Unreasonable on dog walk

[Hatexmasdinner]

Myself, DH, DD (10) and DDog were out for a dog walk this morning. DDog tried to lay down to say hi to another dog. She was on a slip lead and my DH then popped said lead and sent her literally flying. My reaction was "oh my god" as I got a fright and DD said that it was a bit harsh. He then thrust the lead at me and stormed off. Didn't walk with us for the remaining 40 mins of walk. We got back to house and he came into the room and had a go at me for undermining him. At this point I lost it as I thought his behaviour was completely out of order, both the treatment of DDog and in front of DD. AIBU as he's now giving me silent treatment all day?

What do you mean by popped her lead?
How did he send her flying? Did he kick her?

What's a slip lead? What do you mean "popped it"? Explain better.

I think "popped it" is a breakdancing term. My understanding is the DH started dancing in the park.

Sorry it's this style of lead https://www.petsathome.com/product/3-peaks-ascent-slip-dog-lead-ecru/P71506

She stopped and lay down while he pulled the lead so effectively pulled her to his side and sent her flying. Sorry not articulating it well am I

What a fucking arsehole.
Is your husband one of those dog walkers who can't let their dogs interact with peasant dogs?
Abusive prick

Popping the lead is a training term its a sharp sudden tug usually used to interrupt bad behaviour. You do it with horses too. The DH didn't use it correctly here and did it way too hard if he pulled her over.

From Google:

A "popped slip lead" refers to a quick, sharp tug on a slip leash, creating a brief moment of pressure on the dog's neck to get their attention and redirect their behavior, typically used as a training tool to correct unwanted pulling or distractions while walking; it's considered a subtle correction when done correctly, with the pressure immediately released after the "pop"

He may not have meant to have been so abrupt. It may have been a knee jerk reaction.

If it is a one off I would have waited til I got home to address it.

It is hard to judge. The silent treatment isn’t good either.

I never used a pop lead they sound a bit harsh in the wrong hands though!

Firstly he pulled the dog way too hard and secondly, if she was lying down she was being submissive, so didn't really warrant the tug.

I too would have exclaimed if someone yanked my dog like that. He knows he's the unreasonable one, which is probably why he's acting out - he can't admit he was in the wrong.

Yeah but the dog only wanted to say hello to another dog and interact,
Unless it was an XL bully off lead bounding up to the dog was there a need to "pop the lead to send the dog flying"

Hmm, we had our gundogs to a gundog trainer who used this method. It worked a treat and we didn't need to do it very often or for long.

Why did he do it if the dog was lying down?

Is he one of these who has to be boss of the dog? Alpha male shit?

Poor dog not allowed to say hello. That’s what dogs go out for. Was it a training walk or a fun walk? Is he the one who trains the dog? if not he shouldn’t be using a training lead. Sounds like he should be banned.

You embarrassed him but he needs to get over it.

Mellow dramatic bullshit on both parts I would say!

If your dog was laying down he was in friendly mode and your man over reacted.

Maybe he knows that and felt embarrassed- can he take negative comments? My guess is he can't.

Why are you using a slip lead?

If you're jointly choosing the method of causing pain to the dogs as a "training" method, you are accepting that dog getting hurt is the consequence of dog doing something owner doesn't like/want, no?

Perhaps use a non pain giving lead and harness and train your dog without pain.

He wouldn’t be near the dog again if that’s how he treats it. Utterly disgusting behaviour and get rid of the slip lead. I agree with @mrsm43s slips leads are not a training method and cause pain in the wrong hands.

So he yanked what is effectively a noose around your dog's neck hard enough to drag her over the ground towards him?

He sounds like an absolute cunt tbh.

And then got angry and took off when OP reacted to the sudden move. Exclaiming oh my god was hardly having a go at him and doesn't warrant any of his behaviour. He's been a complete dick head through all of this.

Eta: if I'd accidentally done this to my dog I'd behave like an adult, Id be worried about my dog, apologise and check they were OK and Id be feeling bad for hurting it. I would.NOT be getting pissed off about DP reaction

what's your reasoning for using a slip lead? if you're okay with using one you accept that they cause pain (even though he obviously overused it). You both need to engage the services of a positive dog trainer ASAP because neither of you seem to know what you're doing. Using an aversive method on your dog while it's in submissive mode will also help to make your dog reactive to dogs. He was awful but you both need to do a LOT better.

Has he been cruel to the dog before? If it was an accident he should have apologised, not stormed off.

Was the other dog on a lead?

You know that your husband is training you too right?
You know how you will be punished the next time you "undermine" him 🤨

Poor dog!

A slip lead is a safety lead used to prevent escape. It's used frequently by fosterers and adopters of very nervous dogs, and particularly foreign dogs, who are major flight risks - if they escape, you're just not getting them back. It's supposed to be temporary, until the dog has properly settled and is no longer a flight risk - some dogs always remain nervous, so always need it for their own safety.

It is NOT a replacement for training and it is NOT a training aid and should never be used as such.

Your DH is being cruel, and none of you should be using this as the main lead to walk the dog - it is used as backup, along with a harness and lead, which should be what you actually use to walk the dog.

I'll repeat - the lead is a safety measure. It is NOT to be used to strangle your dog (which is exactly a object that is designed to be escape proof and used round the neck will do).

If your dog is not a nervous dog, bin the fucking thing and use appropriate gear.

I've foreign rescue dogs that never lived in a house or walked on a lead until they were adult. You do not need to use a 'pop' on a lead to correct unwanted behaviour. Actual training does that.

And if you do have a nervous dog, you're not helping with your usage of this. Do fucking better, all of you.