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Original poster

My mums dead

122 replies

Whatayear2023 · 28/12/2024 23:36

My mum dropped dead boxing day night.
She was only talking to me fine went to the loo and heard a bang. I did cpr for almost 20mins until first responder came. They took over but kept telling me she's gone.
Had to stay with her body until police came then the undertakers
I'm heartbroken I keep crying all the time
She was all I had.
I would go there every day take her food every day clean up wash her dress her and she was my best friend not just my mum.
But now I'm called the grand daughter which technically I am but she had me from a few months old and it's hurting no one sees me as her daughter and watching family who never bothered taking stuff and keeping on about how much they getting I feel sick.
Is there a way to just stop the crying I try and it keeps coming and I've had 2 panic attacks today

OP posts:
Mangocity · 28/12/2024 23:59

I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful mum. She knew how much you meant to each other and that's all that matters.

I suggest you cry as much as you need to. Your body is in a state of deep shock and if that what it needs to do, so be it. If you can make sure you eat regularly, don't let your blood sugar levels fall too low, you'll be doing amazingly. Try to reach out to anyone you know who might be supportive and sympathetic. If your distress is unmanageable and leading to dark thoughts, please go to the DR as an emergency and spell our what's going on your head. It's the only way they can help.

If there's something you can bear to do, like walk, go to the gym, go to a friend's house, this would be a good moment to build all those things into the structure of your day.

You've had a terribly difficult shock. This won't be easy. You have all my sympathy.

CharlieBoff · 29/12/2024 00:00

Oh my love, I’m so very sorry. You cry as much as you need to, and I’m sending you love x x x

Sockmate123 · 29/12/2024 00:00

Oh gosh I couldn't read and not reply. You poor, poor girl. My heart goes out to you ❤️ have you anyone you can talk to? A partner or sibling? Friend?

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 29/12/2024 00:02

So sorry for your loss. You have clearly been a wonderful and loving daughter to your dear Mum.

Emelene · 29/12/2024 00:03

I’m so sorry for your loss. Would it help to tell us more about her? Your love for your Mum shines through your words xxx

M103 · 29/12/2024 00:03

So sorry for you loss Flowers You sound like a wonderful daughter.

Fleurdalys · 29/12/2024 00:03

So so sorry darling 🥲

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/12/2024 00:04

I am so sorry for your loss. Please try to grab a couple of keep sakes. They don’t have to be expensive items, just something to remember your mum by before everything gets spirited away. You sound like a lovely and devoted daughter. Flowers

Doughline · 29/12/2024 00:04

Oh no. I'm so sorry. Massive hugs to you.

HonoraBridge · 29/12/2024 00:08

I am very sorry. Wishing you well.

youngoldthing · 29/12/2024 00:08

Oh love I am sorry. You sound like an amazing daughter and I’m sure you were loved behind measure by her. I can understand your grief being compounded by not being recognised as her daughter but remember she saw you as that and that’s all that matters.

i don’t have any advice but I would give you a big hug if I could.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 29/12/2024 00:08

I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You cry as much as you feel like - there’s no right answer to anything to do with grief. You’ve had a really tough time, but your mum is looking down on you and hugging you tight.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 29/12/2024 00:09

I‘m so sorry this has happened to you. You are safe. You are safe. I know you feel frightened but you are safe. You were with her. That will mean so much in time. Breathe in for 7 seconds and breathe out slowly for 11. What a scary experience for you. We’re all here. Keep speaking to us. Xx

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 29/12/2024 00:09

Oh this has broken my heart so I can only imagine how you must feel

I'm so so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you, her daughter, meant just as much to her as she did to you. I know it's of little comfort but if you can remember how much you were wanted and loved by her, it may help you summon some strength for the next few weeks

May she rest in peace

🥺❤️

mrswarthog · 29/12/2024 00:10

I'm so sorry for your loss xxx

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 29/12/2024 00:10

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 29/12/2024 00:09

I‘m so sorry this has happened to you. You are safe. You are safe. I know you feel frightened but you are safe. You were with her. That will mean so much in time. Breathe in for 7 seconds and breathe out slowly for 11. What a scary experience for you. We’re all here. Keep speaking to us. Xx

This - it's a late one for me and dd tonight, so please feel free to share as much as helps you x

Maddy70 · 29/12/2024 00:10

I can't imagine the pain you are on. It doesn't matter what you are technically called. You know the relationship you had with her. Everything else is a technicality. I'm very very sorry x

LoudPlumDog · 29/12/2024 00:11

My daughter who was 21 years old died exactly the same way seven weeks ago, devastated.
im so sorry for your loss.

Fraaances · 29/12/2024 00:13

Oh Darling, so traumatic and frightening for you. Please try and organise some trauma counselling asap. As a first responder, I can’t tell you how vital this is for your well-being. I’m so sorry for your loss. Over time you will be grateful that you were on the scene and know that you did absolutely everything humanly possible to help her.

VoltaireMittyDream · 29/12/2024 00:13

My heart goes out to you. What a wonderful daughter and best friend you have been to your mum. ❤️

JenniferBooth · 29/12/2024 00:13

@Whatayear2023 im so so sorry Flowers My dad died in October and that is exactly how ive described the waves of grief. Like panic attacks

Puffydippy · 29/12/2024 00:14

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I lost my mum 2 years ago. Right now you're in survival mode, you just need to get through the next few days/weeks however long it takes. Let the tears come let the panic come and pass through you, don't fight it. Its an unsettling and uncertain time so its natural to feel afraid. You will get through this, just take it one minute at a time.

DaringlyPurple · 29/12/2024 00:15

I lost my mum just after Christmas 7 years ago. She was a great mum and I still miss her. I am sure your mum loved you a lot too. Is there a will? The executor should step in and those vultures have no right to walk off with things. I am assuming we're not talking of small keepsakes. Can you throw them out and lock up the house? My mother's neighbours who, to be fair had helped her to stay in her own house longer than she otherwise would, had keys made off with her copper bottomed saucepans and new towels. It was just awful.

strawberrysea · 29/12/2024 00:15

I am so sorry.

Saphire123 · 29/12/2024 00:15

You were a wonderful daughter and friend. You were with her till the end, that must have been so comforting for her.
I am so very sorry for your loss.