Shared disability toilets with baby changing facilities

[MobilityCat]

Yesterday, I found myself in an embarrassing and upsetting situation when I crapped myself while waiting outside the disabled toilet. A mum was inside, chatting and cooing to her baby while changing its nappy. While I completely understand that she needed a suitable place to change her baby, I couldn’t help but wonder: why does it have to be in the one facility specifically designed for the disabled? Why can't the baby changing facilities be located in the women's toilet or have a separate dedicated room for this purpose?

@Purplevelvetshoes

Because she was taking her time. It wasn’t a quick nappy change.

You cannot tell that by the fact she was vocal with her baby.

Ok, fair do OP has clarified that meant it took long.

It boils my piss OP to hear someone having a long relaxing change of nappy when I’m outside wrestling my non verbal complex ds praying that I he are not covered in shit by the time they’ve finished singing old McDonald for the umpteenth time.
If I could use any other toilet I would. I would give anything to not need to use the disabled toilet.
I would give my life to make ds NT.

Sometimes nappy changes aren't quick. I don't understand why you're so bothered that she was talking to her own baby, but YABU. She was using the facility designated for her, not her fault it's a shared space.

Yes that would have annoyed me too.

There aren't enough disabled facilities for the disabled. Baby change facilities should be elsewhere it's very annoying.

Apparently I didn't clarify that it was a shared space

A "long relaxing nappy change"? Are you having a laugh?

Chatting and cooing to baby doesn’t make the nappy change slower, sometimes nappy changes can rake a while particularly if it’s a poo nappy. As the disabled toilet is shared with the baby change there’s not much the lady could have done, she had to finish changing her babies nappy and so you unfortunately had to wait, nothing to be done about it and not her fault. I get why you were upset though.

Tbh, I have been in the situation where I was changing my baby and someone knocked and called out, obviously a little distressed. I bundled my baby up and finished dressing him outside the toilet. I always felt a bit in the wrong using a baby changing unit in the disabled toilet even when it is the designated space.

It would be more appropriate to put a changing unit in the male and female toilets and keep the disabled toilet for just that purpose.

I have IBS and have sudden urgent need to go to the loo, I have soiled myself many times OP.
As there is often a queue for the (non- disabled) loo I tend to wear incontinence pants and carry nappy bags and wipes if I am going out. It’s quite tight sorting my self out in a small cubicle but there is obviously going to be more space for you if you use a disabled toilet.
As even disabled toilets are sometimes going to have a queue, are incontinence pants something you would consider? It’s obviously still unpleasant but it takes away the stress.

nappy changes are rarely relaxing and can take a while. If the baby change is in the disabled toilets then it is what it is and not the parents fault. Unfortunately that means people will have to wait sometimes.

I agree they should be separate spaces. However, if that's where the baby's changing space was, then the mum did nothing wrong.

If another disabled person was using it, you'd be in the same situation of having to wait - if it's a regular occurance and you can't use the other toilets then maybe wearing incontinence pants will help.

(I have a disability and have disabled children).

Oh, bless you, @MobilityCat. I’m sorry that happened.

I agree with you totally - there should be more, and better, facilities everywhere.

Ideally in my view, there should be baby changing facilities in both the ladies and gents loos (sometimes dads change babies too) plus in the disabled loos, for those who need more room due to older and therefore larger disabled children needing to be changed.

And most importantly, there should ALWAYS be more than one single, solitary disabled loo.

Where my OH and I volunteer there are baby changing facilities in the ladies, the gents and the disabled. It's not to difficult for them to be installed and dad's do change babies as well.

Space issue. Most places, especially cafes often have a single toilet for male, female and disabled. And disabled is bigger than the other 2 combined. Some have a unisex toilet and disabled. They don't have room for another large space they could fit several paying customers in.

Disabled toilets don't actually get a lot of use comparatively and they occupy a large floor print. By adding the baby change they get double use from same space. At end of the day it was a mum and baby in there but could have been another disabled person. They're not there to get you to a toilet more quickly, but more to have the space needed for any access requirements like wheelchairs, carers etc. What if it had been a dad and only facilities were in the women's?

The mum did nothing wrong using the facilities available to her.

It was a shared space and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for there to be shared spaces. The requirements of an accessible toilet is that it is suitably equipped for a person with a disability to use it, so it needs adequate floor space and grab rails etc. The requirement is not for it to be kept empty or free from the non-disabled at all times, it’s okay that somebody (disabled or otherwise) has to queue sometimes. I appreciate it’s difficult if you can’t wait for the toilet but what would you have done if there had been another disabled person in the toilet in front of you? You can’t expect the toilet to always be available I’m afraid, just as the non-disabled facilities won’t always be available either. Needing to queue for a public toilet because somebody else is using it is fairly standard and it’s not reasonable to expect it won’t ever happen.

It does annoy me when people use the , oh but that would have happened if another disabled person was using it.
that is not the point of the thread, but it does point out that disabled people already have very limited facilities compared to able bodied. So why make it worse by making it shared with the baby change as well.

Then a parent with a disability wouldn't have anywhere to change their child they'd have to have to do their thing in the accessible loo and then go to a non accessible loo to change their child.

For practical reasons I think the baby changing facilities and the disabled toilet are lumped together as they both need to be large spaces I.e. fit a changing table and a wheelchair (hence term 'accessible' rather than disabled being used more).

I think there is a real lack of understanding / thought given by both designers and public about why people may need an allocated disabled toilet. There is perhaps a perception that someone not in a wheelchair can just go in any old toilet. Of course sometimes this is the case, but not always.

In some places there are only accessible toilets, to make sure everyone is covered (but as above, this isnt really the answer if there's only one or two and a likely queue).

This is 2024. If changing facilities are to be in the other toilets they need to be in both the male and female ones. Definitely not just in the female one!

It's really tricky, as a mum of a small baby and a toddler I need a space where I can toilet us all- this is often a shared disabled baby change- as even if there is a changing table in the ladies it's tricky if I or the toddler need to use the toilet as the pram doesn't fit in a cubicle with us. I am acutely aware that changing a baby and having the toddler and/or myself use the toilet is not quick, but what can we do? Not go out, or never use a toilet when we are? Unfortunately that's not possible and space and facilities are often limited or insufficient. It's not fair on either party.
And if you hear me singing or cooing whilst in there- this means I'll be quicker, as it's much quicker to change a calm happy baby than a distressed one kicking and wriggling that I'm fighting every step of the way!

You don't know that.

The people to get annoyed at are the premises for not having adequate facilities, not other people using them.

So the person with the disability has easy access to a changing table?

I'm sorry that happened, op.
It feels very humiliating when it happens.

Yes, baby change facilities should be separate from disabled toilets imo. There's very rarely no space. It may require rejigging spaces but that's not the same as no actual space.

Disabled loos are for disabled people. Having a baby makes no one disabled. 🙄