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Original poster

My mums dead

122 replies

Whatayear2023 · 28/12/2024 23:36

My mum dropped dead boxing day night.
She was only talking to me fine went to the loo and heard a bang. I did cpr for almost 20mins until first responder came. They took over but kept telling me she's gone.
Had to stay with her body until police came then the undertakers
I'm heartbroken I keep crying all the time
She was all I had.
I would go there every day take her food every day clean up wash her dress her and she was my best friend not just my mum.
But now I'm called the grand daughter which technically I am but she had me from a few months old and it's hurting no one sees me as her daughter and watching family who never bothered taking stuff and keeping on about how much they getting I feel sick.
Is there a way to just stop the crying I try and it keeps coming and I've had 2 panic attacks today

OP posts:
Outofthere · 28/12/2024 23:38

I’m so sorry.

Annabella92 · 28/12/2024 23:39

Oh love, I'm so so sorry.

RechargeableGnu · 28/12/2024 23:39

You cry as much as you need to.

Big hugs.

Crazyclover · 28/12/2024 23:40

I can’t help but I am sending you love and strength, these situations can bring out the very worst in people and even though you are ‘the granddaughter’ she will always be your mum xx

FoxtonFoxton · 28/12/2024 23:40

I'm so sorry.
My uncle found his mum in similar circumstances, although it was too late for him to try CPR. He had counselling to deal with the aftermath of feelings and guilt which really helped and is what I'd suggest to you. Much love to you.

WomanIsTaken · 28/12/2024 23:41

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers. You sound like a wonderful daughter.

WTDAC · 28/12/2024 23:41

I am so so sorry to read this. That sounds awful, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
It sounds like you were a loving daughter.

TheDowagerCountessofPembroke · 28/12/2024 23:41

Oh my love. Do I understand that she was your grandmother but she brought you up?
Are there any other family members who would be more understanding?

No one should be taking anything before the will has been sorted.
Is there anyone to help with the funeral arrangements?

Bilingual · 28/12/2024 23:42

I'm so sorry for your loss! She is your mum and you are her daughter ❤️

HowMuchShouldBePaid · 28/12/2024 23:43

Oh I'm so sorry , such a huge shock.

To have had to give cpr to your mum (that's what she was) ,please don't underestimate the impact that will have on you, on top of the grief.

Splendud · 28/12/2024 23:43

I'm so sorry. Sorry also that your family are being so heartless. Would you like to tell us about her?

HollyIvie · 28/12/2024 23:43

I'm so sorry. What a terrible shock for you. please give yourself time to process what has happened and I hope you have some support around you.

way2serious · 28/12/2024 23:43

I am so sorry. You are in shock and you need to see your gp. You need time to process what has happened and to grieve.

Hedgerow2 · 28/12/2024 23:44

What a terrible terrible shock for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sounds like your mum spent her last hours on earth with the person who loved her most - try and take some comfort from that.

Mnetcurious · 28/12/2024 23:44

I’m so sorry to read this. Just let the tears flow, it’s normal. Over the weeks there will be less, then less still over the months then years. But right now it’s raw and so painful. Do you have a friend who can support you? You can always call Samaritans for a listening ear about anything.

Reinga · 28/12/2024 23:48

I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing for you to have experienced.
You gave your Mum a wonderful gift by taking care of her so well, like she took care of you. I'm sure you both had a very special bond.
Be gentle with yourself, you've had a terrible shock on top of deep grief. You might find counselling a benefit to you while you're coming to terms with what's happened.

murasaki · 28/12/2024 23:48

Oh lovey, you are her daughter in all the ways that matter. I am so sorry for your loss.

Joeylove88 · 28/12/2024 23:50

So sorry for your loss OP 💐 of course she will always be your mum and you her daughter x

LittleMG · 28/12/2024 23:52

You poor thing I’m so sorry. I’m in the same boat, I lost my mum suddenly in November and she was my best friend. I loved her so so much I know what you’re going through. I probably cry only once a day now but it’s a hard road we’re on. I’m struggling to accept it. Try and do some calming meditation off of YouTube it helped me when I was in a really bad way x

BenditlikeBridget · 28/12/2024 23:53

Oh you poor thing.
I don’t think you can stop the tears- just let them come and go and know that they will eventually lessen. Grief is physical and chemical as well as emotional.

FoxInTheForest · 28/12/2024 23:55

I'm so sorry. Its clear how close you were and how much love she must have felt from you, not just throughout bringing you up but also you being such an amazing daughter as an adult.

MyPithyPoster · 28/12/2024 23:55

How lucky she was to have a wonderful daughter like you. Caring for her right until the very end, not everybody has that kind of love. I’m sure she was very grateful for it.

Icanflyhigh · 28/12/2024 23:58

I'm so sorry for you my love. Take time, cry as you need and lock the door to the vulchers xx
No one has any right to enter and remove anything right now xx

CountryMumof4 · 28/12/2024 23:59

Oh crumbs - I'm so sorry for your loss :-( It sounds like you were very close to your mum. Whether or not she was biologically is neither here nor there and your family etc. should respect that. Please do consider counselling - it sounds like it may be helpful over the next few months, particularly after having given your mum CPR. Sending lots of love and hugs at this incredibly sad time xx

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