(Apologies with how long this is, trying to sum it all up)
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now.
He's funny, affectionate, social, good communication etc. I'm just struggling with the financial situation that is making me want to break it off.
So I'm 26 and he's 40. He quickly moved in with me when he didn't actually have his own place.. not planned but just happened.
He promised to pay towards rent, only did for less than 2 months. He was then asked to leave because he kept promising payment that never came.
Fast forward and we're still seeing each other, only it's nice to have my home back.
He then took my car over a toll bridge and didn't even have the £2.60 to come back over it again - I then got lumbard with the £60 fine. I kept asking for him to pay, he never did.
We went for a meal with his friends that he said he was paying for. I ended up having to foot the bill with him saying he'll pay me the next day as the money hasn't gone in his account or something, he never did.
He then promised he will pay for a set of nails in return for a big favour I did for him and nothing despite having asked since. This might sound trivial but it's the whole saying things and never going through with any of it.
He showed me where we were going to go on a family holiday (I have one child, he has two) - in the end his children's mum took them instead because she probably knows what he's like!!
He showed my parents this beautiful hotel he said he was going to take me to as my birthday treat back in July. Still waiting. Although before this he got me excited showing me a different trip up country and enjoyed telling everyone about it without delivering on it.
Heck, there's even a restaurant he said he will take me to for our first date.. still waiting.
I do feel he's got good intentions but I'm not sure how much longer I can go on with a carrot dangling. He hasn't written any of these things off, it's still in the pipeline because they cost money. Fair enough I thought as I like him for him (clearly not his wallet!) but it doesn't stop me feeling let down and disheartened by it all.
I feel like I've spent the year of our relationship just waiting for things to happen. Coming to me excited about things and holidays only for nothing to ever materialise - I'd rather him just not mention it at all than get my hopes up.
Now he wants to book for us to go to a hotel for New Year's Eve. Of course I would love this but with him owing me money (and other people money), I'd feel more respected if he sends that back to me than keep splashing the cash. Honestly I think I'm going to feel rather resentful if I do accept the hotel offer before he has paid me back what I'm well overdue.
Do I just end things here? I have quite a list accumulating and I keep holding on for the best but not sure how much longer I can carry on.
YABU - you like him as a person and I should be more understanding over the current financial situation.
YANBU - it's not fair to feel consistently let down through empty promises.