Thats the FOG talking. This is the reality - its a handy little reminder of the past couple of days to stick on the fridge when the toxic fog descends again to cloud and skew your judgement:
*there's an incredible lack of self awareness with them - they don't have any friends left.
DF has managed to cut everyone out over the years when they don't align with his ideals - he cuts contact with them, and I think their lack of a social life makes them even more intense with us - we are their life and all they have to focus on.
They don't like DS partner either and bitch about them to us and likely vice versa.
The thought of my dad's reaction to this is frightening.
He's an explosively-angry person.
my dad went mental at him and caused a scene.
She never sees it from any other perspective than her own.
She's always the victim and I'm always the perpetrator in her eyes.
DM's not entirely blameless in that she's also not behind the door in her constant remarks and observations about me/DH/kids etc.
but my parents were rude to ILs.
And last year mum cried every day in the run up to xmas saying it'll be the worst ever because we weren't doing what she wanted.
but that is always met with disdain and ignored or me made to feel bad for even suggesting it.
I've also sat both parents down several times to talk about how their behaviour affects me but again this is overlooked and over ruled.
But my parents were rude, ungracious, made the 4 days awkward
my dad flies into rage and then doesn't speak to me for weeks.
DH was at the end of the line with their behaviour and the way it's been affecting me.
There's been a lot of upset and stress involved with them of late
and it's a never-ending cycle as they don't recognise
and I try to placate them to keep the peace between them and so on it goes to the detriment of my happiness as I've done for years.
I do feel they're manipulative,
domineering,
extremely jealous of my in-laws
and generally self-centred and selfish,
dressed up in victimisation
but they completely dominate a situation,
have made it clear they're not big fans of my DH (of 11 years)
and generally suck the joy out of social occasions with their constant bickering,
them being overbearing and intense
my dad flipped, telling my husband he'd always had his suspicions about him and generally being a dick.
Dad didn't wish DH merry Christmas,
ignored him at dinner
and left without saying goodbye to either of us,*
Dont let these toxic people pollute your DC and your marriage another day. You need some support to build and maintain your boundaries so that the inevitable damage done to your self worth can be repaired. Have your DC seen, heard or sensed any of this behaviour from your DPs or how it has impacted their dad and you. This is very damaging stuff.