Unreasonable on dog walk

[Hatexmasdinner]

Myself, DH, DD (10) and DDog were out for a dog walk this morning. DDog tried to lay down to say hi to another dog. She was on a slip lead and my DH then popped said lead and sent her literally flying. My reaction was "oh my god" as I got a fright and DD said that it was a bit harsh. He then thrust the lead at me and stormed off. Didn't walk with us for the remaining 40 mins of walk. We got back to house and he came into the room and had a go at me for undermining him. At this point I lost it as I thought his behaviour was completely out of order, both the treatment of DDog and in front of DD. AIBU as he's now giving me silent treatment all day?

If your husband has to resort to being physical with your dog (pulling on it, yanking it, grabbing it by the collar, using a slip lead, dragging it along, holding it back when it lunges) to control it or gets it attention, you shouldn't have a dog.

Poor dog. Change leads and invest in a trainer to ensure your dog listens to verbal (or signal) commands.

What sort of dog is it? Is it a dangerous breed?

The silent treatment he's now giving you is a huge red flag. I wouldn't be putting up with that shit.
Does he use that tactic often? Does he decide when you've been punished enough, and then act like nothing has happened?

This.. Is this his normal behaviour?!? The fact the dog is laying down suggests she is a very passive personality, no excuse whatsoever for that type of harsh handling. That's abuse. He would have got a mouthful from me. Apart from anything else, you dont want your daughter to learn that this is a normal way to treat any animal. I wouldn't be letting the dog anywhere near him, let alone allowing him to walk her. And I would be asking myself what I'm doing with an animal abusing bully..

Worked a treat? Not much a treat for the dogs, really. This is such antiquated BS. Typical of gundog trainers. They are still in the dark ages. Believe it or not there are kind, scientifically proven, modern ways to train dogs these days that don't involve physical punishment. If you wouldn't do it to your kid, you shouldn't do it to your dog.

You shouldn't do it with dogs or horses. It's cruel and unnecessary and soooo outdated as a training method

It was 25 years ago 😃
I currently have the same breed who wasn't trained with this method, she is awesome 🙂

But your dog lowering herself to the ground is normal behaviour — showing she’s submissive, no threat to the other dog. Does your husband not understand this and thought dog walking meant just walking from A to B and back?
Silent treatment is unacceptable and just seems to emphasise his “ my way irl no way” attitude.

Your husband sounds like a knob! Get rid! And if you can’t or won’t get rid of him, do the kind thing and get the dog neutered and rehomed. Poor dog.

I’ve just come back to this thread after replying yesterday. I’ve also read the link you posted and it’s making me more and more annoyed that you and your “D” H are clearly inexperienced in using a slip lead and treating a dog this way. There is NO NEED to “correct” a dogs behaviour using a slip lead imo, you’d be as well using a shock collar for goodness sake which is equally as abusive.

If you train a dog properly to walk to heel with kindness from a young age there’s no need for these “aids”. We have working collies and labs who are pets, not one of them has needed “corrected” with slip leads or any other aversive “techniques” and I would never allow any of our dogs to trained with anything other than kindness.

If your dog is pulling you off your feet then it’s you and your “D” H that need more education in owning a dog. Training a dog needs time, kindness and commitment, not aids.

Seriously, some people shouldn’t own animals.

If your dog has pulled you over have you considered using a halti type head collar or figure 8 lead? Your DH doesn't seem to know how to behave towards dogs or humans.

You can repeat it all you want, just because you don’t deem a slim lead a training aid does mean it isn’t one. Plenty if expert trainers (who don’t use unkind methods) use them legitimately. I have had large dogs for most of my life. I am now 65. Every one I have easily trained to walk to heal by using a loose lead and collar. That is until my current Weimaraner, who just can’t focus for long enough without a slip lead. Positioned and used correctly, they are a very effective training tool and can be used on an ongoing basis if desired and always used correctly!

OP, YANBU

So long as it’s positioned high up under the chin and around her ears and only tightens when popped, it’s a good aid. Your Vet and Trainer friend is quite correct.

Those leads are only supposed to be used to gain control in emergency situations, e.g., a dog barking at a fence that has gone over the threshold and cannot be brought back under control with verbal commands or distracted with treats/play.

YABU to use for general walks. They have the potential to cause serious physical harm, especially in the way you are currently using it. Buy a head collar if you cannot train your dog to walk on a harness and seek professional help.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. He’s sort of proved that theory here. Poor dog.

Think your over reacting you'd not be saying that if your dog was out with you and she does that to a highly aggressive dog get a grip amd apologise to your husband for your overreaction

It's a hangman's noose.

If the dog is too strong for both of you to manage without a flat collar , please please get decent training. ASAP.

{Prong collars and Electric shock collars are equally wanky}

No dog should be needing a noose that cuts off the air supply, or cause pain.

''Popping'' the lead? - never heard of such a thing..The man sounds like a grade A abusive brute.

People are saying that slip leads work as training tools, and many trainers use them. They're right. But that's not the whole story. These tools are aversive, ie they work by causing the dog pain. Why would you choose to do that when there are now other methods that work better, teach the dog how to use his brain instead of just reacting, and build his trust, confidence and willingness to work with you instead of destroying it?
I'm not knocking anyone who used aversives in the past, when we didn't have other options and we didn't know as much as we know now about the fallout. But please research and educate yourself before you choose to use them now.

So your dog was being submissive when saying hello to another dog and your dh effectively punished them so next time your dog will know not to be submissive when greeting another dog

Your dh needs training
Why was your dh correcting ddog

It sounds like your DH popped the lead too hard and embarrassed himself then escalated it into drama.

Quite a few on here saying it's ok for dogs to say hello to other dogs.
Well, if you are out with a toddler who wants to pet a strange dog do you allow it? Or do you ask the dog owner first?
Same with dogs. Don't let your dog approach another dog without asking the owner first.
If your dog is off lead call it back until you've asked. If it doesn't come back it shouldn't be off the lead.

Our dog was attacked by an off lead dog. Now he reacts to dogs that come to 'say hello'. He wears a yellow 'stay away' vest but owners still let their dogs approach.

I'm trying to counter condition him but it's never going to work when folk think it's ok to let their dog approach

Same with dogs. Don't let your dog approach another dog without asking the owner first.
If your dog is off lead call it back until you've asked. If it doesn't come back it shouldn't be off the lead.
Our dog was attacked by an off lead dog. Now he reacts to dogs that come to 'say hello'. He wears a yellow 'stay away' vest but owners still let their dogs approach.

This. My spaniel was attacked so many times over his 14 years (both full on biting fights and snarls as a dog lunged towards him). I had to try and walk him where there wouldn't be any/many dogs but we still met plenty of arsehole owners and "they've never done that before"s

OP, your DH was an idiot. How much of one depends on whether this was a one off or if he's usually like that.

It’s melodramatic.

Used to be called a choke chain when I was younger. Think it's outrageous you are still using one when there are hundreds of types of harnesses available. Get with the 21st century for the sake of the dog.