly he’s made me feel completely crap and useless.” !! (In front of their kid)

Flying off the handle. So he is now supposed to apologise for her shining her torch in his eyes?

In the rest of the posts it’s clear she resents her DH and feels mostly contempt for him. When things get this bad, it doesn’t look good for the future of the relationship or the children.

I use mine regularly and they can hurt when you’re not expecting to be zapped directly.

Ugh he sounds like such a wet wipe. Too anxious to go and do his own returns but believes he’s an “alpha”? Next…

That’s total bullshit.

FFS you are both being babies. Yes, having a torch shone in your eyes is uncomfortable but he might have overreacted a little due to feeling unwell.

However you are maasively overreacting by acting like him making one comment is ruining your day. If he was still griping about it hours later, sure, he’d be being ridiculous but it seems like he said one thing at the time and hours later you’re still stewing on it.

You clearly hate him so just wrap things up.

Unwilling to share? Is there something specific you want to know?

Why did you need a torch to build a Lego anyway 😅

Just wondering are you in a tent? I normally build mine on the dining table under a bright light.

I’ve got bad eyes. Might be all the accidental torch incidents 😂

You must have missed the bit where I left him in bed to rest and brought him a coffee from the shop and did his Christmas returns because he gets anxious about doing them himself. He’s pretty well looked after I would say. But you’re right it’s probably pretty toxic that I feel the way I do, you’ll have to take my word for it that I wasn’t always like this.