Shared disability toilets with baby changing facilities

[MobilityCat]

Yesterday, I found myself in an embarrassing and upsetting situation when I crapped myself while waiting outside the disabled toilet. A mum was inside, chatting and cooing to her baby while changing its nappy. While I completely understand that she needed a suitable place to change her baby, I couldn’t help but wonder: why does it have to be in the one facility specifically designed for the disabled? Why can't the baby changing facilities be located in the women's toilet or have a separate dedicated room for this purpose?

I think the poster was saying her cousin becane disabled as a result of her pregnancy / labour. Rather than saying pregnancy should be classed as a disability.

I wouldn’t mind so much if the baby change tables in the disabled loos were actually accessible. But they’re generally not. They’re set at a height that’s comfortable for a walking person to change at rather than me in my wheelchair. If you’re going to use the disabled loo for a changing station imo you should make that changing table accessible for mums in wheelchairs!!!

Sorry this happened to you - sounds very frustrating and upsetting for you. It is a shame how often babies and disabled have to share spaces and so are pitted against each other for limited spaces. It happens on trains too with prams vs wheelchairs.

I did just want to comment on your point about why can’t the baby change be in the women’s toilets tho. This is absolutely 100% wrong as then dads can’t do nappy change. Also then what’s a mum to do… leave the pram and baby outside toilets out of sight whilst she uses the loo?

there should just be more facilities - that’s not the mum or babies fault.

Then there should be sccessible changing facilities! Given most places only provide one disabled toilet it needs to be focused on toilet / incontinence changing facilities. There's lots of different types of disabilities as it is all requiring differing needs from a loo.

Accessible baby change should be separate.

AMEN TO THAT!!!

Why not have it in the same room. Then a person can do a poo and change their baby in one room. That seems accessible to me.

This is so outdated. Depending on the area, its basically impossible to get a blue badge now even if you have a permanent disability.

So we need one that is electric height adjustable or something like that

Can we all just agree that these spaces (baby change/disabled/accessible/whatever the hell you want to call it) rooms are clearly designed by able-bodied men who have never once changed a nappy or been in a situation where they are desperate for the loo but have their tiny baby in a pram and can't bring them into the cubicle so have to resort to keeping the door ajar or open and use the pram as a 'door'.

I have no experience regarding whether disabled loos are fit for purpose so can't comment on that but the majority of combined disabled/changing facilities I've had to use for my babies are absolutely disgusting, the changing tables aren't cleaned, the nappy bin is always placed awkwardly or is broken and I can guarantee you I wouldn't want to spend more time than is absolutely necessary in there 'cooing'.

Bbz this is mumsnet 😂 agreeing is not allowed.

But yes I agree. Baby changing could be better and accessibility (at least in the UK) is abyssmal.

The mother is not at fault here though. She was using the space designated. I agree it's crazy that disabled toilets are often also the designated baby change facility. But if there wasn't another one available what would you propose she did instead?
Realistically there needs to be baby change facilities in both the men's and womens toilets (the number of time my DH has had issues in places because it was only available in the ladies is ridiculous).

But your anger is misdirected. Rather then at the mother surely you should be contacting the supermarket?!

It doesn’t help anyone for changing tables to only be in women’s toilets, men change their children too!
So many times we’ve been out and there have been no baby facilities in mixed or the men’s and only the women’s. It’s a disgrace.

It’s upsetting for you what has happened but it’s got nothing to do with the woman changing her baby, in the designated space to do so. It could have been another disabled person in there before you too, it’s just part of a public space that means it won’t always be free immediately.

Sorry this happened to you 🥰 However, the venue is at fault, not the mum. It could just have easily been another disabled person in there and you still would have soiled yourself. Maybe make a complaint to the venue and see if they can look into having dedicated disabled toilets?

I've had 5 babies and still cannot understand why it takes some people so long to change a nappy. Even with a full clothes change. Sone take ages, it's ridiculous.
So sorry this happened to you OP.

So now there needs to be male and female toilets, disabled toilet, separate baby change and separate accessible baby change? You can see why most places don’t have all of these and try to combine, it would take up most of a cafe with all the different types of spaces required.

As a ‘toilet disabled’ mother, I have also had an unfortunate incident like you when a person who was on their own didn’t leave the toilet in time for what was going on in my bowels. It really doesn’t matter who was in there, it’s just very unfortunate. A lot of places have limited room for toilets and the space needed for accessible ones takes up a lot of space so there can’t be many due to logistics.

You just have to dust yourself down, it is embarrassing, but what else can you do? It is nobody’s fault, people can’t help having a disability. I’ve used the ‘just sorting out the child’ excuse when actually it was me needing the extra time as I felt shouting that through a toilet door is less embarrassing!!

Also, a lot of new mothers do have bathroom needs that they didn’t before and I hate it where there is only a changing table and no toilet. As a bathroom disabled person (before I had my child, but others have this temporarily just after birth), I would have to change my baby and then have to queue up for a regular toilet, no room for a pram or to put the baby down if I was on their toilet. One horrible time I had to leave the pram and baby outside the toilet as there wasn’t any room to bring them in or lay them down, then try and keep the door open through a horrible and embarrassing crohns flare up. Do you subject others to your ordeal or keep the door shut and not keep an eye on your baby? Obviously the former, but it’s horrible for everyone.

There are places that do get it right.
I've seen shopping centres with "pushchair cubicles" in the womens toilets (no ideaif there was similar in the mens)
Family toilets with a changing table, and sometimes a small toilet as well as a normal toilet (disabled toilet elsewhere)
Disabled toilets with a a video doorbell so access is only granted to those who need it (unfortunately no idea how that works for invisible disabilities) and similar on the baby change
The lovely John Lewis family room with a changing area, a women only breastfeeding area and a separate bottle feeding area, with comfy seating (and toys for siblings)

Cooing at the baby usually makes the nappy change that little bit quicker, particularly if it's an "interesting" change...

Cooing, rather than growling please god don't poo while your nappy is off, get your hand out of the nappy, crumbs I need three hands, don't eat the flipping wipes, please stop rolling again.

My worst long nappy changes were cleaning up after myself after a messy change, poo everywhere type situation, would prefer not to leave a disaster area!

Sorry you experienced this OP, it sounds very unfortunate.
I agree that separate spaces would be better, or make up for it by having 2 accessible toilet/baby change areas

As a mum it can take a while to change a nappy and the chatting and cooing was probably a method to get it done without the baby screaming the place. I always want to get out of public toilets as quickly as possible - but with smaller ones it can take forever!

I have noticed this, unless it’s a modern and newer build with a purpose built baby toilet with a nice breastfeeding room (not the horrible bathrooms where you might as well feel like you are feeding your baby on a toilet seat)! I see that disabled toilets and baby facilities are merged into 1 and I honestly do not think this is fair. Not because of the time it takes - as you may have had this issue if it happened to be another person with a disability infront of you - but because they have different purposes and should be built with the user in mind.

I’ve had to change my baby ontop of bathroom counters, on the buggy, in all sorts of places whereby some venues just haven’t thought of other users. This tends to be smaller places though like family owned resturants or similar.

Would love to see this discussed in development though.

My partner was changing our DD in a coffee shop near us which has a combined baby change/disabled toilet. She had a poo explosion so was a full outfit change so took a while and he came out to a load of abuse from a disabled man waiting for the loo, which made my DD cry. My partner suggested he take it up with the manager of the shop, they cram these coffee shops in such tiny spaces it’s ridiculous.

Also, as for your suggestion regarding a changing table in the women's toilet. Personally I think my baby is as entitled to privacy as anyone else. Also, how would my DP then have changed her? Or is that a pink job?

I guess because fathers have to change nappies too

Nappy changing should be in the male and female toilets and in the disabled toilets (for disabled parents). No way should you have had to wait for an able bodied parent to do a nappy change. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s unacceptable.