Just let the crying and agony come through, it won't kill you even though it feels like it will. It's a process, the beginning of a path to healing. You never get over the sense of loss, but it softens with time, and often sooner than you think. This stage is (whilst different for us all) where the universe tips up and we howl at the pain, but it is natural.
Never feel as if this is bad for you or inappropriate, there is no timescale to recovering from loss.
Healing is eventual acceptance. You never 'accept' the loss, but it becomes 'known', the newness of it evens out, and you develop, naturally, a new way to negotiate it.
Put no pressure on yourself at all.
Don't allow anyone to dictate or prescribe for you.
Aside from hurting other people, literally anything goes right now, so forgive yourself and flow with it.
It is agony, but it will ease, in it's own way.
It's a long process, it will change every week, month, year. Eventually you will develop new routines and small rituals that will honour your loss. I send you lots of love, stranger or not, and wish you strength and self care.
Take it as it comes. And be good to yourself.